And, I'll say it one more time. It's time for you to take control of those digits, and to say "I will not eat myself to death." It's really THAT simple. You can wrap it in bullshit all day long, if you want, but, the bottom line is that your brain runs your digits. When your brain takes control of your digits, you'll make progress.
We all have our baggage. I hope that, for your sake, you'll enter whatever program and stop the bullshit and execute a plan for success.
To be honest, the bottom line is to keep bad food out of your mouth, to exercise, get positive, and to learn what it is to feel good. YOU HAVE TO LET A PLAN WORK. It you keep defeating them, you'll continue to fail.