Prospect drops the bomb: "I am not a relationship kinda guy." Turn On or Turn Off?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 22, 2009 3:34 AM GMT
    I wonder??
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 22, 2009 3:41 AM GMT
    Turn on if you plan to be friends with the guy because it means that they can be your friend for a while before some man comes and interferes.

    Turn off if you like him more than just a friend. It only means that he wants to fuck endlessly and won't let u in romantically
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    Jul 22, 2009 3:58 AM GMT
    depends.. if he's a good lay or not.. but either way it's good that he's honest..

    Now, if he's a bad lay.. all good..

    If he's a good lay.. even better.. you've a good FB
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    Jul 22, 2009 4:09 AM GMT


    My response would have been...Who's lkn for a relationship, Now please I'm pressed for time let's fuck I have a date in an hr....LOL
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    Jul 22, 2009 4:52 AM GMT
    Depends

    If he gives you a woody easily, then go for it. You and him may like it a lot and want to do it again ..and maybe again........

    But a least you get the chance to connect with him and if he's a great guy, both of you will leave with good memories.

    That works in theory..lol
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    Jul 22, 2009 12:31 PM GMT
    Turn off
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    Jul 22, 2009 12:36 PM GMT
    Depends on who is interested in you right? For me its cyclical. After 2 years out of a LTR, Im tired of dating. Im a relationship guy by nature, and Id prefer a partner again. Someone to share my life with. The difference today vs years previous is that Im much fussier. Im not looking to just fill the other side of my bed. Ive become sort of a romantic I guess. I want to fill my life, my heart and soul. Until then.. Im single.
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    Jul 22, 2009 12:39 PM GMT
    He gets points for the honesty....

    ....but it's a turn off. Sure, we can still have sex, but my interest will wane. And I think I'm entitled to that. By teling me he's not the relationship kinda guy, he's letting me know it ain't going any further than sex.
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    Jul 22, 2009 12:43 PM GMT
    Oh man thanks for being so upfront and telling me...

    I usually don't bring it up until the third date but I'm not a relationship with a whiney little bitch kind of guy...but now that I know your not a relationship guy at all I don't even have to go there

    Such a relief
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    Jul 22, 2009 12:57 PM GMT
    he's honest. that's a plus in my book.

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    Jul 22, 2009 1:04 PM GMT
    Depends on whether that's an arrangement you can live with. You might be able to deal with it comfortably, knowing what it is, and get good things out of it, or it might make you miserable. I had a similar one that tore me up.

    This guy was coming out late, like I had done, at the time I met him. I fell head over heels for him, but he resisted a "relationship" because he wanted to keep his options open, and just have some fun first. I didn't want to lose him, and hoping he'd choose me when he was ready to settle down with someone, I accepted the role as best gay friend and occasional fuck-buddy.

    And we had great times together, not only just hanging around, but in bed, too. He didn't seem to fully realize that the whole gay community viewed us as a couple, and his frequent hook-ups with others looked down upon as cheating, even though I'd myself explain to them it was OK.

    Those other hook-ups killed me, I was so jealous, but I bit my tongue, only reminding him how to keep it safe. Because he told me about every one, asking for my advice, especially when they started to go sour, as they always eventually did, some quite dramatically bad.

    He used to joke that I was the only really good gay guy he'd ever met, the only honest one, the only one he could trust. But still he wouldn't make it official with us, and after 2 years I doubted he ever would. And in the meantime I was remaining monogamous, not intentionally out of loyalty to him, but merely because I'm unable to have more than 1 guy in my life. As soon as I'm involved with someone, even in this fucked-up way, I simply lose interest in other men, and therefore I was losing other opportunities, and precious time, when I wanted to settle down myself.

    So I finally moved away, and indeed, found someone else. And 3 weeks after I moved in with my new love, some 9 months later, this former BF phones and tells me he finally realized he's always loved me all along, and he was flying out to be with me, tickets bought and all. I tried to stop him, but the words to tell him it was too late failed me. I had to break the news to him in person, and he was devastated, feeling betrayed by me.

    And all I could do was remind him over and over again his words to me, spoken so many times by him to my own dismay: "I love you, but I'll never be IN love with you." And now he said he was in love, when it was too late.

    A tragedy of almost Greek proportions, and why I wouldn't do that again. If you're looking for a relationship, steer clear of a situation that ties you down, without being able to tie the knot (and no, not a BDSM double-entendre). A fuck-buddy, perhaps, a friend, but beware of your emotions, as happened to me. icon_sad.gif
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    Jul 22, 2009 1:08 PM GMT
    lilTanker saiddepends.. if he's a good lay or not.. but either way it's good that he's honest..

    Now, if he's a bad lay.. all good..

    If he's a good lay.. even better.. you've a good FB

    I am with him on this one .
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    Jul 22, 2009 1:51 PM GMT
    Red_Vespa saidDepends on whether that's an arrangement you can live with. You might be able to deal with it comfortably, knowing what it is, and get good things out of it, or it might make you miserable. I had a similar one that tore me up.

    This guy was coming out late, like I had done, at the time I met him. I fell head over heels for him, but he resisted a "relationship" because he wanted to keep his options open, and just have some fun first. I didn't want to lose him, and hoping he'd choose me when he was ready to settle down with someone, I accepted the role as best gay friend and occasional fuck-buddy.

    And we had great times together, not only just hanging around, but in bed, too. He didn't seem to fully realize that the whole gay community viewed us as a couple, and his frequent hook-ups with others looked down upon as cheating, even though I'd myself explain to them it was OK.

    Those other hook-ups killed me, I was so jealous, but I bit my tongue, only reminding him how to keep it safe. Because he told me about every one, asking for my advice, especially when they started to go sour, as they always eventually did, some quite dramatically bad.

    He used to joke that I was the only really good gay guy he'd ever met, the only honest one, the only one he could trust. But still he wouldn't make it official with us, and after 2 years I doubted he ever would. And in the meantime I was remaining monogamous, not intentionally out of loyalty to him, but merely because I'm unable to have more than 1 guy in my life. As soon as I'm involved with someone, even in this fucked-up way, I simply lose interest in other men, and therefore I was losing other opportunities, and precious time, when I wanted to settle down myself.

    So I finally moved away, and indeed, found someone else. And 3 weeks after I moved in with my new love, some 9 months later, this former BF phones and tells me he finally realized he's always loved me all along, and he was flying out to be with me, tickets bought and all. I tried to stop him, but the words to tell him it was too late failed me. I had to break the news to him in person, and he was devastated, feeling betrayed by me.

    And all I could do was remind him over and over again his words to me, spoken so many times by him to my own dismay: "I love you, but I'll never be IN love with you." And now he said he was in love, when it was too late.

    A tragedy of almost Greek proportions, and why I wouldn't do that again. If you're looking for a relationship, steer clear of a situation that ties you down, without being able to tie the knot (and no, not a BDSM double-entendre). A fuck-buddy, perhaps, a friend, but beware of your emotions, as happened to me. icon_sad.gif


    o wow!1 proving once again that guys don't know what the hell they want. good for you
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jul 22, 2009 2:00 PM GMT
    What makes it a positive or negative depends on what your looking for at that moment.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Jul 22, 2009 2:26 PM GMT
    I'd say, "define 'relationship'."
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 22, 2009 2:31 PM GMT

    LOL Zimmy, it's the same as the other shoe, " I am a relationship kinda guy."
    Turn on or turn off?

    For a lot of guys, a turn off. I always made it pretty clear at the get go that I was. Many walked away, and others told me to stop wearing my heart on my sleeve. Well, right. Except that two things happened.

    Guys into games and casual sex avoided me. (cool)

    Bill spotted that heart on my sleeve. (very very cool)


    -Doug

  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Jul 22, 2009 2:42 PM GMT
    if you're looking for a relationship, deal breaker.
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    Jul 22, 2009 2:45 PM GMT
    I would just respond by saying fine we can be friends "only". Which may have a longer shelf life anyway.icon_biggrin.gif
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Jul 22, 2009 7:38 PM GMT
    Turn on.
    Believe him.
    He's telling you the truth.
    Put the "U-R-Next" ticket machine out there and wait for somebody who deserves you.
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    Jul 22, 2009 7:50 PM GMT
    HndsmKansan saidWhat makes it a positive or negative depends on what your looking for at that moment.

    And what you're looking for may also depend on your assessment of the other guy. No matter how relationship-oriented you are, certain people will seem poor relationship material but highest-quality one-night-stand material.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Jul 22, 2009 8:10 PM GMT
    Oh that depends completely on whether he KNOWS he's a prospect or not

    If a guy said that and all he thinks is that I'm a friend or an acquaintance
    I would blink twice
    But if I dated him? Or had sex with him?

    Buh-bye!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 01, 2009 3:14 AM GMT
    Turn Off.
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Dec 01, 2009 3:25 AM GMT
    Turn off. But as others have said, a good opportunity for a platonic friend.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 01, 2009 3:46 AM GMT
    Turn off! when I met my boyfriend we went out a quite a few dates! we both opened up to each other from the very first date without hiding anything in our past before we got sexually intimate; that in turn gave us a better chance to know each other so as to avoid any such surprises as you stated in the long run. I give your date a plus for being honest with you. It is a big plus to have an honest person in your life whether you choose to having for a boyfriend or a friend, either way you will not loose! by advice is to keep him as a friend if he is not a relationship kinda of guy! good luck, I wish you well!!


    ♥ Leandro ♥
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 01, 2009 3:50 AM GMT
    If I meet him as a prospective boyfriend it's a total turn off.