Should I give up on this guy?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 03, 2009 3:53 PM GMT
    Since about a month a hot new younger guy has moved into my neighbourhod, while passing by his place a few times we have exchanged looks and its obvious hes interested, however he seems to be telling everyone about this, like last night, he was sitting outside his house with friend and it was obvious that the friend knew, then he went and positioned himself two houses away perhaps thinking I will approach him, but he didnt care there were other guys looking at whats going on and would talk, then today I passed by his place in daylight, usually its at night, and again a group of guys was there and I looked in the rear view mirror he was pointing me out to the guys.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Aug 03, 2009 4:37 PM GMT
    and the drawback is ..... ?




    Btw ..... is this guy supposedly str8?
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    Aug 03, 2009 4:44 PM GMT
    If he's straight why is he giving me the look or encouraging me, arent such things despicable to straight guys?

    Drawback is being gay isnt acceptable in the culture I am from and since its the neighbourhood the word would spread, if he wasnt in the neighbourhood I wouldnt care what people thought.

    Should I give him a piece of mind on social do's and dont's, maybe it will teach him some manners and respect, he may be the type to boast about his traits I am not, I can bet he's bisexual as most men here are.

    I dont want an affair with him just to meet a few times a week for casual encounters.
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    Aug 03, 2009 5:07 PM GMT
    Lets see I might get the courage to stop and ask, he seemed quiet and decent, the type who keep to themselves but I guess not.
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    Aug 03, 2009 5:27 PM GMT
    A few questions...........

    Do you think the guy is interested in guys?

    How old is he?


    I'm all for being assertive and going up to a guy and talking to see if he is interested, or I send out clear signals that I am.

    After that, its up to him to respond. If he is not interested, then I got my answer. If I think he may be a little nervous or shy, then I probably will push it a little more, but if he doesn't respond, forget it.

    It should be mutually fun not a "playing hard to get".

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    Aug 03, 2009 6:50 PM GMT
    KissingPro saidA few questions...........

    Do you think the guy is interested in guys?

    How old is he?


    I'm all for being assertive and going up to a guy and talking to see if he is interested, or I send out clear signals that I am.

    After that, its up to him to respond. If he is not interested, then I got my answer. If I think he may be a little nervous or shy, then I probably will push it a little more, but if he doesn't respond, forget it.

    It should be mutually fun not a "playing hard to get".



    Could be hes just getting his cheap thrills, he looks at me, and he went and stood some distance away from his friend where I could approach him more easily so I wonder. He doesnt seem shy considering hes pointing me out to everyone, also hes in his mid 20s or something around that age maybe a little older.



  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 03, 2009 6:54 PM GMT
    Have you ever talked to this guy? From what you wrote you only stare at him when you pass by.
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    Aug 03, 2009 7:29 PM GMT
    icon_neutral.gif

    The staring game. Reading minds. Ach. The intrigues of suburbia.

    Talk to him. Jeez.
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    Aug 03, 2009 7:38 PM GMT
    I dunno, but isn't it possible that a nice stgraight guy new to the neighborhood is just looking for friends? And that those friends could be male?

    In fact, isn't the OP from Pakistan, according to his profile? Unless I'm wrong, single men & women there can't simply approach each other on their own in public, as they might in Western countries. And that same-sex socializing is more the norm? Or is the OP no longer living where his profile says?

    And even is this is in a Western suburb, I don't see why this has to be automatically interpreted as a gay-gay situation. Can't 2 guys just become friends & neighbors, without sexual overtones? I'd make friends with the new guy on the block first, and worry about the rest later.
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    Aug 03, 2009 10:08 PM GMT
    I would proceed with caution. Are he and his friends obviously gay? You don't sound so sure. If not, this "obvious interest" he has may be baiting you into admitting you're interested in him. Then what? If it were me I'd probably just go about my business as if he was the little old lady down the street and not the hot new hunk. If he's genuinely interested, he may eventually approach you.

    The fact that you asked if you should give up on it should tell you something. Trust your instincts.
  • jgymnast733

    Posts: 1783

    Aug 04, 2009 12:54 AM GMT
    Alot of str8 guys get off on gays being attracted to them..Deep down their courious... If it was me,,i'd wait awhile and let him come to me...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 04, 2009 1:08 AM GMT
    wait and let him come or send a clearer signal- could be a str8 guy just trying to mess with you
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    Aug 04, 2009 2:46 AM GMT
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    Aug 04, 2009 3:14 AM GMT
    fpkhan saidIf he's straight why is he giving me the look or encouraging me, arent such things despicable to straight guys?

    Drawback is being gay isnt acceptable in the culture I am from and since its the neighbourhood the word would spread, if he wasnt in the neighbourhood I wouldnt care what people thought.

    Should I give him a piece of mind on social do's and dont's, maybe it will teach him some manners and respect, he may be the type to boast about his traits I am not, I can bet he's bisexual as most men here are.

    I dont want an affair with him just to meet a few times a week for casual encounters.


    Being gay isn't acceptable anywhere until people are willing to be out regardless of the consequences. Heavy load, but someone's gotta do it.

    I don't understand your post or your dilemna at all, and I doubt that there is any culture in the world where 'most men' are bisexual.

    Being gay isn't just about getting laid, dude. You'd probably benefit from having a friend of any kind, if these really are issues you're dealing with. Perhaps he senses that your grand plan for him is to treat him like a piece of meat, and he doesn't like the smell of what you're cookin' up.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Aug 04, 2009 6:18 AM GMT
    "Should I give him a piece of mind on social do's and dont's, maybe it will teach him some manners and respect, he may be the type to boast about his traits I am not, I can bet he's bisexual as most men here are."
    _______________________________________________
    You want to chew him out for looking at you ?



    "I dont want an affair with him just to meet a few times a week for casual encounters."
    ________________________________________________
    I thought that was what an affair was...


    Have you ever considered walking up and saying hello to the guy ?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 04, 2009 7:12 AM GMT
    ALREADY sounds like too much work! let it go.....
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    Aug 04, 2009 2:05 PM GMT
    I am in Pakistan, no gay life here and most of the men are closeted bisexuals, this guy is from the areas bordering Afghanistan and some the best looking men come from there and they are known for their bisexuality.

    Last night when I was returning home, he must have recognised my car as he got up from his seat and came onto the road, I thought he was going to block the way, but he just positioned himself such that it seemed he expected me to stop and talk to him, I mean he was sitting on the left and seeing me coming he got up and moved to the right side of the narrow road, very close to the drivers side as I drove by, all I had to do was roll down the window and say hello without even stopping he was so close, also noticed he had opened most of his shirt buttons and was deliberately sticking his chest out and his body language was also different.

    Normally his demeanor is anything but 'I am available' type, so all this was surprising, for a moment I thought maybe I should stop and offer him some of my fast food take away as a friendly gesture to get things rolling, but I didnt risk anything, just drove by without even looking at him, incase he signalled me to stop, even though no was around this time.


    I think you guys are right about not trusting anything and listening to my instincts, the thing is he dosent know that I pass that way because its a shorter route to my home from a certain direction and I only take it some times, he maybe thinking I am doing so for him and if hes not into me he may be offended, but then why play games, just today I was eyeing another guy and he simply turned and looked the other away.
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    Aug 04, 2009 9:22 PM GMT
    fpkhan saidIf he's straight why is he giving me the look or encouraging me, arent such things despicable to straight guys?

    Drawback is being gay isnt acceptable in the culture I am from and since its the neighbourhood the word would spread, if he wasnt in the neighbourhood I wouldnt care what people thought.

    Should I give him a piece of mind on social do's and dont's, maybe it will teach him some manners and respect, he may be the type to boast about his traits I am not, I can bet he's bisexual as most men here are.

    I dont want an affair with him just to meet a few times a week for casual encounters.


    Pardon me for being an ass but it sounds like you're the problem here. You're the one drooling over this young hot stud and wants to live in the closet and have only "encounters" with this guy. So what if he's not ashamed and points out guys to his friends that he thinks is hot, it's his right to do that just like it's your right to gawk him and think about having sex with him and having it be a big secret. To prevent this in the future stop being such an obvious homo and opening yourself up to this type of possible behavior.