"GAYISMS"

  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Nov 28, 2007 9:22 PM GMT
    "Gayisms": I always find them a little perplexing at times. Gay friends make comments to me that leaves me wondering.... a couple come to mind... both said within the last couple of weeks:

    1) "You are the straightest gay man I've ever met"

    2) "Oh now we see the chink in the armour... you are gay" (when viewing my decorated home at Christmas)

    3) "The total package" (What do they know about my packaging??)

    What gayisms do you find funny, amusing or a little irritating? And what do they mean?
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    Nov 28, 2007 10:45 PM GMT
    "you don't sound gay"
    "i can talk to you about it, 'cos you're gay"
    and my favourite "it's such a waste that you're gay"

    these things always makes me cringe icon_confused.gif
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    Nov 28, 2007 10:47 PM GMT
    ...but you don't look gay!
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    Nov 28, 2007 10:52 PM GMT
    "Oh! I looove gay men!!!" squeals the straight woman...
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    Nov 28, 2007 10:53 PM GMT
    My gay friends call me a "bad gay" coz I have straight male friends and do things like extreme sports...
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    Nov 28, 2007 10:58 PM GMT
    "Did I do something wrong?"

    Usually from mothers when their sons come out.
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    Nov 28, 2007 11:07 PM GMT
    In the same vein as TigerTim's comment, how about those gay guys who don't believe your straight friends are actually straight. I mean really, we're not supposed to get along with straight men, so they *must* be at least a little gay, right??? icon_rolleyes.gif

    My poor straight buddies suffer intense scrutiny for any sign of gayness when we're in mixed company.
  • liftordie

    Posts: 823

    Nov 29, 2007 1:58 AM GMT
    straight women....you are too HOT to be gay!! WTF???
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Nov 29, 2007 2:08 AM GMT
    "You're gay, :sigh: what a waste."

    Excuse me?
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    Nov 29, 2007 2:10 AM GMT
    "You're not really gay... you were probably molested as a child."

    "You're too cute to be gay."

    "You don't look gay."

    "You're gay? So, you hate women?"

    "Oh, we're talking about cars, something you gay guys don't understand."

    "You just think you're gay because you haven't had the right woman yet."

    "Is it normal for my husband to want me to put my finger in his ass during sex, or does that mean he's gay? I figured since you're gay, you'd know..."

    "Oh I've got this gay friend in (some city clear across the country that I've never visited) named John... do you know him?"

    Ad nauseum...

    Always irritating and always an opportunity to skewer them with words and a smile... icon_twisted.gif
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    Nov 29, 2007 2:11 AM GMT
    "oh, you're gay? that's cool"

    it's the way they say "cool". it's never a statement, it's always half a question, with a definite fade in volume as the word "cool" is spoken.
  • liftordie

    Posts: 823

    Nov 29, 2007 2:16 AM GMT
    'you're gay?? oh that is such a waste' trust me ladies it has NOT BEEN WASTED !!!!!!!!!!icon_cool.gif
  • mv03

    Posts: 201

    Nov 29, 2007 2:17 AM GMT
    "My friend is gay" (He lives half-way around the world)
    "How do you know you're not into women if you've never had sex with one?" (Ick)
    "So then do you have AIDS?"
    "You must love the locker room then" icon_eek.gif As much as I wish the locker room was like an ass buffet, it's not.)
    "Why do you like titty bars then?" (I just do!)
    "So then you have a lot of sex, huh?" (Not so much)
    "You're going to hell" (Take that gavel you're judging me with and shove it up your cunt.)
    "You've had sex with all your friends then, right?" (Not at all)
    "Can you do my hair?" (Yeah, I'll shave it)
    "Your parents must be mortified" (Nope)

    I never get any of the good ones, LOL.
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    Nov 29, 2007 2:17 AM GMT
    "oh, you're gay?? I have this really cute friend who's gay - I should set you up!"

    Umm, NO THANKS.
  • liftordie

    Posts: 823

    Nov 29, 2007 2:20 AM GMT
    'u must hate women then' no actually i was married to one for 4 years thankyouverymuch!!

    'can u decorate my apartment' fuck i cant decorate mine!!!

    'u just havent met the right woman yet' nor the right man either lady!!

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    Nov 29, 2007 2:41 AM GMT
    Lots of stereotyping for gay men for sure. So you like towear dresses? NOT
    I do think we tend to age better than straight men...the last college reunion I went too the football jocks looked old!
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    Nov 29, 2007 2:51 AM GMT
    Ever wonder why every time this subject comes up, it becomes a way of informing everyone else how un-gay you seem?

    I'm sorry to break this to you, but straight people have learned to say this shit in the way they learn any other cliche. They've learned that many gay men take great pride in not being "clockable."
  • liftordie

    Posts: 823

    Nov 29, 2007 2:58 AM GMT
    i disagree. i am always amazed when a straight girl/woman hits on me. what?? are u headless???
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Nov 29, 2007 3:02 AM GMT
    OW - or they don't know any gay people in real life and assume we're all flaming marys.
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    Nov 29, 2007 3:03 AM GMT
    Native Dude--

    That's not just a gay thing. When I moved to Richmond Virginia from New York City a long time ago I was continually asked "Oh my friend's daughter Bobbie Jo lives in New York City, do you know her?"

    Like it's some rural hamlet. icon_smile.gif
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    Nov 29, 2007 3:15 AM GMT
    "You cant be gay ... you are just a closeted straight guy" (weird?)

    "You are just gay cause you haven't found the right woman yet"

    Straight friend: "so, why aren't you like the rest of the gays, why don't you hang out with any hot chicks/models" ?

    A straight guy hitting on a female friend in a club. After they get to the dance floor, he asks: "What? That guy is gay? No way, he is lying just to stay with you in the same hotel room and watch you undress" ... LOL

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    Nov 29, 2007 3:21 AM GMT
    I'm not talking about hitting on you before they know you, Liftordie. I'm talking about the language that follows it, the usual "what a waste" or "you don't act gay," etc. It's predictable. Everyone here has heard basically the same reaction at one time or another.

    Those are cliches that many gay men enjoy hearing because they think it signifies their not being stereotypical. But it's really naive not to realize that those comments are a kind of conditioned stereotypical response themselves.

    It may well be that they don't know any other gay men, Timberoo, but isn't it amazing how absolutely predictable the response is -- as if it's flattering not to be "clockable"? And in my experience gay men lap that up like it's a compliment.

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    Nov 29, 2007 3:21 AM GMT
    I once got hit on in a bar by a woman. when I told her I was gay I got the "what a waste comment" to which I replied that I thought it was a waste her very cute boyfriend was straight. It was the last I ever heard from her.
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    Nov 29, 2007 3:35 AM GMT
    What's "clockable" mean?
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    Nov 29, 2007 3:38 AM GMT
    Clocking is an old term for being able to identify a fellow homo.