Roomie or no roomie?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 07, 2009 4:56 PM GMT
    I'm torn between the option of having a roommate or taking a single in college. I applied to have a roommate, however I was given a single, and I was weighing the benefits of both. Single would sure give me privacy that I need, but at the same time I want a roommate for the experience, possible friendship, etc. I know there are many variables when it comes to benefits of being double- I could end up hating my roommate, and so on.

    What do you guys think?
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Aug 07, 2009 5:06 PM GMT
    I can understand your dilemna... I wasn't in a dorm or related situation when I was in college, but was in law school. I roomed with my cousin with whom I get along very well (albeit he drove me crazy... but thats just us). The issue was, one semester we had a living arrangement with a common living area (and then 4 bedrooms). I was the only law student there, so had to deal with some of the crap that undergraduates do.

    I think you need to be comfortable first and foremost. What are you use to? Your privacy or not?

    I think I'd ask if you can change once you get there..... if you meet and develop friendships and find you want to double up.. do so, but otherwise your privacy is secure.
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    Aug 07, 2009 5:25 PM GMT
    Well, I want my "gay privacy" and I'm not sure if I would be comfortable going on rj, chatting, webcaming, (or anything else) with someone in the room. Chances are the roomie could be gay too, hehe. So that's the only main thing that bothers me. But I think I could work something out and gain a friend.
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    Aug 07, 2009 6:07 PM GMT
    I had a roommate my first year and it's definitely a good experience of just learning to live with other people. The whole "gay privacy thing" I understand too...because I obviously didn't get too much of that, but like....if you're out, then does it really matter?

    My roommate was ideal. He did his thing, I did my thing...and we got along really well and we weren't best friends by any means--which I liked. BUT my best friend had a terrible roommate...and I mean terrible. He'd come home drunk all the time and he told me once that he woke up to his roommate pissing in the sink--which I find absolutely disgusting.

    So it's something I suggest you take a shot with. icon_smile.gif
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Aug 07, 2009 6:32 PM GMT
    First room mate I couldn't stand, after that it was ok.
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    Aug 07, 2009 8:30 PM GMT
    My roommate in first-year university was a nightmare. I eventually moved and got my own space. But if you can find a good one, it's great to have the company and to learn how to share space with someone. I've lived with two different partners over the years and certainly shared spaces for shorter periods of time while travelling. It would have been nice to have had some practice at a younger age before getting so set in my ways. icon_smile.gif
  • jgymnast733

    Posts: 1783

    Aug 07, 2009 8:32 PM GMT
    Dont worry,you'll meet friends regardless,,,enjoy your single space...My roomie freshman year was total ass....
  • Joeyphx444

    Posts: 2382

    Aug 07, 2009 8:36 PM GMT
    Everyone says do it for the "experience" but you shouldn't do something you don't want to do just b/c it's the college thing to do lol. I had a roommate for some of last year and in all of freshman year. We got a long and there weren't any problems but at the same time we had different schedules. I hate waking up at 9am to go to the gym while having to be super quiet cuz my roommate slept until 2pm. I also hated going out on a date with a guy and having to say something else to my roommate, if they asked. They were not the type of people i would hang with outside of being roommates. I guess I am lucky for not having craziness or anything but I prefer to live a lone. I like things specific and having a routine and roommates kind of get in the way lol Living with someone is a whole new realm that can show a WHOLE new side to someone you know or think you know
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    Aug 07, 2009 8:40 PM GMT
    My roommate freshmen year was a complete druggie - take the single - plenty of ways to make friends on campus - after freshmen year I ended up renting houses across from campus with my best friends and that kicked ass. I loathed coming home to my dorm my first year because I would find my roomie blasting music and high on some new drug. I spent my time in the library, playing intramural sports, fraternity, etc - which resulted in me making better friends.
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    Aug 07, 2009 8:41 PM GMT
    I was not out, even to myself, as I began college, and I had a terrible first semester freshman year roommate. However, he partied so hearty, frequently never making it back to the dorm, he flunked out first semester. Second semester, I had the double all to myself. As bad as the guy was (a more generous way to put it would be to say..."so different were we") I would still recommend the roommate for the learning experience.
  • dannyboy1101

    Posts: 977

    Aug 07, 2009 8:58 PM GMT
    You'll meet friends other ways. I had a roommate my freshman year and he was decently nice, a bit spoiled but oh, well. Then there was the night that I was awakened by him doing his gf in the bunkbed below me. Not worth it. Take a roommate when you get to pick your roommate. Don't take a roommate and hope to get a friend.

    And make sure to talk to people on the first day of class.
  • josephmovie

    Posts: 533

    Aug 07, 2009 9:31 PM GMT
    I say take your chances with a roomie. I had good and bad ones. My best straight buddy was my roomie over 25 years ago. Sure, I lived with some real jerks, but I have some great stories to tell about their antics.

    Don't get all me, me, me and my space. You've got plenty of time for that later.

  • yogadudeSEATT...

    Posts: 373

    Aug 07, 2009 9:36 PM GMT
    I say go with the flow and take what the universe gave you, brother. You can always have dudes over to visit when you want company.
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    Aug 07, 2009 9:51 PM GMT
    I would do the rommate thing. Did random for the first semester and got roomed w/ a guy from high school (out of 50,000 students, lol). Definitely teaches you a lot about yourself and others, definitely worth the experience even if it's not so good (had those, too). You live and learn, and in the end you can still be friends with somebody while at the same time just not being able to live together. I'm fairly clean and one of my first roommates decided he liked shotgunning in the living room and spraying beer all over the place. Talk about conflict resolution.

    I still keep in touch w/ my roommates that hassled me the most (lived in fours for the first 3 years, 2 randoms each time w/ a buddy of mine), but it's funny talking about it with them because it's like agreeing to disagree -- instead agreeing that you can never live together lol.
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    Aug 07, 2009 10:00 PM GMT
    Well, what really happened is this- I never requested single (single is something you need to request- otherwise you get double). Another funny thing was that I didn't get any of my 5 picks. I already wrote a letter saying that I'd like my contract to be revised.

    Both sides have pluses, but I originally wanted to have a roommate, so I'm just gonna go with that.
  • SirEllingtonB...

    Posts: 497

    Aug 07, 2009 10:42 PM GMT
    I prefer having a roommate during, at least, the earlier parts of your undergraduate years. I'm in a triple this fall with these two other guys, one of whom I'm dangerously crushing over - I mean come on he was captain of his high school varsity lacrosse team, was in varsity soccer, and loves theatre and dance?

    Anyway... my point is that having a roommate is a good way to meet new people because not only will you have your roommate as a (potential) new bud but if you two go on and make friends of your own that's double the new friends and so on.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 08, 2009 2:31 AM GMT
    If it is a roommate as in sharing a room in a dorm and you have the option of a single room, go solo. In a dorm situation, you'll always meet people if you are out going. Having some stranger in the bed next to you isn't always fun. Sometimes it works out. But in many cases, it'll be a pain...especially when one of you is drunk or has brought home a new friend ;) and the other has an exam or paper due. And sometimes they take your stuff, break your stuff, smell bad, have personal issues, or personalities that don't click with yours. Been there, done that.

    If it is a roommate as in sharing an apartment, that's different. Your own rooms, it is cheaper on living expenses, and can help you with meeting other people.

    But dorm life doesn't afford you much privacy to begin with, so it is nice knowing you (and perhaps the dorm administration) are the only ones with the key.
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    Aug 08, 2009 2:38 AM GMT
    Go single. Start off on your own and develop a friendship through your fellow dorm mates. You will always have the option of having a roomie as you have the option of always being single. Technically you already have roomies being in a dorm and they are just down the hall or right next door.
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    Aug 08, 2009 3:44 AM GMT

    In a dorm: definitely go for a single. You'll have plenty of opportunities to hang out with other people on your hall or floor. And, when you've had enough, you can go back to your own room and shut the door. My best friends from college are three of the guys on my hall in freshman year and we're still in touch 25 years later.
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    Aug 08, 2009 3:59 AM GMT
    I watched my grades go from Cs to straight As when I went for the single room.
    The dorm was convenient, but, having a roommate on top of me was a real pain. I enjoy the company, but, college-age folks can be very infantile.

    You can always hang out in commons if you want to meet folks.

    I wouldn't hide the gay thing. I wouldn't rub it in anyone's face, but, I sure wouldn't sneak around.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 08, 2009 4:58 AM GMT
    saguaroman saidMy roommate freshmen year was a complete druggie - take the single - plenty of ways to make friends on campus - after freshmen year I ended up renting houses across from campus with my best friends and that kicked ass. I loathed coming home to my dorm my first year because I would find my roomie blasting music and high on some new drug. I spent my time in the library, playing intramural sports, fraternity, etc - which resulted in me making better friends.


    Same here! My room mate freshmen year actually trafficked weed from our room. If that weren't bad enough he smoked in in there (only twice though, like hell I was going to take that). So I got a transfer and I ended up with a room mate who bathed about once every two weeks. In between he'd just put on deodorant and accuse me of stealing his peanut butter (yup, that's not a joke or an exaggeration). icon_rolleyes.gif

    Needless to say, I'm staying in an apartment this time around.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 08, 2009 5:34 AM GMT
    If I were you I'd go with the single at first, then AFTER you meet people and know who you like and don't like, you can work into a roomie situation with them for the 'experience'. My first college roommate was ok but he was a random person I didn't know at first, and so we weren't the best of friends since we didn't turn out to be very similar. The roommates I chose in subsequent years, however, were awesome, and I still consider them to be some of my best friends. I don't think I would have gotten to know them as well if I didn't live with them, and I knew beforehand that we had enough in common to where rooming together would actually be fun times. And it was.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 08, 2009 11:41 AM GMT
    A flatmate, yes. A roommate, no. icon_neutral.gif He wouldn't like seeing my um... experiments.