I'm sorry but I need your help.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 05, 2009 12:59 AM GMT
    i'm 18 and I've been with my boyfriend for 7 months now.. and from the very start he told me I was the first guy he slept with. Today however he breaks it to me that there we people before me.

    This doesnt bother me too much, but the fact he's lied to me for over 7 months is getting to me.

    Also, when he was texting me trying to fix things, a text from his number came through saying "sorry, ive got no picture texts left on my account so you'll have to wait for those... was so nice speaking to you"

    He says it wasn't him but how do i know he's not lying to me again?

    We've been through a rocky stage at the moment, and he says he loves me, but i just don't know what to think anymore?

    I know you guys arent agony aunts so im sorry to bring you down, just hoping that someone can give me some advice? maybe you've been through this before.

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    Aug 05, 2009 3:11 AM GMT
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 05, 2009 3:19 AM GMT

    Why, because you are too young to waste time on something you know will fail. I don't recommend men trying at long term relationships too young (because you need to live), but even I have to shut my mouth if the love is strong enough and has potential. From what you say about this guy, this relationship is one of those that will prepare you for future love in that in the future, if any relationship resembles this one, you'll know to move on sooner. The relationship began on a lie and as you said, how do you know when he's telling the truth? I think the message sent at the wrong time is a definite evidence of something because even good cheaters get tripped up and make mistakes. Usually that is a sign of more than one other person, which is why guys who are dealing with a good cheater and infrequent fuck ups by said cheater should worry more and examine each fuckup closely, now matter how ambiguous it might be.
  • Halfstep

    Posts: 859

    Aug 05, 2009 12:45 PM GMT
    Why would anyone so young wanna tie himself down with such a miserable, anxiety ridden relationship?

    There are two aspects of a relationship I feel,

    the selfless side and selfish side.

    The selfless side is really important when working with your partner.

    However, the selfish side is really important in protecting yourself and making sure you aren't being screwed over.

    I say you need to be a little more selfish and admit to yourself that this relationship is probably more trouble for you than you need right now.

    What I mean is that if you're lacking this must trust, its not gonna work out.

    So if you two can't get past this trust issue that the two of you are having, you are in for a very rocky, miserable relationship.

    Clearly there is a lot of inexperience here. I'll repeat it. It is natural to get jealous/worried about whats taking place in your partner's life/ what has taking place in his life; however, if you cannot get past it, if you cannot learn to trust, and if he cannot convince you to trust him, then its just not worthed. Because if something this little is going to cause so much frustration, imagine whats gonna happen when something big happens one day.
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    Aug 05, 2009 12:58 PM GMT
    I would look him in the eye and say, "Thanks. Next"

    If you stay with him, that is the guy you deserve.