Erotic Story---Tell me what you think.

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    Jul 18, 2009 3:53 PM GMT
    I wrote this about 8 years ago and just found it again. It was on 3.5" floppy....LOL. Anyway, tell me what you think.

    It was the way the sweat trickled down his chest that made me do it. Until then, I had been controlling myself, acting cool. Witty.
    But, as Eric and I stood talking in the 100-degree heat with the sun beating down and the humidity rising like my pulse, I lost it.

    He had been on the side of the road, running a Weedeater, wearing only a pair of construction workers boots with his white socks shoved down onto the tops, and a pair of dark blue soccer shorts, the kind that shimmer in the light. I had stopped in my jogging on the pretext of seeing how his older brother was doing at college, and how Eric himself was doing since the divorce. Eric just turned 18. Barely. I had seen him out with his Mother and older brother, celebrating just the weekend before.

    As we stood talking about sports, his summer job, his Dad and just joking, the conversation turned to his physique. Snuck up on me, at that. I don’t think I lead the chat that way. I’m pretty sure. But we were talking about weightlifting, vitamins, health clubs and then muscle magazines. I always wear mirrored dark sunglasses and he couldn’t tell the whole time I had been checking his body, watching the youthful muscles flex under dark tanned skin. Eric was the only blonde I ever knew that could rival me for a dark tan.
    As my eyes were enjoying the visual feast, my ears began to tell my brain that maybe I should listen in….
    “....and soon I was getting turned on by it!” he almost whispered.
    “By what?” Shit, I really need to pay attention!
    ”The ads. They have them in the back of the magazines. All homoerotic depictions. Almost like they mean to turn you on with the guys and the poses.”
    “Homoerotic? Where did you get that idea?” “Health Class.”
    “Your health class discusses homo-eroticism in men’s fitness magazines?”
    “No, Ron, …we, uh, ….it’s come up. Among my buddies. We’ve noticed that the magazines all seem to have ads with guys posing in skimpy outfits or only a small towel covering them, posing seductively.”
    ”Sex sells. Especially to men.” “Yeah, but why are there usually only guys in the ads looking so sensually into the camera. My buddies say all the models are gay. I mean, this is a man’s mag. Where are the babes?” He was getting redder and it wasn’t from the sun.
    “Which would you as a young man who works out rather look at….some muscled-up dyke-ish broad with biceps bigger than yours? Or some guy wearing a weight belt or a wrestling singlet and that you can imagine looking like?” (I was headed down a dangerous road here… and just then it happened. The bead of sweat. It was tracing its way slowly down his thick neck muscle and across collar bone and raced down between his firm pecs and disappeared behind the elastic of his shorts. Damn lucky sweat bead!}
    He took so long answering that I thought maybe I’d crossed the line.
    “Guys.” “Well, there you have it. Sex sells.”
    “So I guess I’m gay.” Here, I almost spit out the soda I had been sipping! “Why do you say that?!?” “Because, I get so turned on by the ads. Now you must think I am gay.”he said turning away from me.
    Taking him by the shoulder. “Are you?” Silence. Then, “No. I don’t think so. Hell, I don’t know!”
    “And so what if you are?” I asked, taking off my shades and looking him directly in the eyes. After what seemed like minutes he said “I’ve noticed how you look at me.” No emotion. Dammit, I wasn’t as cool as I thought I was! “Do I?” “Yes, you do, Ron.” Now a slight grin. “I’ve noticed since you hired me to mow that old lady’s yard, the one you could have easily done yourself.” “I’m busy and I have allergies. But that’s beside the point. Does it make you uncomfortable? If so, I apologize, Eric. But you have a great body.” “At first it made me uncomfortable. Before I began to have these feelings..” “What feelings?” (Lord, I hope nothing interrupted the conversation now!) “I wonder what it would feel like…”
    “To what?” “I’ve noticed that you have a good body for your age” he said with a sly grin. “Thanks, I’ll have that engraved on my tombstone.” “I’ve seen a lot of guys your age at the “Y” and none, Okay, few are in the shape you are in.” “Just how old do you think I am?”
    ”I know how old. 40. I asked my mother.” “And you are more than half my age younger, Eric.”
    “Is that a problem?” “A problem for what?” “To show me how it feels.”
    ”How it feels to be 40?” I was making him say it. “Dammit, Ron, I know you are gay and I know that you know now that I am…er, I think I am…oh HELL!” He was clearly red-faced now. “I know no such thing, Eric. I make no assumptions until someone tells me. And you would be wise to do the same. Have I told you that I am are gay?” Clearly embarrassed now, he stammered. “No, it’s just.. I mean, I’m not… I thought… I’m not….Oh FUCKIT! I’m not ga
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    Jul 18, 2009 3:56 PM GMT
    Oh FUCKIT! I’m not gay!” “Shhh. Calm down. Now, let’s walk into your back yard before anyone besides the people in the next town hear us.” He nodded and we walked onto the sundeck around the pool. He sat on a lounge chair by the waters edge. I waited. He wouldn’t look at me for a long time, but stared into the water. Finally, he said: “Since I was about 15, I’ve had these feelings. I see an older guys jog by or at the gym, pumping his biceps or pecs and I have the urge to have him take me and just hold me. And lately, when you’ve stopped by on your jogs to talk I have the urge to kiss you.” He was still looking into himself in the pool reflection.
    “It gets ever worse when you have that dark tan like now and wear those shorts you have on now.”
    I said nothing. He looked at me with red-rimmed eyes “You’re not gay are you. I just ‘outted’ myself to you and you aren’t even gay and now you’re disgusted with me!”
    “Eric, stop that. I’m not disgusted with you, man. I’ve known you since you first moved here 10 years ago and you came Trick or Treating. I’ve grown very fond of you. You’ve grown into a fine young man, honest, trustworthy, decent. There is no way I’d ever be disgusted with you. Even if you did find out that you are gay. And just between you and me and the lawn chairs…I’m not gay, I’m bisexual.” His face brightened some. “So you like pussy and dick?” “I don’t lean that way much anymore, but I’ve slept with a number of women. I like to think I am more ‘pansexual’.” “Pansexual. Yeah, we talked about that in health class, too. Show me, please?” I got up, walked over to his chaise lounge, took him by the chin and leaned over close to his face. “Maybe. In time. If that is indeed what you decide. Now, let’s change the subject before your Mom comes home from work and wonders what the hell is going on here.”
    Staring at my crotch, he said “Mom’s outta town for two days” and he buried his face into my navel. All of my self-restraint was on a fast train outta there! I pulled his face up, bent over again and kissed him lightly on the lips. He sucked in air harshly. He kissed me as my hands began to explore that magnificent hard young body I had only until then imagined feeling. My imagination needs an upgrade! It didn’t do him justice: Tender, yet muscled and hard. Smooth, yet electric at the same time. He was grasping my thighs and kneading my asscheeks, and I stopped, looked into his blue eyes again and saw the sign I wanted to see “Go! Do not stop!”
    I knelt down between his legs, running my hands down his chest, across his tight abs that had been honed for hours at the gym, and now trembled as I touched them, and I kissed them. He moaned softly. I leaned him back on his chaise and began to kiss him lower and lower and soon was near an area where it seemed a small animal was struggling to get out of it’s nylon prison. So I let it out. It sprung up like a jackrabbit on crack! Sweet Jesus, I never see another cock I can die happy! It was glorious! The boy was perfection personified. Eight inches with a broad mushroom head, every vein pulsating with his heartbeat, a small bead glistening on the tip, so tan, so hard, so eager…. so, let’s eat!!
    I took just the tip in my lips and he moaned louder, his hips flexed and soon there was a wonderful sensation of saltiness in my mouth! Sweet, salty, creamy jiz…the life spring of mankind!…rolling out of him like a high-pressure fire hose, wave after wave until I thought he might shrivel up and blow away. Then, complete collapse. He fell back on the chaise, but his cock was still quivering. Cum oozing out the head. I licked that off, too. He shuddered and yelped “OH GOD!” when I did. “Fuck! That feels incredible. I’ve had blowjobs before from some cheerleaders, but I always have to finish by hand! You made me cum with just your lips! Damn, you are incredible!”
    ”Thanks, Eric, but you’re young, you could get off in a stiff breeze.”
    He looked at this cock that was still being a good soldier standing at attention, then to me and said “Get up.” Oh here we go. Post-coital guilt. “I thought you wanted to learn?” I said. Eric said “I do, stud. I just want to strip off and get in the pool before we both have heat strokes!” He stripped as he talked and his ass was as magnificent as his cock. One could weep when they saw it. Or bite on it and pray for lockjaw!
    He saw my eyes locked on his ass and said “After a cooling swim, Ron. Then, I want you to teach me everything you know.” “About Quantum physics?” “Fuck you!”
    ”Yes, I think you just may be allowed to do that, my fine young friend…indeed you shall!”
    “Good! I want to. I need to! Now…get in the pool. I want to return the favor you just did for me.”
    I did as he said. Even though I cannot swim. After all...who was going to be swimming!!

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    Jul 19, 2009 3:30 PM GMT
    Well, I think that was pretty good! Sustained my interest, had a plotline, distinct characters, and was well-written.
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    Jul 19, 2009 3:42 PM GMT
    Thanks! I may post a few more, once I get them retyped. (The format wasn't "Word" convertible and I'm not a fast typer.)
    I've been told I should sell them to a gay mag.
  • Medic911

    Posts: 152

    Jul 19, 2009 3:45 PM GMT
    Nicely done. Had me smiling, and even a little chuckle, then rock hard near the end and wanting more.

    If only, if only...


    icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jul 19, 2009 3:52 PM GMT
    Medic911 saidNicely done. Had me smiling, and even a little chuckle, then rock hard near the end and wanting more.

    If only, if only...


    icon_biggrin.gif


    Thanks, budd! I try to leave the reader something to the imagination at the end.
    I think I would have written one about you, Medic, If I'd run into you at some point. All of my stories have an element of truth to them....some less than others..LOL
    One I did was about a guy I saw in line at Wendy's for less than 5 minutes...but he inspired a story.
    I've been "writing" one in my head about the "hot daddy who always wears a wife-beater" that lives up on the next block...hehehe.He smiles that smile at me one more time while all tanned and sweaty after mowing his yard....you may read about me in the Police blotter. icon_twisted.gif
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Jul 19, 2009 8:20 PM GMT
    Here are some tips for fictional writing
    It's a good story

    acting cool. Witty.
    What is that exactly? .... you need to explain

    Eric himself never use this expression ...... it's a double double

    Eric just turned 18. Barely.
    Snuck up on me, at that.
    ….it’s come up. Among my buddies. Frags

    listen in…. To what?

    (I was headed down a dangerous road here… Try not to use parentheses in a fictional work

    “So I guess I’m gay.” Here, I almost spit out the soda I had been sipping! “Why do you say that?!?” Each character's speech or thoughts are put into another paragraph

    “Eric, stop that. I’m not disgusted with you, man. I’ve known you since you first moved here 10 years ago and you came Trick or Treating. I’ve grown very fond of you. You’ve grown into a fine young man, honest, trustworthy, decent.
    The last part has a lot of discussion and movement but you lose the description that you had in the beginning

    Good sex stories esp written in the first person make you feel like you are right there
    Use sayings like
    .... He kissed me so hard that.....
    His hand touching my (Put your fav body part here) felt like ....... icon_wink.gif




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    Jul 19, 2009 8:47 PM GMT
    Ok, Teacher. Stop with the red pencil! LOL


    I wrote that 8 years ago. I think I've improved some. :-)


    Begging to differ: SOME people do talk in fragmented sentences.
    Trying to make it realstic, here.... I'm not writing War & Peace icon_neutral.gif

    I didn't have WORD back then and the program I used really sucked as to spacing, paragraphs, etc. especially when converted to WORD.

    But thanks, GQ. icon_wink.gif
  • Rookz

    Posts: 947

    Jul 19, 2009 8:52 PM GMT
    Put this on nifty.org, that's where most of the erotic stories are stored.
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    Jul 19, 2009 9:16 PM GMT
    "ass cheeks" is not an erotic compound noun.

    I stopped reading about a third of the way through because I didn't find the story compelling enough to continue.

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    Jul 20, 2009 5:04 AM GMT
    GYMRAT711 has a pic up that fits ur story... ;)
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Jul 20, 2009 5:40 AM GMT
    "Snuck" is not a word.
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    Jul 20, 2009 1:15 PM GMT
    RST2009 saidGYMRAT711 has a pic up that fits ur story... ;)



    LMAO..he does, doesn't he? Too funny. Don't tell him. He might get offended. icon_wink.gif
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Jul 20, 2009 2:51 PM GMT
    StudlyScrewRite saidOk, Teacher. Stop with the red pencil! LOL


    I wrote that 8 years ago. I think I've improved some. :-)


    Begging to differ: SOME people do talk in fragmented sentences.
    Trying to make it realstic, here.... I'm not writing War & Peace icon_neutral.gif

    I didn't have WORD back then and the program I used really sucked as to spacing, paragraphs, etc. especially when converted to WORD.

    But thanks, GQ. icon_wink.gif


    But you get a big red star anyway
    sorry for the school marmish corrections
    It just reads better when you use the right form
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    Jul 20, 2009 5:01 PM GMT
    GQjock said
    But you get a big red star anyway
    sorry for the school marmish corrections
    It just reads better when you use the right form


    GQ, I wasn't upset at your comments. (We need more or better emoticons!) icon_exclaim.gif
    I was just having a back & forth with you. I've got thick skin, I can take it
    I was wondering if you were going to put me across your knees for using bad punctuation/grammar, though. icon_wink.gif
    But, I do appreciate the feed-back. icon_cool.gif
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    Nov 20, 2013 1:45 AM GMT
    i ahave written a wrestling story based on different but real hot matches I have had. anyone interested/
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    Nov 20, 2013 1:50 AM GMT
    What do I think?
    I am no longer 3.5" or Floppy.. icon_redface.gif
  • Oceans_of_Flo...

    Posts: 393

    Nov 20, 2013 2:40 AM GMT

    The first half really impressed me, you write good dialogue. I'd love to read something of yours where the sex never happens and is just teased in dialogue - well does happen, but in the fourth book. The sex parts kinds lost me, but only because I've had so much at this point in life and because tanned bodies turn me off. I like Tim Burton Movie aesthetics.

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    Nov 20, 2013 3:22 AM GMT
    At least it's not 50 shades of Boring uninspired grey.
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    Nov 20, 2013 11:13 PM GMT
    (I have meet online a 7 foot tall Brazillian 24 year old who wants to wrestle me. he has a foot fetish too. he is skinny and handsome. Here is a large part of my story, hope you all like it)

    Bruno, I wanted to talk to you about our wrestling match. This is how I see it.

    Bruno steps onto my wrestling mat barefoot. He is so tall, over 7 foot! He is good looking, skinny with a light muscular build. I Look at him head to toe and like what I see. His large bare feet stop walking as he lays down on the mat near me to stretch out, we are both bare four and bare chested, wearing only shirts. We both stretch out.
    I teach Bruno some cool Jiu-Jitsu wrestling moves. I let him work them on me to make sure he has them right. I teach him the rare naked choke or sleeper hold with s body triangle from the back, I show him how to get out if it. I also teach him the arm bar from dude mount, and how to get out of that. I keep thinking to myself, Bruno is such a tall good looking guy.

    I flex my chest muscles on Bruno a little as I flexed a wrestling move, he liked it and smiled.
    "Okay let's wrestle " ! Bruno says. "I want to wrestle until I am to tired to wrestle any more, we will wrestle for hours"!

    "Let's start on our knees my talk friend" I tell Bruno , "you are so tall, I do not want to slam you so we can wrestle" Bruno smiles and goes down to his knee, one foot is on the mat we both are like that, one knee down , one knee up so we can move fast.

    Bruno and I move in toward each otherworldly use our arms to start to push each other, I am more muscularly built and stronger than Bruno is, I keep pushing forward until Bruno falls backward. Soon I am pinning Bruno's back on the wrestling mat, he feels my chest muscles flex on top of his smooth skinned chest, then I quickly grab his left arm, sit up and back quick and make him tap and submit to me by using his free large hand to tap out on my left leg. " I am not done with you yet" I tease Bruno as I relax the arm bar, he steps tapping, then I pull back on his arm that I kept a hold of. raise my hips a little and make Bruno tap again. I do that several times, "I am going to bully you Bruno" I say, Bruno says,"bring it" I wrestle on top of Bruno holding his arm, as I sit up and into Bruno, as I press the back I'd his large arm against his chest. I turn Bruno slightly on his right dude, I wrap my arms around his neck fir a chick as I continue to press Bruno's left arm against his own throat to complete the choke, Bruno Taps out. I then Kay back with Bruno's left arm in an arm bar again, I do not tap him out but keep the arm bar tight. I keep my shin of my right legs pressed against Bruno"s left side to keep him licked and pinned down. I place my good looking left foot and place it firmly on the left side of My tall opponent's head. Bruno try's to wrestle out of it but he can not move. " I own you tall buddy" I taunt Bruno and slowly crank the arm bar, I do not make him tap, but I just work the punishing arm bar to make my talk good looking Brazilian jobber grimace in pain and discomfort from time to time. Then I relax my grip, Bruno grin's then I crank it and he grimaces. I start to rub my bare foot on the side of his head. Then I place my foot on his face and mouth ."like my foot" I order him to do, "no!" He says. I crank the arm bar to make Bruno submit, Bruno taps his submission but I do not let go, I keep cranking the arm bar and say," like my foot if you want me to stop!@" Bruno slaps his large bare feet on the mat but he is going no where, he keeps taping , then he says, "okay", Bruno turns his head toward me and I feel his warm tongue glide across the bottom of my foot as he likes it. I relax the arm bar, but keep it firm, not as tight as before. Bruno smells and Keri's liking my foot, near my sole and up to my toes too, " that feels so good" I tell him. He Keeps licking my foot.
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    Feb 24, 2014 1:22 AM GMT
    Part of a straight wrestling story...

    Matt and I have been talking about wrestling for a couple of weeks. Finally we meet on my wrestling mats on the 2nd floor of my large, two car garage. Matt Talked about how he likes to be manhandled or a jobber. He promised me he would do his best to fight back. He knows I will be rough on him, but no injuries, no broken bones. I warned him if we wrestled as long as we planned he would be soar for a few days afterward. He seemed to view hour’s long, Multiple Submission match as a worthy challenge. After all we are not fighting, just wrestling, and finally my tall, skinny smooth skinned 19 year old teenage jobber walked op with me to my small MMA Gym. “Please take off your shows before getting on the Matt.” I reminded Matt, as I bent down to take off my sneakers and socks before walking barefoot on the wrestling mat. Mat, bent down and did the same before his large, good looking, smooth white size 10 feet stepped onto my wrestling mat. Again, Matt is 19 year old, he stood at 5’9” tall, Very skinny, thin arms, he weighed only 120 lbs. I weigh 174 lbs., I stood at 5’7” very strong, with 8 years of Jiu-Jitsu wrestling under my belt. I have a well-defined upper body build, very strong legs too. I take off my shirt and flex my large chest muscles as I start to starch out. Mat grins and takes off his shirt to reveal a smooth, flat chested body. I could tell he liked to look at my muscles, I grinned and smiled back at him. We both stretched for a good few minutes. We both took a quick sip of water, then we were hungry to wrestle.
    I lay down on the Mat and learn forward to stretch out my legs one last time. “Haven’t you stretched out enough/” Matt asked as he works a rare headlock and wraps his long thin legs around my waist. Matt surprised me but I had no trouble in turning on top of him, wrestling out of his combo body scissors/headlock move and I soon had him under me. It was the first and last wrestling move he had made on me in our hours long wrestling match. He tried to wrap his legs around my waist but I stopped him from getting me in his guard. I wrestled on to his left side as I pinned him down. My right knees near his left hip. My left near his left shoulder. I pressed my chest down on his chest as I pinned him solidly on the wrestling mat. I had my left arm under his head, my right arm grabbed his right wrist which I pressed down. His thin arm and elbow tried to resist but I easily overpowered him down. I took my left arm from under his head, and forced it under his triceps muscle as I locked my left arm over my right wrist. I slowly raised his tricpe and thin white arm up as I dragged his wrist on the wrestling matt toward his feet. He quickly used his left arm to tap his submission on my left shoulder. I relaxed the move then cranked it again, Matt tapped his submission again. I wanted to work my skinny teenage jobber like a Professional wrestler would but for real. I would keep working over each body part with all the jiu-Jitsu style submission wrestling moves and a few Pro-style moves too. I wrestled over Matt until I was facing his arm from the topside I kept one hand on his right shoulder and I had my left hand pinning his wrist down. Like a Pro-wrestler I had seen on TV, I had drilled a few Knees strikes onto Matt’s right arm, over his Bicep and the side of his shoulder. With each knee strike Matt cried out, “Ow’, “Ow”, ‘Ow”. Then I wrestled to the back side of Matt’s arm and drilled three more knee strikes to Matt’s under arm working his tricep muscle.
    Matt grimaced in pain as I rolled him over his left side, As I grabbed his arm, put on foot over his chest and my other foot over his neck, his right arm trapped in my arm bar as I laid back on the matt, pressed my hips up toward the skylight and felt Matt tap his submission on my left leg. I relaxed the arm bar and then pulled back on his arm and raised my hips several times for multiple arm bar submissions. Just for the fun of it, I placed my left foot on the side of Matt’s smooth skin but sweaty face as I worked two more arm bars on him. Then I wrestled on top of matt, pinning his thin chest on the matt, Matt soon felt my chest muscles flexing on his back and shoulders. I wrapped my strong legs around his body for a tight body scissors and worked my arms around his neck for a rare naked choke. I squeezed the rare naked choke harder, Matt could not breath and I felt him slap the fronts of his bare feet to signal his submission, (he could not move his arms, I had them pinned underneath him). I rolled over so my back was on the wrestling mat. I could see Matt was getting turned on as I was with all of the body contact. Matt soon felt my hard on pressing against his lower back. We both agreed it was natural to get turned on while wrestling, we would just keep wrestling, no sex the way we liked it. I cranked my body scissors together around Matt’s waist making it a little tougher for him to breath. I loved to outwrestle and stay on top of Matt using my wrestling skill. I liked to bully and over power mat using my strength and size advantage. I also loved to use my weight advantage and feel Matt’s smooth skin under my muscular body as I often kept pressing my body and weight down on my tall teenage jobber. I loved working him over, making him submit but also making him labor to breath, tiring him out more as I worked him over. Every 30 seconds I would slowly crank the rare naked choke.(sleeper hold) harder and harder as I also cranked the Body scissors I had wrapped around his waist as hard as I could, then relaxed it a little but kept both holds firm and tight. Every 30 seconds I forced my skinny opponent to submit to my tight rare naked choke/body scissors combo. I kept doing that for at least 15 minutes straight. Then I uncrossed my ankles and replaced the tight Body scissors with an even tighter Body triangle across Matt’s waist and stomach as I crossed my right leg and knee over my left leg near my left knee. My body triangle was so tight Matt stopped struggling, when I turned my right foot slightly to the side to crank the body triangle as tight as I could get it, Matt would submit just to my body triangle! I had so much fun making Matt submit by taking turns between doing the following; Cranking just the rare naked choke and feeling him submit to me, cranking the body triangle only, and my third fun choice, cranking the are naked choke and Body triangle at the same time!


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    Feb 24, 2014 1:24 AM GMT
    Webster666 said"Snuck" is not a word.


    http://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/american-english/snuck?q=snuck
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    Feb 24, 2014 1:48 AM GMT
    Sweetooth said
    Webster666 said"Snuck" is not a word.


    http://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/american-english/snuck?q=snuck

    I see how you snuck that into an old posting...very good icon_smile.gif
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    Feb 24, 2014 3:03 AM GMT
    I'll wait for the movie.
  • jo2hotbod

    Posts: 3603

    Feb 24, 2014 3:41 AM GMT
    It was good, you got to add to it now.