Its just one pill, its ok!!!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 06, 2009 7:51 AM GMT
    I am hiv positive. Found out the end of may. I have been suffereing from intense espohpagus/stomach pain for about 2-3 months. My hiv dr told me to get that cleared up first and then due to my #'s being so low I will go on meds after that.

    She scheduled me to have a scope done to see what was going on. Well about a week ago I looked in my mouth at the gym and found thrush in my mouth. Well I freaked the hell out. The IDC clinic was closed for some reason that day, so I went to my family physician....hes an older man.

    I explained to him what I had found...long story short, here how it went. Now keep in mind I had my 9 yr old son sitting in the room with me that knows nothing of HIV. I didnt want him to be with me but had no choice.

    He tells me that this is serious and shakes his head in disbelief stating that he hates to see his patients get like this. He asks me my tcell #, I tell him 94. He then procedes to ask me in front of my son "Do you have life insurance"? I said yes, and laughed thinking hes making some kinda sick joke to ease the mood...he never laughed....then said "you need to take care of your family"

    No shit sherlock! WTF? The ignorance of these people are beyond me. You would be shocked at the # of people I have come across now that are in the medical field and know nothing of this disease, they are still in the 80's, including doctors!!!

    I didnt know alot before I got it but I knew it wasnt a death sentence and not to freak out over things like this. So many friends and guys have lived 20-30 years with this.

    I am writing this not to just put down a doctor though. I am writing to let people know what hiv + people go through still. The medicines, the stigma, and the depression. Being looked down on.

    Its so common now adays for someone to say, Oh dont worry! its manageable, you only take one pill a day and your fine.....ITS NOT FINE.

    I am taking 5 pills a day for right now, have thrush in my mouth and going down my throat/espophagus that hurt so bad that I couldnt hardly swallow my own spit. Have to have a scope done now to see whats going on in there.

    I have to live everyday back in the closet so to speak wondering if people at work are gonna find out, will my insurance drop me? What if my kids find out? they will be devastated! I am supposed to be the strong one that takes care of everything and everyone...I cant let them down. you hear stories of people comparing tragedies and say things like "well atleast they dont have aids"

    Trust me if and when you get to just taking one pill a is not the end. It is not as "manageable" as people think...not mentally and socially.


    I am urging everyone to get tested and KNOW YOUR STATUS. Please take care of yourselves and each other....responsiblity starts with ourselves.....and if someone tells you its ok, its just one pill they are lying....thats just the beginning.

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    Aug 06, 2009 3:54 PM GMT

    I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. The very last thing you needed was an indiscrete, insensitive ass of a doctor.

    I hope that your doctors will soon be able to get you some relief from the thrush and esophageal pain you are suffering. I also hope that, if you haven't already, you will put yourself in the hands of a therapist experienced in working with HIV+ men.

    It's brave and generous of you share your experience with the rest of us. I hope that in return we can provide you with some support during this very bad time for you.


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    Aug 06, 2009 4:07 PM GMT
    Sorry to hear of what you are going thru. The best to to you

    Hopefully your story will knock some sense into some of the guys who are of the opinion that it's no big deal.
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    Aug 06, 2009 4:15 PM GMT
    Bro fcuk dat doctor, start LIVING and stop freekin out yo...4 realicon_exclaim.gif Change ur diet, drink a lot of water, stay in da gym, make life changing changes, BE SMART. Da doctor is a man *(RIGHT)*icon_question.gif they all make errors bro. I would not have my 9 yr old wit me in situations like dat.icon_eek.gif
    I believe u will be ok, once u calm down and decide to start LIVINGicon_wink.gif
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    Aug 06, 2009 5:07 PM GMT
    Thanks for posting this. Is it possible to find a gay or gay-friendly doctor in your town?
  • EricLA

    Posts: 3462

    Aug 06, 2009 5:17 PM GMT
    Wow, sorry to hear about this. But you need to find a family physician who deals with HIV on a daily basis. I've said it before and I'll say it again, every gay man should find a gay or gay-friendly doctor. A straight doctor, unless he has a clientele of mainly gay men, is not going to know gay health issues. For instance, I wonder how many of you have been vaccinated against Hepatitis A and B. These are sure ways to protect your health. I could use many other examples. But in your case, the way this doctor handled you was all wrong.
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    Aug 06, 2009 5:46 PM GMT
    I am sorry that doctor was such a stupid jerk. I am sure there must be a social service agency in your part of the country that helps people living with HIV. Maybe you could call them and ask for a referral to a physician who has experience treating HIV+ people. I suspect that he or she would also be the best bet in the area for a doctor who has a clue about the health issues that gay and bisexual men face, regardless of their status.
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    Aug 06, 2009 6:12 PM GMT
    Sorry you had to put up with such an uninformed doctor. Your story is a prime reason why people need to stay informed and take ownership of what ever disease they may have. Luckly, you and your other doctor are more informed about HIV treatment. The uninformed Doctor's advise could had been devastating to an uninformed newly diaganoised person. It will be interesting to hear what your regular Doctor has to say about the other doctors's advice.
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    Sep 03, 2009 11:41 PM GMT
    Brian, you so brave. I am sorry you have to deal with this and your doctor, although is older. Still has a lot to learn. Thank you for sharing your story. I pray that you get better. You will get better.