How to meet guys?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 13, 2009 4:18 AM GMT
    Hi guys, I am new here icon_smile.gif I couldn't find an intro thread, so I'm sorry if this is in the wrong area of the forum. Anyways, please excuse my ignorance, but what is the best way to meet guys? I know that's probably the dumbest question in the world, but I live in a very conservative state, my family is mormon, and I'm the youngest of 7 kids. I came out to my family and friends last christmas and it didnt go over as badly as I thought it would. Problem is I have never met another gay person (who I *knew* was gay) before. And this fall I'll be starting college in the san francisco bay area and I hear there are lots of gay people, even rainbow flags everywhere! I just feel so naive and insecure about the GLBT community, and nervous. I'll be 19 tomorrow and I've never even held hands with a boy icon_confused.gif

    thanks in advance for any advice =)
  • DrobUA

    Posts: 1331

    Jul 13, 2009 7:50 PM GMT
    You will meet plenty of guys in college. Especially in the bay area. Don't sweat it I didn't meet another guy till I was 18.
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    Jul 13, 2009 8:03 PM GMT
    You're going to get into some serious shenanigans over the next 4 years in SF. You're going to love it.

    Trust me.

    icon_biggrin.gif
  • EricLA

    Posts: 3461

    Jul 13, 2009 8:13 PM GMT
    Try 23. And I transferred to UCLA when I was 21. But that was years ago. You appear to be a handsome guy, I bet they'll find you. I'm sure Berkeley, like UCLA, has an undergraduate gay group and Rap sessions. If you're living in the dorms, there are probably dorm-specific groups. Berkeley might have an lgbt newspaper, if you like to write. But, as has already been said, you shouldn't have any problems. Berkeley is known for its acceptance and tolerance, and can be just as gay as San Francisco. Your world is about to change for the better. Congrats!
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    Jul 13, 2009 8:20 PM GMT
    If your college is large enough and non-religious there will be a gay student organization on campus that you may want to contact. Not knowing your school I'm not sure by what name it will be called, could be 10% Society, GLBT Student Association (or LGBT), Gay-Straight Alliance, Rainbow-something, etc. You'll figure it out.

    It might be a good way to meet fellow gay & lesbian students, who can advise you on the local gay "customs" for that particular campus and area. They'll possibly have social mixers & activities, may have their own offices and student center on campus you can use, provide literature on the local gay scene and support agencies, free HIV testing, maybe scholarship & grant opportunities for GLBT students, counseling, etc, etc. Do contact them.

    And whether or not the campus has one officially, sometimes these groups exist off-campus as well. Look for announcements on student activity bulletin boards. Gay students may also have their own bulletin board, typically in the Student Union (or alternately the Memorial Union).

    As for meeting guys, that's a related but somewhat different topic I'll post here shortly. But first I think you need to orient yourself as a gay student on your new campus (unless strictly religious and gay-hostile). Most colleges in SF will be very friendly, however.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 13, 2009 8:22 PM GMT
    Welcome to RJ. And you're not alone with that question LOL.

    Oh, and happy birthday.
  • swimbikerun

    Posts: 2835

    Jul 13, 2009 8:23 PM GMT
    Turn off the computer and go play outside!
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    Jul 13, 2009 8:27 PM GMT
    swimbikerun saidTurn off the computer and go play outside!


    Awesome! I'll see you out there. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 13, 2009 9:01 PM GMT
    The first boy I ever kissed was when I was 19 and a freshman at college. You are in the same boat as thousands of other homos. Get out there, get your heart broken, learn a lot about yourself and other, and play safe.
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    Jul 14, 2009 3:38 AM GMT
    Mabye times have changed, but I think it's awesome that you were able to come out to your family at such an early stage in your personal coming out - before even knowing any openly gay people or having a gay support group.

    Since you say you come from a conservative state, prepare yourself for culture shock when you land in Berkeley. (:

    Here's some info on UC Berkeley's LGBT office:
    http://students.berkeley.edu/osl/geneq.asp?id=1169

    Best of luck with it, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
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    Jul 14, 2009 5:29 AM GMT
    You will have all sorts of experiences out here in SF. There are a lot of gay mormons out here. I know at least three now. Pace yourself out here. There is lots to explore. Trust your instincts and don't do anything you don't feel you are ready for....plenty of time to grow and make many new friends, you will love it here. Its very open and accepting. Good luck!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 14, 2009 5:40 AM GMT
    DrobUA saidYou will meet plenty of guys in college. Especially in the bay area. Don't sweat it I didn't meet another guy till I was 18.


    Dude, don't worry about meeting people. Just get to know people who accept you for who you are. Once you find them, you'll feel a lot calmer. I'm there right now, haven't really met a guy to date yet.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 17, 2009 4:34 AM GMT
    gahh sorry it's taken me so long to reply. I really appreciate everyone taking the time to give advice, thank you =)