Jul 14, 2009 6:16 AM GMT
I've been dying to share this experience with you guys upon my last visit to the Philippines, for the first time in 8 years since arriving here in Dubai pre-9/11! Anyway, all the while I was home, I slept beside my mum in her bed. This was most practical so we can catch up with each other until we both falled asleep I've always slept beside her even as an adult since her room was the only one with air conditioning, eversince.
Every morning during my last visit, I noticed that we were back to how we've always been: *but I had no idea at the time what it was in my childhood to adolescence* --she's spooned me as I resumed a fetal position very comfortably. Every morning when I sleep right beside her.
And it felt glorious! It seems as if my "decay" (you know, the usual stressors i.e. working in a foreign land, no immediate support system, different culture, failed relationships, heartaches, general uncertainties, and so on) in the years that had passed living abroad just wore off, like dead skin. For the first time, I felt this is all what I've been missing and needed, realizing how stupid I was to seek this kind of comfort from another man and the troubles that came with.
I have never felt happier, content and satisfied at that moment which felt so still. It was such a profound experience to me. Like everything, and I mean EVERYTHING is forgiven: past, present and future, making me in touch with my being. It was such a spectacular elating feeling, yet quite subtle, that I felt and even smelt in my breathing. It was like all my senses integrated and was made still. I felt healed on a higher plane of being. Totally incomparible, it was strange as it was familiar. I've shared this experience to my friends and nobody just seemed to get it. I just felt the need to articulate this the best way I could, as these are just written words.
That's why upon my return, I felt more confident, secure and very positive. I became a different person.
It would be lovely to know if this experience isn't unique as it appears to be.