Manhunt (etc.) conduct.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 22, 2009 1:52 PM GMT
    It sucks.

    So the other day I connected with a guy online. We spoke by phone and made arrangements to meet for lunch. We both understood that if there was chemistry, we could go slowly (not have sex right away and wait for the next time we see each other) OR jump right into it and get down n dirty.

    During lunch, he was constantly checking his phone.......texting........walking away from the table and chatting with someone (s).

    The next day, he called me to invite me to his house for dinner and to spend the night. I told him "I wasn't feeling it". He wanted to know why. I told him that his phone shenanigins turned me off.

    He told me I shouldn't take online sites too seriously. And I guess I do, compared to most guys, because no matter the nature of the site, I still expect RESPECT.
    .
    When we meet or have a date, your attention should me on ME and mine on YOU. Don't depersonalize "us" by saying "Don't take this too seriously". Even if its "only" about sex.

    To me, even if the guy is really hot, there ain't going to be sex if I don't like you.

    Comments?







  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jul 22, 2009 1:58 PM GMT
    Absolutely you did the right thing. The cell phone texting would have been a turn off for me as well. If he isn't going to give you the time during a meal......forget it.

    When you first meet someone, its all about getting to know the other guy (whether as a potential hook up, friendship, whatever). It a positive thing to connect.... what this ass seemed to say was he was interested in connecting with others as well.

    Look for someone else (and maybe on a better place than "Manhunt")
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    Jul 22, 2009 2:16 PM GMT
    HndsmKansan saidAbsolutely you did the right thing. The cell phone texting would have been a turn off for me as well. If he isn't going to give you the time during a meal......forget it.

    When you first meet someone, its all about getting to know the other guy (whether as a potential hook up, friendship, whatever). It a positive thing to connect.... what this ass seemed to say was he was interested in connecting with others as well.

    Look for someone else (and maybe on a better place than "Manhunt")



    Thanks for you post buddy.

    I hear what you are saying about manhunt.

    I guess my point was that even if it is supposedly a sex hookup site, there still should not be that standard ditzy (and expected) kind of behavior that depersonalizes the whole experience.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 22, 2009 2:24 PM GMT
    Yep, if he can't pay attention to you rather than cell, dump him.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 22, 2009 9:10 PM GMT
    Keep hookups for Manhunt and Manhunt only... (unless you truly hit it off with someone and end up dating after sex. Don't go looking for anything more than sex on Manhunt though.

    There are plenty of other dating sites that are free actually (okcupid fo example) or you could do it the old fashion way and meet people in person at various events/places.

    For all you know this guy could have been setting up another hookup after your get-together with him.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 22, 2009 9:19 PM GMT
    bigstockphoto_hammer_striking_nail_w_spa


    You hit the nail on the head, that guy was a LOSER!
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Jul 22, 2009 9:22 PM GMT
    The Manhunt thing had nothing to do with it ... the guy was rude and obnoxious

    ..... and that he then called you back and said you should take these online sights seriously

    You should have said
    No It's YOU I'm not taking seriously
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 22, 2009 9:25 PM GMT
    Let him get down and dirty with the phone if he finds it so compelling.

  • UFJocknerd

    Posts: 392

    Jul 22, 2009 9:30 PM GMT
    Manhunt's weird. Where I did my undergrad, everyone had a manhunt account and it was great for meeting cool guys. I met a guy I dated for 2 years on manhunt. Apparently that was an aberration; everywhere else it's pretty damn skeezy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 22, 2009 9:33 PM GMT
    "He told me I shouldn't take online sites too seriously. "

    That´s correct: don´t take the site seriously. However, you should take PEOPLE seriously, regardless of where you meet them.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 22, 2009 9:35 PM GMT
    I agree completely. When on a date, your focus should be on your date and your date's focus should be on you. That means don't check out the waiter or the guy in the table in front, don't tune out, don't text anybody, do not pass go, do not collect $200. It seems too many people are busy with themselves and have not learned the fine art of listening to others!
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    Jul 22, 2009 9:41 PM GMT
    KissingPro saidIt sucks.

    So the other day I connected with a guy online. We spoke by phone and made arrangements to meet for lunch. We both understood that if there was chemistry, we could go slowly (not have sex right away and wait for the next time we see each other) OR jump right into it and get down n dirty.

    During lunch, he was constantly checking his phone.......texting........walking away from the table and chatting with someone (s).

    The next day, he called me to invite me to his house for dinner and to spend the night. I told him "I wasn't feeling it". He wanted to know why. I told him that his phone shenanigins turned me off.

    He told me I shouldn't take online sites too seriously. And I guess I do, compared to most guys, because no matter the nature of the site, I still expect RESPECT.
    .
    When we meet or have a date, your attention should me on ME and mine on YOU. Don't depersonalize "us" by saying "Don't take this too seriously". Even if its "only" about sex.

    To me, even if the guy is really hot, there ain't going to be sex if I don't like you.

    Comments?


    You have every reasonable expectation to receive the undivided attention of a potential business / life partner.

    Texting while in business meeting, or in a date, is beyond rude. If it's an emergency, the person should say so, otherwise, they need to let the other person know they're in meeting, and give you their attention.

    As we all lead our technological, compartmentalized, lives it can be hard to meet decent folks. Be patient.

    The guy deserved your response. Almost certainly, you can do better.

    You were on a date. He did not meet the standard of decorum that you were expecting. I wouldn't have anything else to do with the guy.




  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 22, 2009 9:42 PM GMT
    He was just rude and bad mannered. What a strange way for him to behave, some guys have no idea.
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    Jul 22, 2009 9:43 PM GMT


    I find these days, that guys seem to want to "keep their options open". Like "Yeah, I'll go out with you, but if something better comes along, I'm out".

    WTF?

    If you don't like me enough to want to focus your attention on me, then fuck off. I have better things to do.

    It seems to be all about instant gratification these days.

    I'll stop here.... before this turns into a rant. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 22, 2009 9:47 PM GMT
    If I went on a "date" with a guy and he was taking calls and texting, I would seriously just leave. That is the rudest thing to me. Rule of thumb, you should not take calls/text during the following:

    *Funerals
    *Movies
    *Weddings/Formal Events
    *Dates
    *Working out at the gym
    *Class
    *While having sex

  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19138

    Jul 22, 2009 10:23 PM GMT
    KissingPro said
    During lunch, he was constantly checking his phone.......texting........walking away from the table and chatting with someone (s).


    WTF? This is just crazy rude. Once he walked away from the table, that would have my cue to walk away from the restaurant.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 22, 2009 10:30 PM GMT
    CuriousJockAZ said
    WTF? This is just crazy rude. Once he walked away from the table, that would have my cue to walk away from the restaurant.


    I did that once. I met this guy for lunch and he told me had to take a call, in the middle of the lunch. He was gone for five minutes, so I took a peek out the door and there he was chatting it up and laughing with someone.

    So, I left money for my half of the bill and took off. I don't care how little chemistry he felt....it was incredibly rude.

    Also, I agree with others....whether you meet someone from a hook up site or not, there is no excuse for rudeness.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 22, 2009 10:39 PM GMT
    It should come as no surprise that on a site about dicks, you met .. a dick.

    As far as etiquette is concerned, I don't care if I just met you or have known you all my life - if we're hanging out and/or having a conversation, put the goddamn phone away.
  • sportsjockla

    Posts: 498

    Jul 22, 2009 10:47 PM GMT
    I take any date seriously. If they guy doesn't take you seriously no matter where you met.... forget him!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 22, 2009 11:01 PM GMT
    It could have been worse, He had have brought along his laptop and surfed Manhunt during lunch.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 22, 2009 11:16 PM GMT
    bleh.

    was the guy he was texting hot? did u even bother to ask? maybe there was a 3way in he works.

    dude, u blew it...
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    Jul 22, 2009 11:34 PM GMT
    Meh. So the guy was a dick. He was rude and obnoxious and all these other things that the previous responders have run into the ground. Here's my question: Why the hell do you care so much? I mean, it's pretty clear the guy's a douche, why then, are you wasting time on him and getting so worked up? Move on already.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 22, 2009 11:46 PM GMT
    HotToddy saidMeh. So the guy was a dick. He was rude and obnoxious and all these other things that the previous responders have run into the ground. Here's my question: Why the hell do you care so much? I mean, it's pretty clear the guy's a douche, why then, are you wasting time on him and getting so worked up? Move on already.


    why is the guy a douche? it is pretty clear how he viewed these type of meets. obviously the op took it more seriously than he did. it's all about expectations isn't it though? the guy's was met - the op's wasn't and so he now appears to be out of sorts.
  • outdoorjunkie

    Posts: 118

    Jul 22, 2009 11:53 PM GMT
    Blackguy4you said
    HotToddy saidMeh. So the guy was a dick. He was rude and obnoxious and all these other things that the previous responders have run into the ground. Here's my question: Why the hell do you care so much? I mean, it's pretty clear the guy's a douche, why then, are you wasting time on him and getting so worked up? Move on already.


    why is the guy a douche? it is pretty clear how he viewed these type of meets. obviously the op took it more seriously than he did. it's all about expectations isn't it though? the guy's was met - the op's wasn't and so he now appears to be out of sorts.


    I see what you're saying, but it has nothing to do with how he views the kind of meets. It's how he views basic personal interaction. It's just common courtesy to not treat people like that, hook-up scenario or not.

    I think anyone that treats people like that (in a one-on-one situation) is a douche.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 22, 2009 11:56 PM GMT
    The Irony in the OP...icon_lol.gif
    Don't go to a site made for purely sex if you want something more...duhicon_rolleyes.gif
    Plus we're in an age where just about everything is done through texting or through the phone. If it turns you off maybe you need to find someone without a job & friends...icon_lol.gif