And the thing is, this is a relatively new problem because internet porn hasn't really taken off for more than I'd say five years (in terms of how much is out there, how many 'straight guys will do it!' sites; which really says a lot about how much other gay bodies disgust us)...while we claim over and over that being gay means being free, liberated, without rules and able to express oneself, by popularity of such sites (straight college jocks, military studs, etc.) it seems as if, in fact, gay guys DO want rules, they DO want 'real guys', they DO want all those things that we've said for years were not part of our 'culture'. I think it's burnout on the 'same 'ol, same 'ol' gay stuff - $500 sunglasses, designer outfits, wondering if Cornelius' brown shoes match his chocolate brown socks or not - that sort of mentality which is a major turnoff for those who are seeking someone traditionally masculine - which most of us are. Problem is that when God created gay guys, he did create sexual ORIENTATION, but that doesn't do much good if everyone is orientated towards guys but the guys who are available for us are not what we prefer. If everyone acts, dresses, looks, talks, walks, and (sexual position preferences) wants the same thing, well, frankly, what the hell good is that? It's no different than a bunch of suburban straight women in the same place together - great to talk to each other, but that's about it.
I'm sure 'versatility' is true and out there, but most of the guys I've known who claim this are in relationships that are over within six months because the truth is that if they were to tell the truth (they're bottoms and have zero interest in topping anyone) they'd never find anyone). I've done years of thinking on this one and refuse to go through life with six month relationships for the rest of my life (and six month relationships where I feel like 'this is as good as it's gonna get so I might as well try to be happy)....no thanks! This is not about monogamy as much as it is about lack of choices. Gay men barely make up 2-5% of American males in society - sorry, that's just not enough. It's a sizable number in some cities, but for everyone else, it's just not enough to select from where we feel like we are seeing some variety and diversity. Instead we see so much of the same thing, repeated in city after city to the point where it doesn't make a difference where you live because you're going to see the same thing. I wish more guys would come out. And if this is all there is, then I'll be the first to say it - I wish more guys were gay because I hate this selection. This is not what I was expecting to choose from at all. And despite what a lot of guys say about age, I didn't see much difference at 18 than I do now, except at 18 a lot more guys were doing drugs and becoming HIV+ as I am sure they still are today.
As far as internet porn, all I can say is it's out there. People are going to do whatever they want. It's no secret that with the anonymity and irresponsibility within the gay community, there's nothing stopping guys from doing whatever they want. That was the great thing about being gay - remember? No rules? We get to do what we want? Not so great if you are looking for a serious, adult relationship with a future. These are skills that you kind of have to have developed over the course of adolescence and adulthood. They don't just magically show up the minute you meet the right person. And that is why our relationships will (almost) always be in trouble after a short period of time. We never learned how to grow up because nobody ever said we had to.