Alpha males

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  Aug 03, 2009 10:18 PM GMT

  Have you ever seen a guy who just seems completely at ease, confident, and in control all the time? The guy who everyone watches, wants to talk to, and wants to be liked by? The guy who just oozes confidence?
  
  There's a guy who I see out at the bars regularly who just oozes this confidence. He never appears to be with anyone but just has this swagger and confidence the way he moves through the crowd and even when standing still.
  
  I am attractive and in good shape but must admit I am seriously lacking in confidence, and I think it manifests itself in how I carry myself. I do not consider myself an "alpha male". I would, like many of you, however, to become one.
  
  Are you an alpha male? If so, what are some things/tips you can provide to become this way?

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  Aug 03, 2009 10:47 PM GMT

  can't say I've ever seen what you describe at the bar..
  
  why are you focusing on what others are doing and not enjoying your self?

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  Aug 03, 2009 11:00 PM GMT

  the_analyst said
  There's a guy who I see out at the bars regularly who just oozes this confidence. He never appears to be with anyone but just has this swagger and confidence the way he moves through the crowd and even when standing still.
  

  
  
  Hm...

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  Aug 03, 2009 11:13 PM GMT

  I was very much an Alpha male, with the hard credentials to prove it. But nowadays, in most gay social situations, I do my best to suppress it, as being unwelcome to my friends. And when I first went to gay bars, the negative feedback I got was that I was "intimidating."
  
  I corrected that quick enough. I did all that Alpha stuff once, don't have to keep proving myself to anybody anymore, least of all to myself. I just want to enjoy my (still) relatively new gay life. And if that Alpha crap gets in my way, as it did, it's a liability.
  
  I retain my self-confidence, that says I'm in charge when I need to, but I hardly need to be. Let somebody else play that game, I have better things to do, new things I've learned that please me in other ways. No, I kinda like this new easy-going guy I've become much more. If I'm still a bit of an Alpha male, consider me a lower-case one.

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  Aug 04, 2009 12:07 AM GMT

  Thanks for the compliment!!!!!!!!
  Just feeling good about yourself and being self assured works wonders, relax your shoulders and dont be afraid to engage in conversations with others...And yes some will see your confidence as conceit but dont worry, it'll only be the insecure ones....never ever allow what they feel about you affect how you feel about yourself...EVER...

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  Aug 04, 2009 1:05 AM GMT

  A lot of self proclaimed alpha males, just aren't. They're either faking the funk, or they're just self-absorbed jerks.
  
  
  
  I don't think anyone should strive to become an alpha male. Just work on your self-confidence and be yourself. Don't try too hard to impress others. When you get over your insecurities, you will naturally attract other guys.

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  Aug 04, 2009 1:07 AM GMT

  xrichx saidA lot of self proclaimed alpha males, just aren't. They're either faking the funk, or they're just self-absorbed jerks.
  
  
  
  I don't think anyone should strive to become an alpha male. Just work on your self-confidence and be yourself. Don't try too hard to impress others. When you get over your insecurities, you will naturally attract other guys.

  
  It doesn't happen often.. and in truth it's kinda scary when it does happen.. but.. I agree with him

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  Aug 04, 2009 1:18 AM GMT

  Personalty: Partly what you make of it; partly genetic.
  
  Try to find value in your current state... unless it is detrimental to your health--if so, try to change the things you dislike about your personality.

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• tbeaux
  
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  Aug 04, 2009 1:20 AM GMT

  I want an alpha male. ;-)

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  Aug 04, 2009 1:44 AM GMT

  xflipx saidI want an alpha male. ;-)

  
  
  Make that two

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  Aug 04, 2009 2:05 AM GMT

  getfitrick said

  xflipx saidI want an alpha male. ;-)

  
  
  Make that two

  
  I've the perfect specimen for you both..
  
  

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  Aug 04, 2009 12:29 PM GMT

  Alpha males are annoying,cocky,assholes.
  
  A man with just Confidence is a different story.
  
  Alpha males like to be the center of the attention. Control their "Packs" and people. Act like they are hot shit,when in fact they look like a hot mess.
  
  
  
  
  
  

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• DCEric
  
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  Aug 04, 2009 1:07 PM GMT

  Why would you want to be some thing the you are not? That is one of the least attractive qualities I can think of.

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  Aug 04, 2009 2:43 PM GMT

  everytime i look in the mirror

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  Aug 04, 2009 3:03 PM GMT

  I think alpha males, as you describe them, march to the beat of a different drum and hence the swagger and confidence.
  
  That swagger and confidence would be worth shit if his attitude was motivated by insecurity and displayed in a snotty disrespectful way to those around him.
  
  Alpha males stand out from the crowd because they don't need to be part of a crowd to feel accepted or validated.
  
  But I disagree with the "control" part. Anyone with half a brain knows that it is impossible to be in total control all the time, or to always have confidence when things are out of control, but the A male knows he has a solid foundation to fall back on, and walks away from nonsense and brushes it off, without being overly defensive.
  
  An alpha male can easily switch to being an Omega male and switch back to being Alpha whenever he wants.
  
  Its interesting how some guys are intimidated by this confidence, and become defensive and critical of it, as if it comes at their expense.

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• HndsmKansan
  
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  Aug 04, 2009 3:30 PM GMT

  I think most of us are simply a mix. I certainly fit the mold of the "Alpha male" in many instances, but don't in a few, mostly by choice.
  
  I'm very comfortable with who I am as a man.. the things I'd like to improve, the things I have improved. I consider myself lucky, happy, fortunate and in control of my life. Call that what you may.
  
  

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  Aug 04, 2009 3:55 PM GMT

  jprichva saidI'm an "Alpha-Bits" male...!
  
  

  
  
  You sure your not a Corn(y) Flakes man!

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  Aug 04, 2009 3:57 PM GMT

  jprichva saidI'm an "Alpha-Bits" male...!
  
  

  
  
  i like how it says "boy tasting tree fun" it

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• HndsmKansan
  
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  Aug 04, 2009 4:07 PM GMT

  jprichva saidI'm an "Alpha-Bits" male...!
  
  

  
  
  I want the free packet of koolaide....
  

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  Aug 04, 2009 4:11 PM GMT

  I don't think the topic creator meant the guy was a douchebag. . . basically just a confident likable guy.
  
  Not a guy who tries to dominate the situation at all times and would lose his cool if someone else as cool came in.
  
  

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• cowboyathlete
  
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  Aug 04, 2009 4:21 PM GMT

  jgymnast733 saidThanks for the compliment!!!!!!!!
  Just feeling good about yourself and being self assured works wonders, relax your shoulders and dont be afraid to engage in conversations with others...And yes some will see your confidence as conceit but dont worry, it'll only be the insecure ones....never ever allow what they feel about you affect how you feel about yourself...EVER...

  This is exactly how I see it. Alpha does not mean being stuck up. When I hit the gym, I make small talk between sets with all kinds of folks.

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  Aug 04, 2009 4:35 PM GMT

  I think it was how I was raised that did it, my pops and my older bros were/are, martial arts training since 5 probably has a lot to do with it, as well as the military, as well as the relationship I have with my friend, who is as well.. I've been like that ever since I was a kid. But I don't look down on people, and don't go around as "Mr serious tough guy", I don't need to, and I aint a bully. But have no problem putting someone in their place when they need it. It definitely with my views on how a man should carry himself.. Always been traditional like that.

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  Aug 04, 2009 4:56 PM GMT

  be yourself.

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• jrs1
  
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  Aug 04, 2009 5:28 PM GMT

  yes: RunintheCity

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  Aug 04, 2009 5:57 PM GMT

  Some ppl just seem very relaxed and sure of themselves on the outside...you never know whats goin on in someone elses life tho (they could actually be unhappy/unconfident but can play it off quite well). If you wanna appear to be confident just relax and dont try to be anything but yourself. Smile and laugh too, always makes u more enjoyable and seem more enjoyable/confident

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