need some help

  • baldone

    Posts: 826

    Jul 12, 2009 3:49 PM GMT
    ok...so me being fairly new and out .....have met a new guy...very nice,have lots and lots in common both married and divorced, both have kids, both same identical church backgrounds in music and kids .....but...just found out he is poz......how do i proceed and can this work .....really like the guy...and not one to give up on someone.....
    finally getting over the self infactuation of the previous guy and finding out we are going to be great friends....but would kind of like to see if this can go somehwere
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jul 12, 2009 3:58 PM GMT
    Well I think the first thing is to make sure you are comfortable with the idea
    of the potential of sex with someone who is poz. To be comfortable, you need to know the facts of what sexual behaviors you may or may not be comfortable and safety factors.

    The reality is, if you date him, become more serious and sex becomes a probability, you probably should have a serious talk with him. He will know your background and should talk to you about his situation so you can become comfortable with whatever you may want to explore.
    Good luck with all.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 12, 2009 3:59 PM GMT
    I think you should proceed like anybody else and totally enjoy this man and getting to know him.

    Congratulations on meeting someone who clicks with you.

    When two people really like each other, they are eager to find solutions to problems. Where there is a will, there is a way.

    Safe sex? It sounds like you guys will work out the specifics...."the mechanics" and how to express yourselves physically with each other ( which will be indicative of your emotional bonds).

    Make sure he has insurance to cover the needed meds and care that he will need in order to stay healthy. You don't want to be stuck paying his bills.

    In an ironic twist on things, I recently dated a guy who I really liked, but he dumped me because he was positive and wanted someone the same. I felt very disappointed because he didn't give things a chance.
  • baldone

    Posts: 826

    Jul 12, 2009 4:03 PM GMT
    KissingPro saidI think you should proceed like anybody else and totally enjoy this man and getting to know him.

    Congratulations on meeting someone who clicks with you.

    When two people really like each other, they are eager to find solutions to problems. Where there is a will, there is a way.

    Safe sex? It sounds like you guys will work out the specifics...."the mechanics" and how to express yourselves physically with each other ( which will be indicative of your emotional bonds).

    Make sure he has insurance to cover the needed meds and care that he will need in order to stay healthy. You don't want to be stuck paying his bills.
    insurance is not an issue...he has a very very good job working for a publishing company here in cleveland..he writes and illustrates childrens educational workbooks and story books
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 12, 2009 10:20 PM GMT
    do you still want to pursue something?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 12, 2009 10:30 PM GMT
    i do not think you should reject him out of hand because you are serodiscordant. there is quite a lot to consider here. look at liltanker's question: do you still want to persue something with him? if no, that's your choice; however, if yes, you will need to become familiar with safer sex practices, safer sex alternatives, and non-traditional relationship parameters. you have to listen to your instinct, but be careful that it's your instinct talking, not fear.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Jul 12, 2009 10:53 PM GMT
    There are guys out there who are relationships where one guy is Positive and the other is negative
    So if you really like the guy it can be done
    But if not you really need to come to grip with it now and move on