How to help a friend in need?

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    Nov 26, 2007 2:59 PM GMT
    Hey everyone...I'm relatively new to this site, but I noticed that many of you give great advice to people wiht problems.
    So here's the thing:
    I have a friend, she's 18, and for 3 years, she is really depressed.It all started when we were in school, she asks professor to let her to bathroom, and she goes there and takes a handfull of analgetics. She ended up in hospital, and after 2 or 3 weeks she seemed allright. But later on she did it again, and just 2 weeks ago she cut her wrists, and ended up in a hospital for a month. Doctors first tought that it was depression or schizofrenia, because she said she have this voices in her head, but tests didn't show any menthal disorder. They now know that her self-control and emotional brain center are completely turned off,she has a therapy, and yet she has suicidal thoughts. So my question is, how can I possibly help her, because everytime we go out she is fine, and then her mother calls me and tells me that she tried to kill herself?
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    Nov 26, 2007 6:59 PM GMT
    Get to a professional.
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    Nov 26, 2007 7:21 PM GMT
    Run, don't walk, to see the professionals.

    Make sure your friend is finding the best possible doctors and treatment.

    The sad fact is that in some cases there may not be anything that you can do except watch.

    R
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    Nov 26, 2007 10:25 PM GMT
    Just go on with her as you allways did, se has help for here mental problems, she needs friends for the rest. Don't try to help her, the profs will do that, just be a friend, laugh and cry with her, don't feel like should be the one to help here, becuase you can't and that's hard, especially for you.
    But be sure it is the best thing you can do: So just be her friend(if you can deal with it)
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    Nov 28, 2007 2:27 PM GMT
    I just had a friend hanged himself over depression 3 month ago. Not sure what i can suggest cause i had the same questions you have.
    we are no professional. and to them, it's not something to talk it out and then they'd feel better. And seem like everything's fine ever time I saw him. But I knew, and he knew, that there's nothing more anyone can do but just pretend everythign's fine.
    I would prop. research for a better medication for her. in that field, it's really just testing and trying new drugs till she find the right one. and most of all, she need friends, social life, and no time to be along. But it's such a drag being around someone who's depressed all the time.
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    Nov 28, 2007 4:39 PM GMT
    Yeah, you better don't get inside. It can be anything, rooted in unconscious - karma@work fighting its way out or other similar causes.
    (For example, tired to tell you someth important (to turn your attention to much more perspective and productive direction of life) subconcious just start to hinder your living until you do that someth).

    However, sometimes that particular person may form like a part of you in some way - so you can't bear it by just watching. You've got to do someth.

    In this case, well, there are "ways to blue skies" -
    nothing in common with medication though. It's more of spirituality,.. and it's a whole domain from Grof-Jung stuff or years in Thibet to puzzling out your existence mission, applied things or even (i heard) changing the name could be effective. Which way fit that person better - friendly pro can help say.

    But, anyway, the key for him is to want to go on. I mean if somebody wants to drown himself - you really can do nothing. (He will sooner or later).
    Because - the driving principle idea of this world's - freedom of will, of choice. So, you allowed to control only your destiny not others. Other things are pure infringements.)
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    Nov 28, 2007 6:57 PM GMT
    Thanks for the advices guys, but the thing is, we gotten very close, I mean she is like my sister, I can't just watch her going down, me and some of her other friends went out couple of times to talk about what we can do to help her, I even went out with her parents, talked with doctors. Once we took her to spiritualist, who supposedly gotten the bad energy out of her. And as far as her name is concerned, her mother told me that she didn't want to give her the name ( her name is Nina), but a woman came in her dream and told her your daughter's name will be Nina. Maybe it is irrelevant, but the thing is that more time I spend with her, I am more sure that she will kill herself, as I said, she tried to do it once.
    the point is, she is way too important to me, for me to let her kill herself.This morning we convinced her to go to hospital, and she did, but I'm not sue that this will help, since it is the 5th time that she went to hospital...
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    Nov 28, 2007 7:31 PM GMT
    What kind of woman came to her in a dream?

    Well, it's not about bad energy probably - there's something (situation etc) she have re-live maybe but she can't.

    i'd suggest Holotropic Breathwork. It's quite effective and safe for reliving. Here's some links:

    http://www.holotropic.com/about.shtml
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holotropic_Breathwork

    And, you know you can ask God or Powers which you believe for the answer anytime. It won't hurt

    Hope this could help)
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    Nov 28, 2007 8:02 PM GMT
    Well, that I don't know, that was all her mother told me...
    Anyway, you seem to know much about spirituality and misticism, I know, there are some powerful spiritualists in Sibir, so I suppose that's how you know so much about. I have a friend in Russia that told me that one of them helped him quite a lot.
    thanks for the advice.
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    Nov 29, 2007 11:02 AM GMT
    Sibir icon_cool.gif) Oh, it's thousands miles away - never been there and don't want to =) thanks God

    Anyway, my pleasure to help if i can
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    Nov 29, 2007 3:07 PM GMT
    i wanted to quote the wonderful w.c. fields who said, 'a friend in need is a pest!' but i realise it wouldn't be appropriate here.

    lw2199.jpg
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    Nov 29, 2007 7:05 PM GMT
    Yes, very inappropriate...
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    Dec 05, 2007 10:45 AM GMT
    i'm glad i made the right decision then.