would like some help here

  • baldone

    Posts: 826

    Aug 05, 2009 11:21 PM GMT
    i had always been in somewhat good shape and worked out,biked couple miles a day walked, never much of a runner, up until about 4 years ago was 6-1 about 175....felt terrific and looked ok too, then i came out,lived couple years of hell still married, finally divorced last year,filed bankruptcy and lost my house in june....to date i have gained about 45lbs and now have no energy to get in shape again, nor have the desire....but tired of sitting at home as i don't want to go out looking like this and know that looking like this i will not meet anyone that might be interested...what can i do tired of being the old fat man
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    Aug 05, 2009 11:29 PM GMT
    There is a very simple solution but it requires that you make it a priority. Take up a sport that really makes you work up a sweat. You could join a runners or swimmers club. Biking is good too so long as you bike aggressively and not just leisurely. Be adventurous with your exercise. If you go for a run choice a beautiful wooded hilly area where the beauty will raise your spirits and help you overcome what sounds like depression. Now here's a warning. Everyday you think about doing this a voice will tell you to sit on the coach and stay at home. YOU HAVE TO IGNORE IT! Fresh air, exercise and a good diet will help you out of this rut and not much else.
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    Aug 05, 2009 11:42 PM GMT
    Sounds like you need to look for support from your friends. You'll feel better if someone else is there pushing you to exercise. But either way you're going to have to go out and face what you look like now, but knowing that you can change your figure. Also see if you can network to find a job in a gay-friendly area....?
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    Aug 06, 2009 12:42 AM GMT
    Baby steps, baldone. As you get out there and do stuff, your energy level will start to ramp up a bit, and the endorphins your body releases will keep you wanting to do more. Start simple -- maybe a nice evening walk. Then pick up the pace a bit. Take up a sport that's relatively fun and simple...maybe racquetball. Exert yourself a bit. Eat healthily. As you work your way into a healthier lifestyle, you'll feel better about yourself, which in turn will give you the motivation to keep going. Ruts are tough to get out of, but once you start simply doing something and feeling better about yourself as a result, you might be surprised at how quickly you start getting into that new, healthier groove.
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    Aug 06, 2009 1:05 AM GMT
    Do it for you, not for someone you might meet.


    The things you did before, if you like the activities, start doing them again.


    Good Luck!
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    Aug 06, 2009 2:03 AM GMT


    When your truly tired and ready for change..... you will set in motion the attitude and commitment to do so!

    Best of luck to you
    Hillie
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    Aug 06, 2009 4:58 AM GMT
    Why don't you think of your posting as being step one in getting back in shape? You've already taken the first step, now just keep it upicon_smile.gif

    You have gone through a lot in the last few years. The fact that you are on here and looking to get back to your normal self is proof that you're a strong guy. It wouldn't be a bad idea to see a doctor, get a checkup to see that you're OK to start a workout/exercise program, mention the possibility of depression too.

    Just getting out of the house for an hour's vigourous walk might be a good start. Best of luck!