I am in NO way trying to down play the importance of being tested OR the importance of safe sex. However, my frustration is the lack of true knowledge in our community on the subject.
HIV must be transmitted from the infected person to the recipient via a cut, and open sore, a wound. The reason why anal sex should be protected is not simply because semen enters the body. Semen or blood, MUST come in contact together. For example, a bottom has a much much greater chance of being infected by a top because he has a greater chance of bleeding.
In the 70's and 80's we did not know anything about this. Drug use was very high in the gay world, especially then. Sharing needles contributed as much as barebacking, or even our clinics and hospitals. Imagine... blood was not being tested for HIV/AIDS. Minor surgury could spread aids then.
Oral sex, safe? If you so choose, you can swallow semen of an infected person without harm. Your stomach acid protects and kills it. And there are NO documented cases of infection from precum. NONE! This is ALL contigent upon NO open mouth wounds.
My doctor is very cool, and we have talked at length about this. He simply told me "use your head". Wrap it, and dont have oral sex with someone if you have an open cut in your mouth or just had your teeth cleaned.
Lastly, he told me that most, not all, HIV infected people today are undetectable. That is a whole other subject, as they have less a chance of infecting someone simply because the have fewer than 50 parts in their blood.
Again, dont hang me. Im NOT trying to advocate unsafe sex. Im simply saying get educated and be safe. Then there is no worries.
Here is a great article he shared with me. Its worth the read.