The "Roommate"

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 05, 2009 1:33 PM GMT
    So my boyfriend works in health care. He often times has to drive out to people houses to help take care them for however long their insurance will allow. They're usually really really ill, or really really old.

    My boyfriend is out to his employers. They love the fact that he has a boyfriend and I've even met them a few times. Women in their 50's who said: "Hello, its like 2009. Who cares?" But is often times not out to the people he takes care of.

    So one my boyfriend's consumers, they aren't allowed to call them patients, is a 97 year old woman named Maxene. She asked my boyfriend if he was married in which he said no. "But I do have a roommate." But surprisingly yesterday, my boyfriend goes to work. And Instead of saying how was his roommate like she usually does, she said "How is your boyfriend doing hunny?"

    I find it very funny that a 97 year old woman could be more laid back about it than most 20 year olds.

    So my two questions:

    1. any similar experiences
    2. Do you ever find that the older generation is becomming more accepting than the younger ones?
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Aug 05, 2009 1:38 PM GMT
    Johnn Carson ws quoted as saying he loved to interview the very young or the very old because they said what was on their minds. icon_cool.gif
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    Aug 05, 2009 1:55 PM GMT
    ^ That icon_smile.gif

    It's why I like little old ladies and little kids. They have more common sense than all the human race put together.
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    Aug 05, 2009 1:58 PM GMT
    Sedative said^ That icon_smile.gif

    It's why I like little old ladies and little kids. They have more common sense than all the human race put together.


    I know and its so very odd to me. You'd think given the straight/gay relations of her time would make her completely different, but she had so many questions about me. She wanted to know how we met. How long we'd been together.

    And another guy at the grocery store. A bagger in his 50s laughed when he caught me and my boyfriend bickering. And said he's a guy. You should know by now they never listen. Thats what he has you for.

    I just find it all very intriguing. My friends my age, they all tip toe around.
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    Aug 05, 2009 2:09 PM GMT

    Good story Halfstep! I volunteer for home care and have had similar experiences. One lady of 89 lived next door when we lived in Vancouver. Seeing to her was easy, and she spent a considerable amount of time in her backyard watching us. (no legs below the knees, so observing the neighbours a big pastime for her). She was completely OK with us, and used to love having us over and telling us stories about Canada way back when.

    When I asked her about us one day, she waved her hand dismissively and said that she had a TV...lol! She said she knew all about gays and bad wild girls, tattoos on wazzoos (cackled like a chicken over that one), piercings and
    even (her voice hushed) S and N!

    -Doug of meninlove
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    Aug 05, 2009 3:45 PM GMT
    yes. once I was dating this guy and we were taking the metro rail since my car was broken a the time, and then he started with playfully calling me names and whatnot. just then this old guy sat next to us and we were alarmed, half expecting him to frown, complain about "faggots". But he didn't. He just said "you don't need to worry. straight couples do it too". I was shocked.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Aug 05, 2009 4:14 PM GMT
    Thats hilarious, thanks for sharing... but I think it does show that times are a changing. Hopefully there will be more acceptanceby people of all ages.
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    Aug 05, 2009 4:58 PM GMT
    Well the woman has been around for almost 100 years. She probably can pick up on a thing or two. I think in America we underestimate our elderly, and we forget that just because they're not as pretty, swift moving, or whatever that they are clueless, or just completely stuck in their ways. I think it can become sort of a self fulfilling prophecy. Other societies revere their elderly for their wisdom. Anywho, my point is that I'm sure that gay is probably old news to her. Can't assume...elderly people have had a lot of people in their lives... family, friends, acquaintance and even though they may for the most part be housebound because of deterioration of their bodies, they led active lives for many years.
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    Aug 05, 2009 5:31 PM GMT
    I agree with Runnin's sentiment. The elderly are the most dismissed and discounted part of our society, IMHO. And I can see it even more so, even if I were blind, in the gay community. And I am always amazed by kids when they say something that they will move on from in about 30 seconds and it is shocking to me that they even though it. And of course always the sage advice for the elders. Whenever I see an older couple holding hands and smiling, I think to myself that I hope I am there when I get to that point in my life-In love and content, still after all those years.
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    Aug 05, 2009 5:32 PM GMT
    This is something everyone should learn; tolerance, acceptance, and humility.
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Aug 05, 2009 5:37 PM GMT
    GigoloAssassin saidThis is something everyone should learn; tolerance, acceptance, and humility.


    The movie Bruno showed how little there is of "this" in the world!!!
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    Aug 05, 2009 5:39 PM GMT
    MikemikeMike said
    GigoloAssassin saidThis is something everyone should learn; tolerance, acceptance, and humility.


    The movie Bruno showed how little there is of "this" in the world!!!


    I know. Tragic. We've learned nothing from the people before us, the ones who fought and died to give us freedom.
    And what do we do? We abuse it and satirize it. And the message gets lost in translation.
  • Latenight30

    Posts: 1525

    Aug 05, 2009 8:27 PM GMT
    This plays into something I heard on OUTQ Radio Sirius
    How some 1,000,000 mothers group wants to boycott Home Depot because they did a 5,000.00 sponsorship at a Gay Pride Event, attended by Gay Parents, with Arts and Crafts for the children. They attest that Home Deopot is inviting children to be around Transvesties, Transsexual ect.
    Now the children know whats up if they are at a pride event with their gay parents.
    So...unless they try to eradicate us, and nothing so far seems to keep us down... we aren't going anywhere so they need to either get over it or ... go drown themselves.
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    Aug 05, 2009 8:46 PM GMT
    By simple demographics, the older someone is, the higher the likelyhood that they are going to be socially conservative and intolerant. That does not mean that all older people are like this.

    It is a simple fact that many people truly become set in their ways as they get older and are unlikely to be teachable to a more contemporary trend of acceptance.

    As is typical though, the loudest ones are also the most stereotypical.
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    Aug 06, 2009 12:26 AM GMT
    [quote][cite]

    I find it very funny that a 97 year old woman could be more laid back about it than most 20 year olds.

    So my two questions:

    1. any similar experiences
    2. Do you ever find that the older generation is becomming more accepting than the younger ones?[/quote]


    It's encouraging when the older generation 'gets it'. In this case she not only got it but wanted your bf to know it's ok to be open about it - not to mention her interest in him personally by asking more about his life.

    Off topic - your bf would do a great favor to himself to learn more about her life experiences at age 97. You'd be surprised how interesting it could be.

    That said, my partner and i have been out for 20-years. Family and extended family from all generations are very open about it. This seemed to come naturally for them as we didn't have to tip toe around the subject - ever. We have seen over the year things change for the better in public too. Of course there are places where we tend to stay guarded.
  • kinetic

    Posts: 1125

    Aug 06, 2009 1:20 AM GMT
    Hooray for cool old ladies!
    icon_biggrin.gif
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    Aug 06, 2009 5:01 AM GMT
    Halfstep, you'll get a kick out of this one then:

    I went over to see my 80+ year old great aunt. I haven't seen her in many years but she lives right in the west end of Vancouver, where I was also living at the time. I'm with my mother and am telling my great aunt that I've been "very engaged with work". She only hears "engaged" and says, "Engaged??? You're getting married?? TO WHO?" (she's a bit hard of hearing).

    So I say, "no, I'm engaged in my WORK. I'm not actually seeing anybody right now."

    To which she replies, "WHAT? YOU DON'T LIKE GIRLS?"

    My Mom and I looked at each other and burst out laughing and I said, "well, no, not in that way, I don't."

    We had a good laugh over that one after we left.

    "WHAT? YOU DON'T LIKE GIRLS?"

    I think she figured if I was my age, and living in the west end...
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    Aug 06, 2009 5:06 AM GMT
    ahahahahahahahahahahahahah!!! "Hows your boyfriend doing hunny???"

    I would have love to seen your "Roomates" face.icon_eek.gif
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    Aug 06, 2009 7:18 AM GMT
    I had been divorced from a woman for a couple years. My grandmother and I were pretty close. Everyone says shes alot like me, she was a pretty open mouthed crazy woman! haha

    Every now and then she would call me so we could tell each other dirty jokes and she would say "you dating anyone" I say "no grandma" Shed say "you havent switched sides on me have ya" haha...I never could admit it to her for fear of her having a heart attack.

    I always thought it was funny, but I think in her way she was letting me know whe already knew.

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    Aug 06, 2009 7:32 AM GMT
    MikemikeMike said
    GigoloAssassin saidThis is something everyone should learn; tolerance, acceptance, and humility.


    The movie Bruno showed how little there is of "this" in the world!!!


    How does a movie about a heterosexual man going around being as obnoxious as possible show how little acceptance there is in the world? icon_confused.gif

    Obnoxious people are obnoxious whether they are hetero or homo. It's not about orientation.
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    Aug 06, 2009 10:34 AM GMT
    Similar story. My mother's a pretty open minded lady, has Guns 'n Roses and Poison's greatest hit CD's in her car, along with Frank Sinatra's. Last year when I came out to her I expect the usual gamut of questions. Instead, she simply said "You're not telling me anything I didn't already know."
  • ManinSTL

    Posts: 38

    Aug 06, 2009 10:47 AM GMT
    Great post and topic Halfstep!
  • thisguy023

    Posts: 204

    Aug 06, 2009 11:48 AM GMT

    My husband and I train at a local gym. It is a pretty straight place. Last Friday afternoon as I was leaving I was 'waived out' by the complete staff. They wished me a great Amsterdam Pride Weekend. They hoped I would really misbehave at all the parties and they would help me get back in shape afterwards.
  • upsguy68

    Posts: 270

    Aug 06, 2009 11:57 AM GMT
    I had been delivering packages about 2 or 3 times a week to this lady probably in her 60's. One day she asked if I was married. I told her no, but she could tell I wasn't telling the complete truth. So, then she asked, "Do you have a boyfriend?" I was kind of shocked, but I admitted that I did. What she said next completely shocked me....."Honey, even I tried the lesbian thing a long time ago."icon_surprised.gif
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    Aug 06, 2009 1:16 PM GMT
    outdoorathlete saidHalfstep, you'll get a kick out of this one then:

    I went over to see my 80+ year old great aunt. I haven't seen her in many years but she lives right in the west end of Vancouver, where I was also living at the time. I'm with my mother and am telling my great aunt that I've been "very engaged with work". She only hears "engaged" and says, "Engaged??? You're getting married?? TO WHO?" (she's a bit hard of hearing).

    So I say, "no, I'm engaged in my WORK. I'm not actually seeing anybody right now."

    To which she replies, "WHAT? YOU DON'T LIKE GIRLS?"

    My Mom and I looked at each other and burst out laughing and I said, "well, no, not in that way, I don't."

    We had a good laugh over that one after we left.

    "WHAT? YOU DON'T LIKE GIRLS?"

    I think she figured if I was my age, and living in the west end...


    lol nice. I'll have my bf read this one.