breaking virginity?? ouch!!! how?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 02, 2009 8:12 PM GMT
    Hay guys, i am new to this forum. Need some adv ice and help. I am 26, gay bottom, and a virgin. :-(
    Anxiety is my main problem. Does any body know how I can get a safe one night stand. totally detached just to break my anxiety? Or wt can i do?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 03, 2009 12:13 AM GMT
    Why do a safe one-night stand? Why not find someone you're totally into who'll go through the process as slowly as you want?

    I never understood the one-night stand...
  • nadaquever_rm

    Posts: 139

    Aug 03, 2009 12:14 AM GMT
    1st: you say you're a virgin, but what does that mean? No oral? No frot? No anal? What have you done?

    2nd: you say you're a bottom, but as a "virgin" are you sure or are you just bottom-curious?

    Your answers to these questions will affect the approach you take. I felt like you before I bottomed, but at the same time, I had already slept with lots of guys, so it wasn't as hard to keep the emotional connection to a minimum.

    There's no way to be completely safe. I'd recommend finding someone to fool around with a couple of times first. This will allow you to build a little trust. Ask him about his sexual history, have sex during the day so you can inspect while you play. Then, if you feel safe around the guy, go for it, but use a condom.

    One last thought, it sounds like you're asking about how to find someone more than how to get topped. Is that really what you want to know?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 03, 2009 12:26 AM GMT
    Codeman7 saidWhy do a safe one-night stand? Why not find someone you're totally into who'll go through the process as slowly as you want?

    I never understood the one-night stand...



    DUDE! I totally hear you on this.. When someone wants it to be special or wants to be treated right, I don't understand the one night stand thing... icon_confused.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 03, 2009 12:33 AM GMT
    nadaquever_rm said
    Your answers to these questions will affect the approach you take. I felt like you before I bottomed, but at the same time, I had already slept with lots of guys, so it wasn't as hard to keep the emotional connection to a minimum.


    ...do all virgins get emotionally attached to their 'first?'

    That's what most of you make it seem like... but I find it hard to believe.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 03, 2009 12:45 AM GMT
    Here

    http://www.realjock.com/MadeNUSA
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 03, 2009 12:56 AM GMT
    [quote][cite]nadaquever_rm said[/cite]1st: you say you're a virgin, but what does that mean? No oral? No frot? No anal? What have you done?

    2nd: you say you're a bottom, but as a "virgin" are you sure or are you just bottom-curious? [quote]

    I have had oral. I have also fooled around. But I was only 14 back then. And more later but 16 was the last. Those experiences and the way i generally feel about men makes me feel like a bottom. I just dont feel topping to any person male/female apealing.



  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 03, 2009 1:00 AM GMT
    Codeman7 saidWhy do a safe one-night stand? Why not find someone you're totally into who'll go through the process as slowly as you want?

    I never understood the one-night stand...


    Well it is the anxiety of not being comfortable with not very well knowing what you might expect. Basically I want to know wt I am doing before I meet the special person. u might not agree but do u understand why now?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 03, 2009 1:02 AM GMT
    Homolicious said

    ...do all virgins get emotionally attached to their 'first?'

    That's what most of you make it seem like... but I find it hard to believe.


    In theory, I'd say yes they do to a degree. I mean this person is breaking the tie that binds you to your former sexual life, (which we all are straight by default) and ushering you into your future sexuality. I don't care how you slice it, that is a big deal. Gays these days hate to be mushy, they wanna "man up" about everything.
    That is what this post sounds like, very mechanical, like a man looking for tools for yard work. I don't mean to scare the op, but I could understand how his attitude could lead to a virgin getting an STI right out the gate. If he's downgrading himself and his situation into just sex, nothing important, there are manipulators out there who would exploit that to the fullest. Ouch indeed, this doesn't have to hurt.

    Being a *** ***, myself, I think no bottom should fuck right away, they should start slow and see if they enjoy all of the trappings of gay sex first: how they feel the morning after...how do guys respond to them? Before they fuck, they should definitely get a feel of what kind of gay man they are so they can design that first anal session to suit them. What I mean is, with a couple kissing sessions, oral sessions, manual manipulation sessions, you'll see if you are an emo gay, if you need the top to stay the night, if you are even feeling the need to bottom or if you'd like to top, or if you really feel detached, self sufficient, and couldn't care less if the top gets dressed and leaves right after he cums or not. Do not sacrifice something you can't get back until you know what kind of gay you are.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 03, 2009 1:07 AM GMT
    Heyy Dood, Imma Virgin And I Agree With the First Dood Im Waiting For The right Guy Who I Can Trust Ya Know Alot Of PPL are impressed when you ssay im a virgin
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 03, 2009 1:11 AM GMT
    LukeKnights saidHeyy Dood, Imma Virgin And I Agree With the First Dood Im Waiting For The right Guy Who I Can Trust Ya Know Alot Of PPL are impressed when you ssay im a virgin


    But I am 26.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Aug 03, 2009 1:19 AM GMT
    I can understand not wanting your first to be a major relationship, but I'd advise you to find someone you like who will be patient and kind sex, not just some random one-nighter.

    I remember the times I was the first to top someone. I'd start with getting them off with fingering them and a blow job, so they'd feel themselves cumming while being stimulated. I think it made the sex more enjoyable, knowing how it would feel to when they were going to cum.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 03, 2009 1:27 AM GMT
    Mate, don't assume that a one night stand will help your anxiety, because it could just as easily magnify it. Better to lose your virginity to someone who will respect you in the morning.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 03, 2009 1:32 AM GMT
    What's the hold up? You are 26 and still a virgin. Either you are waiting for that one special guy, have decided to be a monk or a priest, have some kind of phobia that prevents you from having sex or you are extremely ugly that you couldn't even pay for sex.

    Find a friend or make one and take things easy. The one night stand thing is an option but seriously you'll better if you find someone who is a friend and shares your views and it's less risky.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 03, 2009 1:42 AM GMT
    Timberoo said
    I remember the times I was the first to top someone. I'd start with getting them off with fingering them and a blow job, so they'd feel themselves cumming while being stimulated. I think it made the sex more enjoyable, knowing how it would feel to when they were going to cum.


    ..........................................exploding_head.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 03, 2009 2:04 AM GMT
    LukeKnights saidHeyy Dood, Imma Virgin And I Agree With the First Dood Im Waiting For The right Guy Who I Can Trust Ya Know Alot Of PPL are impressed when you ssay im a virgin


    You're lucky I guess... People just make fun of me.... icon_sad.gif
    Although, I've always wondered how people managed to lose it around the age of 14....

    love_mate said
    LukeKnights saidHeyy Dood, Imma Virgin And I Agree With the First Dood Im Waiting For The right Guy Who I Can Trust Ya Know Alot Of PPL are impressed when you ssay im a virgin


    But I am 26.


    Only 14 more years until you can star in your very own sequel.
    I say hold on to it!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 03, 2009 2:15 AM GMT
    [quote]
    Only 14 more years until you can star in your very own sequel.
    I say hold on to it! [/quote]:

    lol:

    hahah
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 03, 2009 2:23 AM GMT
    GREAT advice!

    DITTO!

    TucsonGradJock saidMate, don't assume that a one night stand will help your anxiety, because it could just as easily magnify it. Better to lose your virginity to someone who will respect you in the morning.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 03, 2009 2:27 AM GMT
    Guy101 saidWhat's the hold up? You are 26 and still a virgin. Either you are waiting for that one special guy, have decided to be a monk or a priest, have some kind of phobia that prevents you from having sex or you are extremely ugly that you couldn't even pay for sex.

    Find a friend or make one and take things easy. The one night stand thing is an option but seriously you'll better if you find someone who is a friend and shares your views and it's less risky.


    helpful icon_eek.gif
  • jlly_rnchr

    Posts: 1759

    Aug 03, 2009 2:30 AM GMT
    love_mate said
    LukeKnights saidHeyy Dood, Imma Virgin And I Agree With the First Dood Im Waiting For The right Guy Who I Can Trust Ya Know Alot Of PPL are impressed when you ssay im a virgin


    But I am 26.


    I'm 25 and a virgin, whatchou trying to say?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 03, 2009 2:42 AM GMT
    No sweat man. Tons of guys out there with your level of experience young and old.. So advertise that and explore together.
  • scrumrob

    Posts: 92

    Aug 03, 2009 3:24 AM GMT
    TucsonGradJock saidMate, don't assume that a one night stand will help your anxiety, because it could just as easily magnify it. Better to lose your virginity to someone who will respect you in the morning.


    Excellent comment. My first time very nearly became the last time. I was 18 and didn't have sex with a man, again, until I was 28. It was sort of traumatic because neither of us knew what the hell we were doing. The second time was with a man who was careful and didn't rush. I ended up enjoying the second time as much as I hated the first time. I was more often the top, but when I'm in the mood to bottom, nothing else will do.
  • swimmerdude52...

    Posts: 119

    Aug 03, 2009 3:43 AM GMT
    I am gonna agree with all the other guys on here...one night stand is definatly not what you want to do. Trust me i thought it was the way to go for a bit but you are still alone at the end of the day. Plus it being your first time I think you should definatly be comfortable with the person and not have it be a total stranger
  • Marshi

    Posts: 196

    Aug 03, 2009 3:46 AM GMT
    Someoneyou are extremely ugly that you couldn't even pay for sex.


    How did you know? icon_sad.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 03, 2009 4:06 AM GMT
    Hit Craigslist, manhunt.net, or a bathhouse. You'll be sure to get some detached sex.

    However, you should ask yourself why you feel that you need to be detached from it. That should be a telling sign to you regarding your mental health and self-esteem and ability to have relationships with folks in Real Space. You're on a dangerous path.

    I'm curious as to how you can declare yourself as a bottom and virgin in the same paragraph. Safe, and one night stand, really don't belong in the same paragraph.

    In essence you're seeking throw away people. You might want to ponder your actions.