and this is why i ignore so many emails...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 15, 2009 4:23 AM GMT
    i can't find the "ignoring as communication" thread, so perhaps it was deleted. or perhaps i just am too lazy to find it. but whatever...

    all day today i was feeling wracked by guilt for being so short yesterday about defending my right to not respond to people. and so, trying to be the nice person that blackguy4you thinks i should be, i responded to every single email i got today...

    and what happened?

    aside from spending alot more time on here than i could really afford, i just got asked how i keep my upper body so lean. i went on to explain that spot training is ineffective, so the body has to be treated as an integrated whole. over the course of this conversation the person in question got snippier and ruder to me until i finally said, "precious, your tone is beginning to annoy me. go do the research on your own then."

    now...

    what would have been wrong with me simply avoiding the ignorant question in the first place? i had a distinct feeling that this person was going to be a dick, but i subverted it. i wasted a bunch of time proving to myself what i already knew yesterday. whereas i was open to considering the notion that i was arrogant for not replying to every email, i am now convinced i was right to be aloof in the first place.

    in closing: if you plan to send me dude/bro-ism one liners, random requests for sex/chat/personal information, or rude comments about my appearance (particularly when you have no pics on your profile), then i formally reserve the right, in front of every user here at real jock, to resolutely ignore your stupid ass.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 15, 2009 5:01 AM GMT
    That's somewhat harsh. Not sure how to digest it all. Didn't think I would need multiple pics to engage in emailing a fellow Rj member. As someone who's not out and kinda finding my way on my own terms, It's been easy to find some solace and relate to guy's somewhat like myself w/ similar interests...etc. This site is geared and extended toward fitness. I would think you would find it flattering that someone seek-ed advice frm you considering it looks like you take a lot of effort in your physical appearance. I'm a guy that frequently uses the term Bro, Dude, Boss, Chief and what ever else might slip outta my mouth at the time. I can assure you in the same breath I can still hold a intelligent conversation (GWU Graduate). In your defense you have the rt NOT TO ENGAGE w/ whomever you want but what are the things that you want people to ask you, so you feel as though they are worthy of a response frm you? after all is it not some form of a compliment that they emailed you anyway and would it be that hard for you to just be kind and courteous and NON-JUDGEMENTAL?......Just asking as I'm not one to go outta my way to really send private emails to folks just to say hi but curious to see what it takes to get a response back if I did?

    Hillie
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 15, 2009 5:30 AM GMT
    dancerjack saidi can't find the "ignoring as communication" thread, so perhaps it was deleted. or perhaps i just am too lazy to find it. but whatever...

    all day today i was feeling wracked by guilt for being so short yesterday about defending my right to not respond to people. and so, trying to be the nice person that blackguy4you thinks i should be, i responded to every single email i got today...

    and what happened?

    aside from spending alot more time on here than i could really afford, i just got asked how i keep my upper body so lean. i went on to explain that spot training is ineffective, so the body has to be treated as an integrated whole. over the course of this conversation the person in question got snippier and ruder to me until i finally said, "precious, your tone is beginning to annoy me. go do the research on your own then."

    now...

    what would have been wrong with me simply avoiding the ignorant question in the first place? i had a distinct feeling that this person was going to be a dick, but i subverted it. i wasted a bunch of time proving to myself what i already knew yesterday. whereas i was open to considering the notion that i was arrogant for not replying to every email, i am now convinced i was right to be aloof in the first place.

    in closing: if you plan to send me dude/bro-ism one liners, random requests for sex/chat/personal information, or rude comments about my appearance (particularly when you have no pics on your profile), then i formally reserve the right, in front of every user here at real jock, to resolutely ignore your stupid ass.

    Snippier and ruder how? Did he not agree with your workout philosophy? Or did he just not understand what you were talking about?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 15, 2009 5:37 AM GMT
    you don't need multiple pics.

    you don't need a huge vocabulary.

    you don't have to agree with my politics or anything i say.

    you don't have to be attractive in the generic sense.

    you don't have to be out at work.

    you don't have to like me, but you do have to respect me.

    you don't need anything when you say hello to people, except a polite complete sentence that isn't laden with ulterior motives, innuendo, sassy meanness, or other forms of extraneous bullshit.

    i gave the "give-everyone-a-reply" tactic a try, and now i am comfortable with going back to being more selective again. it was an interesting experiment, but my conclusions are final.


    edit:

    xrichx - when i tried to explain why the body has to be treated as an integrated whole he started being shrill and chastising me for not just cutting to the point. but i couldn't cut to the point, because if i had, he wouldn't have understood the point (based on the way he was asking his questions)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 15, 2009 5:37 AM GMT
    Hillie saidThat's somewhat harsh. Not sure how to digest it all. Didn't think I would need multiple pics to engage in emailing a fellow Rj member. As someone who's not out and kinda finding my way on my own terms, It's been easy to find some solace and relate to guy's somewhat like myself w/ similar interests...etc. This site is geared and extended toward fitness. I would think you would find it flattering that someone seek-ed advice frm you considering it looks like you take a lot of effort in your physical appearance. I'm a guy that frequently uses the term Bro, Dude, Boss, Chief and what ever else might slip outta my mouth at the time. I can assure you in the same breath I can still hold a intelligent conversation (GWU Graduate). In your defense you have the rt NOT TO ENGAGE w/ whomever you want but what are the things that you want people to ask you, so you feel as though they are worthy of a response frm you? after all is it not some form of a compliment that they emailed you anyway and would it be that hard for you to just be kind and courteous and NON-JUDGEMENTAL?......Just asking as I'm not one to go outta my way to really send private emails to folks just to say hi but curious to see what it takes to get a response back if I did?

    Hillie

    Hillie, the difference here is you aren't rude and have never been anything but graceful, kind and communicative in any message you've ever sent.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 15, 2009 5:38 AM GMT
    well at least to me anyway
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 15, 2009 5:41 AM GMT
    Jacky, I wouldn't be concerned with blackguy4you, he talks big..

    You've ever right to ignore a message, just because they have sent a message to you does not mean you have to respond.. gawd knows, I've sent a message to some people, got no response and then read more of what they've written on the forum and been incredibly grateful they haven't responded.. *coughs*checkopeningstatement*coughs*
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 15, 2009 5:42 AM GMT
    and THAT is a huge issue too: i've seen hillie post on here... i "know" he's a real person... this other creature was just someone from the dark places who'd come to spread slime on me
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 15, 2009 5:52 AM GMT
    DancerJack, No Ill intentions meant, just asking just trying to figure this site out a bit more and Tank u know I'm a sucker for your Sas and dancin ASS!

    LOL, Thanks guys
  • Delivis

    Posts: 2332

    Jul 15, 2009 6:33 AM GMT
    I only started ignoring emails a couple months ago. Up to 577 at the moment.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 15, 2009 6:57 AM GMT
    I find that removing face pics from your profile eliminates 99% of the annoying emails. icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 15, 2009 7:02 AM GMT
    xrichx saidI find that removing face pics from your profile eliminates 99% of the annoying emails. icon_lol.gif

    Like gargling with Betadine liquid soap. loolrsz
  • TallGWMvballe...

    Posts: 1925

    Jul 15, 2009 7:06 AM GMT
    There is major rift here about replying or not to even polite Email or IMs.
    Dancerjack, I don't see anything in your profile ASKING to be contacted.

    I guess if you get a deluge of mail it is difficult to answer it all but I do have to ask if you don't want to get mail WHY are you here with a profile and pictures?


  • jrs1

    Posts: 4388

    Jul 15, 2009 11:23 AM GMT
    lilTanker saidJacky, I wouldn't be concerned with blackguy4you, he talks big..

    You've ever right to ignore a message, just because they have sent a message to you does not mean you have to respond.. gawd knows, I've sent a message to some people, got no response and then read more of what they've written on the forum and been incredibly grateful they haven't responded.. *coughs*checkopeningstatement*coughs*


    it's big, entertaining, blunt, and comical guys like you, tank, that keep me coming back ... with a vat of kettle corn and awaiting the maelstrom of reactions.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 15, 2009 11:55 AM GMT
    Typically, I get so many e-mails that a few of the ones that I would normally intend to respond to end up rolling back a page or two and get forgotten. When I open half a dozen "'sup bro?", "unlock you pvts please" and the usual hate mail, I don't have the enthusiasm to click through the rest. So when I do find a nice normal e-mail when I clear them out every couple weeks, I usually will not respond because the guy is already going to think I'm an asshole for waiting two weeks.

    And like Jaqueesha, sometimes I am able to spot an epic personality incompatibility just by reading a persons profile or their posts. I also keep notes in the notes section of a person's profile and a link to the thread if they demonstrated that I will not like them in their posts. So often, I will get an e-mail, check their profile and the notes, remember I do not like them and delete the e-mail without responding.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jul 15, 2009 12:06 PM GMT
    Now Jack... you've never ignored my e-mails.... LOL

    icon_biggrin.gif

    Seriously, I can understand that occasionally. I try and send a message back to most to contact me, but sometimes it can be a little odd. I had a gentleman who wanted me to add him to my yahoo chat. I must have received 5 or 6 e-mails... "you haven't added me to chat yet, is there something wrong"? "I want to talk to you".

    Most are very complementary and I appreciate it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 15, 2009 12:12 PM GMT
    Oh come on GS, the hate mail is what gives you the strength to live.

    icon_rolleyes.gif

    snuggles
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jul 15, 2009 12:39 PM GMT
    lilTanker said

    You've ever right to ignore a message, just because they have sent a message to you does not mean you have to respond.. gawd knows, I've sent a message to some people, got no response and then read more of what they've written on the forum and been incredibly grateful they haven't responded..


    Next time I write you, I'll just start by saying "Meanie Ben, your going to ignore me, but".... LOL

    jk

    icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 15, 2009 12:48 PM GMT
    HndsmKansan said
    lilTanker said

    You've ever right to ignore a message, just because they have sent a message to you does not mean you have to respond.. gawd knows, I've sent a message to some people, got no response and then read more of what they've written on the forum and been incredibly grateful they haven't responded..


    Next time I write you, I'll just start by saying "Meanie Ben, your going to ignore me, but".... LOL

    jk

    icon_biggrin.gif

    well you'd better or I'll ignore your arse icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 15, 2009 12:53 PM GMT
    I respond to every email.

    I even get the occasion lets have sex email. I simply reply that I am in a wonderful relationship and you'd be surprised just how nice and understanding people can be if you don't make them out to be a monster over a slight misunderstanding. Remember that over the internet, where you can'st always tell what someone's tone is, its very easy to be offended by something perhaps was never meant to be offensive at all.

    One guy for instance wrote me the other day saying 'hey lets have meaningless sex sometime'.

    Many of you know by how much I talk about it that I am in a relationship.

    I personally couldn't get upset because my profile is practically blank so how could he have known I was in a relationship. But I told him so very nicely and he kept writing back anyway.

    Just when I started to get slightly annoyed thinking that he was still pursuing me he sent me an IM. I shrugged, I didn't know if I should respond or not because I was afraid he may ask me again, so I accepted knowing that if he did i would have to nicely tell him I had to go. And instead of trying to see me naked or anything, he actually wanted to talk to me about a relationship issue he was dealing with.

    Turned out he'd read some of my post and saw that my bf and I were in a similar situation before we started officially dating. I'm just saying its ok to be selective but then you miss out on a lot of life's neat little surprises.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 15, 2009 12:54 PM GMT
    xrichx saidI find that removing face pics from your profile eliminates 99% of the annoying emails. icon_lol.gif

    Yes, that's one of my motives for having a scooter as my main pic, and my face pics are kept private for guys I trust. But then I do get slammed with ad hominem criticisms in thread debates for not having a public pic. On balance, I'll take the verbal hits and avoid the email ones.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jul 15, 2009 12:59 PM GMT
    Red_Vespa said
    . On balance, I'll take the verbal hits and avoid the email ones.



    Well not all of them... you still get them from me... LOL

    icon_smile.gif
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Jul 15, 2009 1:17 PM GMT
    You can forward your e-mails to me, dancerjack. I'll be your secretary and let you know when something important comes in. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 15, 2009 2:03 PM GMT
    ah...
    I don't get many emails icon_cry.gif
    or certainly not that experience from the ones I do get...
    I typically get the "unexpected, unsolicited" chat dialog box randomly opening up with some one I've never chatted with b4 on the other side.


    I'll still say, you can just say "thanks" to a simple compliment...
    I have gotten the "can you tell me your work out routine/diet/how'd you get ur abs"...
    I usually just say, "I just have learned to do what seems to work for me" and end it there - even if they don't, cuz - like DJ - I have learned the path this can lead to.


    But if you insist Jack, I'll stop asking how you look so good naked and detailing how I could more clearly access your body tone in person... Or did I mean to type assess?? icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 15, 2009 2:07 PM GMT
    HndsmKansan said
    Red_Vespa said
    . On balance, I'll take the verbal hits and avoid the email ones.



    Well not all of them... you still get them from me... LOL

    icon_smile.gif

    Yours are never a "hit" my love, and always welcome. icon_biggrin.gif