The Art of Turning a FB into a BF

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 22, 2009 1:18 PM GMT
    In the past 3 weeks or so I met this guy online. I admit it was for sex. It was amazing even. Since then we have been hanging out for such adventures between the sheets a few times a week. I asked him on the first "hookup" if he was single and does he date. Yes and no was his reply. He is single, but he doesn't want to be tied down to dating someone. I was let down, and did not see us hanging out to much after that first time. Since then he has been the instigator of us hanging out and has even mentioned staying for movies and what not.

    I get the whole hookup thing. The quick and the dirty. I do get it! BUT, I'm completely interested in dating this guy. I need to learn the fine art of turning a FB situation into a BF situation.

    Any suggestions?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 22, 2009 1:23 PM GMT
    My post today on Zimster's thread may partly touch on this. Read his OP, then the others, and mine.

    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/597209/
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 22, 2009 4:31 PM GMT
    You cannot force someone to want to date you. I think the best the best thing is to make your intentions clear. Say, "The sex is great, and I really like you. If you want to go out on a date, I would like that." Just let him know that you are available to him for more than just sex. But, you have to be careful. The more sex you have with him, the more you can fall for him, and then it may just become too much as you might want it to develop into something it never will become. icon_wink.gif
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    Jul 22, 2009 5:10 PM GMT
    I donĀ“t know the secret, but my old FB is now simply a B, and actually I prefer it that way. We get on really well and will stay in touch. icon_smile.gif
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    Jul 22, 2009 5:22 PM GMT

    For a number of reasons, if he were BF material, he wouldn't be your FB.
    One problem in particular, he's tasting what the internet has to offer. I doubt he's ready to stop, especially because you were so good, awesome as you say. I'm betting he wants more awesome like that in the future, but different awesome. I bet he's on a hot streak. Don't be greedy, pay him forward; the internet gods will see to it, that a former fireball comes grinding to a hault near you....as long as you specify you want that in your profile text.

  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Jul 22, 2009 7:36 PM GMT
    Just keep doing what you're doing.
    He doesn't know it, but you're already dating.
    Just don't spoil it with flowers, cards, and candy.
    Pretend you're just friends and fuck buddies.
    Enjoy the times you are together, instead of wishing for more.
    I suspect he'll come around, sooner or later.
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    Jul 22, 2009 8:00 PM GMT



    My advice is this... WHEN SOMEONE SHOWS OR TELLS YOU WHO THEY ARE BELIEVE THEM! Don't get yourself wrk'd up it might only lead to disappointment. Your best bet is to ride the wave, enjoy the time and company and DON"T make yourself so accessible as he seems to be eating his cake and enjoying every bite. At some point the adult thing to do is put yourself out there and ask..IS THIS GOING ANYWHERE but at the same time remember what he has already stated....no ties. This is not to say that a relationship is not possible. I met my current bf thru Manhunt, what I thought was going to be a F**K session turned out to be a few hrs of chat and then a dinner invitation that same night. Not what I expected but I was OPEN to the possibilities. If he's not open, enjoy what he's capable of sharing now and if it's meant to be more it'll happen

    Best of Luck HILLIE
  • rnch

    Posts: 11525

    Jul 22, 2009 9:10 PM GMT
    Webster666 saidJust keep doing what you're doing.
    He doesn't know it, but you're already dating.
    Just don't spoil it with flowers, cards, and candy.
    Pretend you're just friends and fuck buddies.
    Enjoy the times you are together, instead of wishing for more.
    I suspect he'll come around, sooner or later.
    good advice! my FB slowly (over about 14 monthes) became my BF. although we both agree we can practice safe sex on other guys, neither one of us has the inclination to do so.
  • metalxracr

    Posts: 761

    Jul 22, 2009 9:20 PM GMT
    I think that if there is a connection, it will just simply happen. I think he may be into you and obviously you're into him. It will workout by itself if you guys just keep in contact and even hang out.

    I had been wanting to get with this one guy just as a FB and it lasted a while as just FB's. Eventually we developed a bond and then we developed feelings and then one day Bam! He asks me to be his Boyfriend! We still remain very close.

  • creature

    Posts: 5197

    Jul 22, 2009 9:23 PM GMT
    It already sounds like he may want to take it there based on his actions. My advice to you is to let him steer the relationship into boyfriend territory if that is what he wants.

    You will probably scare him off if you advance the relationship, rather than allowing him to get comfortable with each new facet of the relationship.

    Good luck.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 22, 2009 11:25 PM GMT
    thats just LOW.. I mean, thats like kicking the guy in the nuts..

    taking string free sex and making it complicated.. gawd.. NO.. screw him and toss him back into the crowd!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 22, 2009 11:28 PM GMT
    if u want to make him into your boyfriend you tie him up and put him in the hole in your basement. keep him there until he says he loves you.

    it works 9 times out of 10.

    that other one was unfortunate, but totally not my fault.
  • dannyboy1101

    Posts: 977

    Jul 22, 2009 11:46 PM GMT
    Add a little hard to get and he might just re-examine his feelings. If he thinks someone else is bidding on the house, maybe he'll bid higher faster.

    Or perhaps he's just a jackass out for using and losing you. In that case, you save yourself plenty of time, frustration, and unrequited emotions, all of which you can spend on the next dude in line.

    SUPPLY AND DEMAND... Supply excess of what he wants and he'll have no biting demand to fight for it. Good luck!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 23, 2009 5:07 AM GMT
    I totally understand what your going thur. I had a FB for 3 years. He was bisexual so it was kinda compilcated. One day he started acting werid and I never heard from him again. Maybe he found some other whore lol Let's be honest FB are not friends. They are only interested in sex. That's all they are good for. I would rather a one night stand than to deal with a FB.Besides it would have gotten boring in the long run. Trust me. He knew what I like but I just wasn't interested anymore. He started to want in when he wanted it like Comcast digtial cable and that ain't gonna happen.

    Just go out get laid and forget about that guy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 23, 2009 5:18 AM GMT
    he needs to be notebooked.. . if he hasnt seen the movie the notebook, then watch it with him. the movie makes you think you're in love with the person you're with haha
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19138

    Jul 23, 2009 5:25 AM GMT
    I'd say take it day by day, don't have any expectations, and just let yourself go with the flow at his pace and comfort zone for awhile. Don't make yourself "too available" -- especially since he's instigating. I'm not saying play games, but be a bit of a challenge for him. Whatever you're doing seems to be working though.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 23, 2009 5:27 AM GMT
    If you're happy to spend time with this guy, and don't mind waiting around forever despite the eventual result possibly being that you don't become anything more than FBs, then I say just go with the flow and let what happens happens.

    I had an FB who kind of elluded to something more serious, and that went on for 2 years. Right from the start, though, I asked myself would I be happy to be a year or two from the start and not be in a relationship with him? Would I see that as a waste of time? And given that I wasn't entirely sure I wanted somethign serious, I didnt see it as time wasted. So I was happy to be 'string along', so to speak.

    However, if you're intention is to try and hang around for the possible eventuation of a relationship, then you either need to put your emotions in check or stop seeing this guy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 23, 2009 6:09 AM GMT
    tommysguns2000 saidif u want to make him into your boyfriend you tie him up and put him in the hole in your basement. keep him there until he says he loves you.

    it works 9 times out of 10.

    that other one was unfortunate, but totally not my fault.



    BWAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!! icon_twisted.gif

    Turning a fb into a boyfriend?? The guy stated his position plain and clear. You want it to go further, then you'll just have to be patient. If you manipulate him then you're just going to piss him off.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 23, 2009 6:18 AM GMT
    tommysguns2000 saidif u want to make him into your boyfriend you tie him up and put him in the hole in your basement. keep him there until he says he loves you.

    it works 9 times out of 10.

    that other one was unfortunate, but totally not my fault.


    I sooooo can't wait to see this hole of yours!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 24, 2009 2:52 PM GMT
    Thank you all for commenting on this subject.

    I'm not gaga over him, I just think we could work well together as BFs. Though I don't know how that all works anyway as I've not had a relationship so far in my life. We get along well and as I've stated, our sex is out of this world. He agrees with me. He says he still needs to go out and have fun cuz he is 30 now and he doesn't wanna be tied down. Not that I agree with him, but I see where he is coming from. Look what we did, its not like I'm preserving myself for "The" guy.

    I'm going to continue to FB with him since its super. Totally protected though, I know the risks. Hopefully he will come around. We'll see what sex and movie night brings us icon_biggrin.gif

    Thanks again. Though keep up with the advice its great!
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19138

    Jul 24, 2009 2:55 PM GMT
    Onetoughguy said
    I'm not gaga over him, I just think we could work well together as BFs.


    This rings sort of off to me. If you're "not gaga over him" why would you even want him as a boyfriend? It sounds a bit desperate to me -- like you would be willing to settle for someone you're not gaga over just because you want a boyfriend.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 24, 2009 2:57 PM GMT
    It wouldn't be settling. I do like him and he is worth it completely. I'm just not going to be obsessed with him is all.