Can you tell a guy is gay from his relationship history?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 30, 2009 6:33 PM GMT

    I tend to think that there are 3 types of straight guys:
    a) Those who consistenly have long term relationships with women with reasonable breaks.
    b) Players. Well.. guys who consistently have sex with different women whenever they get a chance.
    c) Geeks. Straight guys who don't have sex because of insecurity reasons with their looks, abilities, etc.

    Everyone else stuck in the middle - Gay!

    Does anybody agree?

    Here's a case-study:
    Jock type male in his 20's. He has 'dates' with women maybe 4 or 5 times a year and it never progresses to anything. He claims to have sex with women twice a year (two nights two different girls) and never calls them back for more.
    He's had one long term relationship that happened way in the past. He's always single even though women throw themselves at him all the time. He's outgoing, always at the clubs and at times he makes out with a girl he'll call back maybe once again for a dry date. He's very dependent on his guy friends, almost as if he gets with girls just enough to get validation from his buddies.

    What do you think?
  • EricLA

    Posts: 3461

    Jul 30, 2009 7:23 PM GMT
    Could be. But he could just have low interest in women, whether low sex drive or for whatever reason. Maybe he's perfectly content with the action he does get. Maybe he has low self-esteem. There could be dozens of reasons. Given your case study there's nothing really there for me to think the guy was gay.
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    Jul 30, 2009 7:26 PM GMT
    Doesn't scream gay to me. It just seems like he's socially screwed up. That's not specifically an issue of sexual orientation.

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    Jul 30, 2009 8:01 PM GMT
    I used to behave like my case-study before I came to terms with being gay.
    I had maybe 2 meaningful relationships with women and I met up with a lot of them at the clubs and such.
    The major hint for me is the lack of bonding with women. It's always cold and distant if you're a gay man playing straight both in a relationship or a in a hook-up. Until you break gay eventually..

    I think of it as a process: decreasing interest for women over time means gay..!
  • UFJocknerd

    Posts: 392

    Jul 30, 2009 8:20 PM GMT
    RJnewlyaddict said
    I think of it as a process: decreasing interest for women over time means gay..!


    Um, no.

    It's fully possible to be outgoing and sociable, but have relatively little interest in dating. I know a guy like that; he's holding out for a girl who can keep up with him, not being a closet case.

    The last sentence of the original post sounds like projection to me. icon_smile.gif
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Jul 30, 2009 8:28 PM GMT
    No. That's like saying there are 3 types of gay guys: those who have boyfriends, those who don't want boyfriends, and those who can't get boyfriends. All the rest are straight. I don't think it works that way.
  • rogi305

    Posts: 6

    Jul 30, 2009 10:04 PM GMT
    ONE WORD...FAG!!!icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 30, 2009 10:24 PM GMT
    I tend to think that there are 3 types of gay guys:

    a) Those who consistenly have long term relationships with men with reasonable breaks.
    b) Players. Well.. guys who consistently have sex with different men whenever they get a chance.
    c) Geeks. Gay guys who don't have sex because of insecurity reasons with their looks, abilities, etc.

    Everyone else stuck in the middle - Straight!

    ------

    Sorry, couldn't resist. While I see your point, I assure, off the top of my head I can think of 3 guys I know who are as straight as they come and are "stuck" in the middle or hop from category to category depending of, I don't know, the seasons?

    On the other hand, perhaps these kind of gay guys trapped in the middle might very well be a subcategory of all those trapped in the middle.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 30, 2009 10:42 PM GMT
    Let me introduce you to the wonderful world of nerdom.

    We come in all shapes and sizes. We participate in every event known to man from dungeons and dragons, to band, to football and basket ball and rugby.

    Some of us are ugly, some of us are handsome and some of us are flat out sexy.

    some are virgins, some get non stop pussy and or dick.

    now what I'm getting at is that if the list of different types of geeks and nerds are so endless, what makes you think you define the heterosexual male by 3 categories?