We've met before?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 20, 2009 10:05 AM GMT
    So recently I signed back up to one of the online sites, mostly because I haven't had sex in a timeframe I would prefer not to mention icon_confused.gif Anywho, twice today I've had guys contact me and commenting on how they like my profile (read: pictures) and both were guys who I had had some form of contact with previously. Both had no recollection whatsoever.

    It was the second guy who kind of annoyed me. He was all chatty and flirty, and I realised he had no recollection of going on a date with me at all. So I asked him how work at the restaurant was going and he asked how I knew what he did. I told him we had been on a date a year or so ago and how he had never replied to my SMSes or online messages afterwards. At first he was "are you sure it was me?" and when I told him where we had gone out, what he was studying and where he was working at the time, he was finally "oh, that vaguely rings a bell". He then said "well, that was around the time I was coming out and I was studying." Now, I was tempted to send a message back saying "well, doesnt mean you have to be a cunt" but I took the higher road.

    So, my question is: has this happened to you, where you have met a guy on a date or whatever, for whatever reason it doesn't work out, and then later on he recontacts you not realising you've met before? If so, how did you deal with it?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 20, 2009 12:12 PM GMT
    I truly have to tell you, absolutely nothing like this has happened to me ever.

    I also know 100% we have never been out on a date.
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    Jul 20, 2009 12:16 PM GMT
    matey saidI truly have to tell you, absolutely nothing like this has happened to me ever.

    I also know 100% we have never been out on a date.


    Oh good. I'll sleep well tonight, then.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 20, 2009 12:43 PM GMT
    I've forgotten chats with guys I met only online. But I'd have to go way back to forget going on a date. You certainly don't seem like the kind of guy who would be easily forgotten. icon_wink.gif
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    Jul 20, 2009 1:15 PM GMT
    My ex brought home some guy we met at a concert (I think it was Flaming Lips) one night, and then the guy showed up at our door the next evening with a bag of clothes.

    We took him to our friends' house. From there we called him a cab and basically shoved him into it when the driver arrived.

    A few months later, I was at the gay bar and this guy I didn't recognize kept glaring at me. Finally near the end of the night, I realized it was the hook up from the concert.

    I think I had blocked him out though after he had shown up announced on my door step like he was moving in.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 20, 2009 1:20 PM GMT
    What is wrong with people? icon_smile.gif

    I can understand not recognizing someone. Perhaps your online profile pics have changed or the other guy goes out on too many dates.... but Ganymede0's story about a hookup showing up the next day with a bag of clothes is just too much!

    Perhaps therapy should be subsidized. This is getting out of hand.
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    Jul 20, 2009 1:27 PM GMT
    SeaSon saidWhat is wrong with people? icon_smile.gif

    Ganymede0's story about a hookup showing up the next day with a bag of clothes is just too much!


    Maybe he just saw how awesome my washing machine is. icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 20, 2009 1:31 PM GMT

    "It was a deja fuck!"

    sexcity-samantha.jpg

    icon_cool.gif
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    Jul 20, 2009 1:36 PM GMT


    10 points syd_hockey79, this:"He then said "well, that was around the time I was coming out and I was studying." Now, I was tempted to send a message back saying "well, doesnt mean you have to be a cunt" but I took the higher road."

    ...classy. Just what either one of us would do and have done in the past. Shows you don't hold a grudge.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 20, 2009 1:39 PM GMT
    i may not remember every detail from conversations i've had, but i've never forgotten people i've been out with altogether.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 20, 2009 2:14 PM GMT
    No, can't say it has ever happened to me. I hear it happens to lots of guys though.

    The guy was just not into you
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 20, 2009 2:53 PM GMT
    I can honestly say I've never forgotten a face I've met in person. However, if it is just casually chatting online, and lots of time goes by, and people without pictures pop back up and say "Hi - do you remember me?"

    I have to say no...

    This is kind of inline with Syd's second guy who got annoyed. I find that some take it super personally... but then again I'm of the thought that since we haven't met face-to-face --> how am I supposed to remember a name without a picture??

    Common, not all of us have photographic memories!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 20, 2009 2:56 PM GMT
    It's happened to me a couple times before. There was guy that didn't believe it until I told him what his bird's name was, the route he told me he drove from Wisconsin to Seattle, what his degree was in, what color he had painted his bedroom, his obsession with Annie Lenox and a dozen other details. Then he had the nerve to be offended that I didn't want to go on another date with him because he couldn't be bothered to remember me after six months. In fact, the other guy that had forgotten me and wanted to hang out with me again got very defensive and downright angry when I didn't want to see him again. Seriously, if you didn't have enough fun with me the first time around to remember me, why the fuck do you want to go a second round?

    I think it's just poor taste and grossly inconsiderate not to remember someone. I might not immediately place a name or face, but even if it was the most boring date of my life, I will remember a plethora of little details as soon as I put it together.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 20, 2009 3:18 PM GMT
    jprichva said
    GuerrillaSodomite saidI think it's just poor taste and grossly inconsiderate not to remember someone.

    Funny scene from The Goodbye Girl:
    A woman and her gal friend are working out in a gym. The friend says, "I ran into Bill the other day."
    The woman says, "Um, Bill...Bill...?"
    The friend prompts, "Your ex-husband?"
    The woman relaxes. "Oh, right. The marriage slipped my mind."


    LOLicon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 20, 2009 6:18 PM GMT
    A huge pet peeve of mine.
    I would meet someone I have seen at the gym at a party or some other social function, rarely at a bar or club. I normally would be introduced by mutual friends and we would have a pleasant conversation. Then the next Monday I would see that same person at the gym and go up and start a conversation and he would look at me as if I just pissed on his leg.
    This would happen more times than not. That is when I realized that the gay culture isn't as inclusive as it claims to be.
    Thus was my introduction to my place on the D list.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 20, 2009 6:33 PM GMT
    yeah it has...i can understand that but what pisses me off is what you wrote
    " " how he had never replied to my SMSes or online messages afterwards"
    What is up with that? . That happens to me., ..absolutely no feedback after a date...and then when they hit you up again they act all oblivious to the fact. If you pursue the matter they say you not chill. Is it now standard procedure to not contact someone after a date and just move on to the next fella in line? Or are all theses guys all on drugs that erase their brains?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 21, 2009 12:12 AM GMT
    Entirely true he wasn't into me, and to be honest I wasn't 100% into him but we had a common love of movies, and I thought that at least a movie buddy or friendship would have been nice. Alas, no.

    I s'pose what annoys me is this tendency for gay guys to reject you outright if they either dont want to sleep with you or have a relationship with you. If you get on well and have things in common, what's the harm in staying in touch? Oh well, such is life.
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    Jul 21, 2009 12:30 AM GMT
    Let me top that.....

    A couple of months ago I was out with friends. This guy approached me in a gay bar and started hitting on me. I thought he was joking so I laughed and said "very funny (name)". He looks stunned then asks how I know his name. I thought he was joking so I laughed. But...the bewildered look on his face quickly told me otherwise. So I said, "How do I know you? From, I don't know, the previous 9 dates we had when we dated four years ago dumbass!" Still looking confused, I had to CONVINCE HIM that we dated by telling him his life story.

    Now granted, I was about 75lbs heavier back then. But my face didn't look THAT much different. icon_rolleyes.gif

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 21, 2009 12:43 AM GMT
    My memory sucks...but, if we fucked, the only reason I wouldn't recognize you is blindness.......icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 21, 2009 12:47 AM GMT
    jp930 saidLet me top that.....

    A couple of months ago I was out with friends. This guy approached me in a gay bar and started hitting on me. I thought he was joking so I laughed and said "very funny (name)". He looks stunned then asks how I know his name. I thought he was joking so I laughed. But...the bewildered look on his face quickly told me otherwise. So I said, "How do I know you? From, I don't know, the previous 9 dates we had when we dated four years ago dumbass!" Still looking confused, I had to CONVINCE HIM that we dated by telling him his life story.

    Now granted, I was about 75lbs heavier back then. But my face didn't look THAT much different. icon_rolleyes.gif



    I'd take it as a compliment. The fact that you lost so much weight as to affect the symmetry of your face (for the better in most cases) is just a testament to your success. This sounds a lot more kiss uppy than I intended but whatever.

    To answer the OP, I've never had that happen to me and I definitely don't forget the faces I've seen, even if I may not remember the name.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 21, 2009 12:48 AM GMT
    Unmentionable frame of time eh...maybe the next topic should be how long is the longest you've gone without sex.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 21, 2009 12:56 AM GMT
    i suppose that's better than hookups "remembering how awesome the sex was" and they keep coming back for more ... while you wish they'd remember how poorly they performed and that they'd go away.
  • nadaquever_rm

    Posts: 139

    Jul 21, 2009 1:35 AM GMT
    LMAO! Maybe you should stop putting out.icon_wink.gif
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Jul 21, 2009 8:14 PM GMT
    It can happen to the best of us icon_confused.gif

    I was at a gym I don't go to much anymore
    and I saw this guy looking at me
    He was kind of cute but he looked familiar
    and he kept looking and looking

    and I'm wracking my brain trying to think how I knew this guy

    and On my way home I remembered

    icon_eek.gif I had Sex with the guy ..... it was many years ago but it was def him

  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jul 21, 2009 8:30 PM GMT
    Well it speaks volumes if you go out on a date in the relatively recent past and the guy not only doesn't remember much about the date, but doesn't even remember you. Talking about a contrast, you listened, and were aware enough to talk details.
    I'd have been impressed... and certainly if the guy doesn't remember a thing, it wouldn't be a positive... at all.

    While it hasnt' happened to me, I have had guys who have been a little bent out of shape that I can't remember a online conversation that I may have had with them some time ago. Never met them, it may have been superficial.. .. I sort of dismiss that kind of criticism.

    But a date is different. The exception is if you dated him years ago and you just didn't recognize a picture or the event.