Nice Guys

  • Joeyphx444

    Posts: 2382

    Jul 21, 2009 7:47 PM GMT
    Hey guys, I was just wondering if there any genuine nice guys out there? I mean it seems like every guy wants and thinks about sex 100% of the time. I just seem to have more control and would like to see a guy talk about more than sex and there is so much more than sex.

    Why does sex have to be a gateway to becoming bfs? (As some guys have told me). icon_mad.gif

    I am a nice guy. I am not a sex pig, I don't do rude things, I don't drink nor smoke nor do any drugs. I take care of my body and eat right. It seems like a lot gay people who have bfs are the opposite of me, Is it possible to be too different? Or too "nice"?
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Jul 21, 2009 8:00 PM GMT
    Why? Nice guys don't like sex? icon_neutral.gif

    Wow, I'd always thought I was nice
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    Jul 21, 2009 8:14 PM GMT
    I hear you muscle33,

    I am also a nice guy who doesn't care all that much about sex, but the connection. I have the capability of being devoted to someone, but there is always that fear that it would get taken advantage of. I wish I could meet a guy like you jmuscle33 icon_smile.gif
  • TallGWMvballe...

    Posts: 1925

    Jul 21, 2009 9:53 PM GMT
    Of course there are plenty of nice guys out there.
    Thinking of sex is not a bad trait that negates being a nice guyicon_smile.gif

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    Jul 21, 2009 9:59 PM GMT
    True, Hard core, Genuinely nice guys finish last whether anyone wants to admit it or not.

    People want a rebel, that spontaneous bad boy that makes them feel not so much like themselves.

    In short, you have to work harder than many other people do. It sucks, but thats just how it is.

    to answer your question though. There are plenty of other nice guys out there. But I've found that many nice guys rarely go for what it is they claim they want in a man.

    For example, my bf was a nice guy. He chose me to chase for a year while turning down countless guys who he claimed, 'liked him too much'.
  • TallGWMvballe...

    Posts: 1925

    Jul 21, 2009 10:11 PM GMT
    Halfstep, I think that is the exception not the rule.

    I am a very "nice guy" that holds out for what I am looking for which is another nice guy that is loving, sensitive and still does OK in our society.
    Some nice guys do just fine and do not finish last icon_smile.gif

    -- Ron
  • Joeyphx444

    Posts: 2382

    Jul 21, 2009 11:02 PM GMT
    Yah, I don't just settle for less or anything. I know what I want in a guy and it may be down to the specifics but that's the way it is. I know it makes it harder though. I'd rather wait a while for the great guy to come rather than have a bunch of mediocre, disappointing bfsicon_razz.gif
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    Jul 21, 2009 11:36 PM GMT
    Hey, Little One, you're only 19. Not every 19 year has the same maturity level as another. Some guys think part of being gay is sex with strangers, and so on.

    Hold your ground, you'll be fine.

    Eat, lift, do your cardio, do your job / school and you'll be fine. Sometimes, you have to wait for the folks around you to catchup.

    Like yourself. You don't need the approval of the pack. There's nothing wrong with having some self-discipline.

    Sex is often over-rated.

    It's o.k. to have some common sense in your life.
  • EricLA

    Posts: 3461

    Jul 21, 2009 11:41 PM GMT
    There are nice guys, Jmuscle. They aren't always easy to find, especially when younger. Guys of any age can be ruled by their hormones.

    If that's not you, don't feel like you need to change. You just need to keep searching for the guy that's the right fit. You'll start to figure what to look for and what to ask up front to filter those other guys out, but you have to be patient.
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    Jul 21, 2009 11:58 PM GMT
    I will take building a lasting friendship over building a booty call list any day. I am a nice guy.
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    Jul 22, 2009 12:03 AM GMT
    I heard they finish last...So I've been trying to strike a balance between being nice and being a push over
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    Jul 22, 2009 12:07 AM GMT
    I know what you mean MsclDrew. We nice guys need to stick together.

    Don't worry Jmuscle33, there are nice guys out there–they're just harder to find.
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    Jul 22, 2009 12:13 AM GMT
    i sooo agree with the original poster...and to make it worst..the nice ones are always overlooked.
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    Jul 22, 2009 12:20 AM GMT
    I am a nice pig.
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    Jul 22, 2009 12:26 AM GMT
    very few "nice guys" actually exist.. most "nice guys" are just pretending.
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    Jul 22, 2009 12:29 AM GMT
    Perhaps you should stop spending your time comparing yourself to other people and just get on with your life?
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    Jul 22, 2009 12:31 AM GMT
    Gosh sex does not rule my life I do. Once I realised sex did not = love, I have had total controle, and that has now been, for more than half my life now.

    But I'm forgiven for my early transgressions, considering I had a catholic terrorist for a mom, and when I was molested at 5. I conceived this to be tender touch; love if you like. Now I know it was nothing but abuse!

    But then, many here would say I'm not a nice guy because I may seem to have diffrent political allegiance to another, or because I don't accept all things gay as being good. But then that's debate and being able to see both sides of the fence, and only I know were I stand.

    But the real world out here, does tell me weekly, I am one of the good guys.

    The reason I have two long term relationships, is because the foundations were built on something other than sex, something more lasting.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 22, 2009 12:42 AM GMT
    Jmuscle33 saidHey guys, I was just wondering if there any genuine nice guys out there? I mean it seems like every guy wants and thinks about sex 100% of the time.

    I think you've provoked a few questions here.

    What is your definition of a "nice guy"? What is a "not nice guy"?

    Does thinking about sex make a guy not a nice guy, or just thinking about it too much? At what percentage does it become too much?

    I'm not trying to antagonize you, I'm genuinely curious about your views on this.

    I know that I'm a genuinely nice guy, but admittedly, I also think about sex now and then. icon_eek.gif
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    Jul 22, 2009 1:15 AM GMT
    Of course there are nice guys out there but everyones idea of nice is subjective. You just have to know where to look. Being nice isn't just about sex it's how you treat other people. The problem is most guys your age don't think with the head on their shoulders only the one between their legs....the power of raging teenage hormones.
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    Jul 22, 2009 1:28 AM GMT
    Halfstep saidTrue, Hard core, Genuinely nice guys finish last whether anyone wants to admit it or not.

    People want a rebel, that spontaneous bad boy that makes them feel not so much like themselves.

    In short, you have to work harder than many other people do. It sucks, but thats just how it is.

    to answer your question though. There are plenty of other nice guys out there. But I've found that many nice guys rarely go for what it is they claim they want in a man.

    For example, my bf was a nice guy. He chose me to chase for a year while turning down countless guys who he claimed, 'liked him too much'.


    Yeah it seems to be the case, having a big heart means carrying more weight which slows us down during the race. Causing us to finish last in the race.

    That's why I say instead of joining a race why not go fishing? icon_wink.gif


    To the OP: Honestly just be the observer and you will eventually find out who's a nice guy and who's not. But I think instead of searching for "nice guys" you should be looking for the "Good guys", there's a difference.

    Give it time...
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    Jul 22, 2009 1:55 AM GMT
    WolfRain saidThat's why I say instead of joining a race why not go fishing? icon_wink.gif

    Can i carry your tackle?? icon_smile.gif
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    Jul 22, 2009 1:58 AM GMT
    lilTanker said
    WolfRain saidThat's why I say instead of joining a race why not go fishing? icon_wink.gif

    Can i carry your tackle?? icon_smile.gif


    Tanker you could carrying anything you like, as long as you bring the wine or beer.icon_redface.gificon_lol.gif
  • scrumrob

    Posts: 92

    Jul 22, 2009 2:00 AM GMT
    Jmuscle33 saidHey guys, I was just wondering if there any genuine nice guys out there? I mean it seems like every guy wants and thinks about sex 100% of the time. I just seem to have more control and would like to see a guy talk about more than sex and there is so much more than sex.

    Why does sex have to be a gateway to becoming bfs? (As some guys have told me). icon_mad.gif

    I am a nice guy. I am not a sex pig, I don't do rude things, I don't drink nor smoke nor do any drugs. I take care of my body and eat right. It seems like a lot gay people who have bfs are the opposite of me, Is it possible to be too different? Or too "nice"?


    Even men I considered total jerks were nice to somebody. I always thought of myself as being a nice guy, and I really like sex. I've always been pretty laid-back, even tempered, polite, and not prone to yell, but it occurred to me one day that some of the men I broke up with thought I was an asshole. I didn't cheat on any of them, but realized that I did not and would not feel as strongly about them as they seemed to feel about me. I injured their hearts, I guess. When it happened to me, I didn't think of the man who dumped me as being a really nice guy although I didn't and don't hate him.

    Just be patient and don't let things get you down. You will find a mate maybe tomorrow, maybe some years in the future.
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    Jul 22, 2009 2:01 AM GMT
    Halfstep saidPeople want a rebel, that spontaneous bad boy that makes them feel not so much like themselves.


    Nope, I really don´t.

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    Jul 22, 2009 2:11 AM GMT
    WolfRain said
    lilTanker said
    WolfRain saidThat's why I say instead of joining a race why not go fishing? icon_wink.gif

    Can i carry your tackle?? icon_smile.gif


    Tanker you could carrying anything you like, as long as you bring the wine or beer.icon_redface.gificon_lol.gif

    icon_biggrin.gif deal, I'll bring beer and nibbles too, just in case we don't catch anything.