Life after Military: Not as Hoped

  • MercuryMax

    Posts: 713

    Aug 07, 2009 9:10 PM GMT
    MaxKronos1.jpg

    So, I'm out of the military as I've told all you guys before. I get my last paycheck on the 15th. Unfortunately, my plans to be a stunt driver have been halted since after a little research into the new GI BILL that the government grants us for honorable service, has shown that it will not cover a certifiable class for stunt driving. So there goes that dream.

    However my plan B was to be a limo driver for my friends company, but once again, its not living up to expectations since I'm not getting enough work and what I'm gettin paid isn't paying the bills.

    Plan C: Thinking that being out of the military would have given me the open opportunity to meet someone good for me has...well...fizzled. So there goes the "Having a boyfriend and Shared bills" idea.

    So, I'm on Plan D: I'm going to use the new G.I. Bill to go to school and get a degree and it will give me extra money to pay bills per month, so with that and the limo driving, i should fair out ok. However, for some reason, I've always been afraid of college, i dunno why.

    So I found a 10 dollar bill in my room this morning and have decided to treat myself to the showing of GI JOE today just to help me unwind. However, no one in my area is interested in going with me. Why is it so hard to find friends these days LOL.

    Is there anyone out there with advice about life?
  • creature

    Posts: 5197

    Aug 07, 2009 11:59 PM GMT
    Don't worry, MercuryMax. Things will turn around.

    Going to college is a great idea. There is no need to be afraid of it. It's a great opportunity to meet like-minded people, network, and hopefully the degree you get is for a job you actually like.

    I'm actually back in college for a career change. I already have a Criminology & Criminal Justice degree, but I had no clear cut idea of what to do with it, and the profession I have now reflects that (totally unrelated, and low pay). So at the urging of my dad, I went back last year to major in Accounting. But even though I'm good at it, I really don't care for it. Recently I decided to narrow my interest in Criminology to Investigative Forensics, which is a major offered at the university.

    I don't have any advice to offer about life. Just set long-term goals, whatever they may be, and work on the short-term ones that will allow you to achieve those long-term goals.

    And I'm surprised you haven't found anyone. Are you seriously looking? I am surprised. But as jprichva has pointed out, it's only been a short while.

    And you're a limo driver? Here's a prank call to cheer you up:


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    Aug 08, 2009 12:12 AM GMT



    I really liked her story. I hope you find it Inspirationalicon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 08, 2009 1:00 AM GMT
    Plan D is the better plan with long term potential. Make sure to choose a major that you enjoy, you have a good chance succeeding in, and that pays well down the road.

    Making friends isn't easy if you just returned from the services. You seem to be an easy-going guy, try to be out-going and be interested in people, whatever their age, gender, profession. In no time you'll surround yourself with friends. Not talking about boyfriend, that can wait. It takes time and patience to find the right guy, especially if you live in a smaller city.
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    Aug 08, 2009 1:21 AM GMT
    Transitioning out of the military isn't easy for most guys. Especially if you've been in for a long time.

    Don't let college intimidate you. I'm sure you've had to attend various schools for your MOS training. College will probably be a walk in the park in comparison.

    Get a roommate to help cover expenses. Go out and socialize. And enjoy your new life as a civilian. icon_cool.gif
  • jgymnast733

    Posts: 1783

    Aug 08, 2009 1:58 AM GMT
    Are you kidding, a cutie like you not making friends..??
    I'd have not problem spending some time with you...KISSicon_wink.gif
    I'm sorry you've had to resort to plan D, but who knows,,this might be the best thing for you.. Everything happends for a reason[in most cases], maybe this will lead to a greater good.. ask the universe to guide you....
    icon_idea.gificon_idea.gificon_idea.gificon_idea.gificon_idea.gificon_idea.gificon_idea.gificon_idea.gificon_idea.gificon_idea.gificon_idea.gificon_idea.gificon_idea.gificon_idea.gificon_idea.gificon_idea.gificon_idea.gificon_idea.gificon_idea.gificon_idea.gificon_idea.gificon_idea.gificon_idea.gificon_idea.gificon_idea.gificon_idea.gificon_idea.gificon_idea.gificon_idea.gificon_idea.gificon_idea.gificon_idea.gificon_idea.gificon_idea.gificon_idea.gificon_idea.gificon_idea.gificon_idea.gificon_idea.gificon_idea.gificon_idea.gif
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    Aug 08, 2009 2:02 AM GMT
    damn... if you weren´t 6000 miles away I´d take you to the cinema, cook you supper and give you a neck massage to help you unwind.....

    Hang in there, Max, it will settle

    icon_razz.gif
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    Aug 08, 2009 2:07 AM GMT


    ...and lostboy would do it too!

    (and is, by the way, excessively cute)
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    Aug 08, 2009 2:08 AM GMT
    I wanna say you seem to be setting your sights way too low for your life. Think of how you use your GI benefits to get an education for a professional career that will bring you in a 6-figure income.
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    Aug 08, 2009 2:32 AM GMT
    I wish I lived in Charleston. I'd go see GI Joe with you. After that we could sit around and bench race. Discuss how great the LT1 is etc... then we could spend some time down in Battery Park and watch the good looking guys go by (from the citadel), all the while complaining about how we can't get the guys we want.



    Oh ya, it'd be a good time.


    Don't be too down Max, it'll work itself out.
  • Koaa2

    Posts: 1556

    Aug 08, 2009 2:45 AM GMT
    I think College and an Education is the best move for you. you can succeed with a little more positive thinking. Think about the good things you have going and accomplished already, try not to dwell on the negative so much. Maybe getting involved in a gay support group in your area would also help.
  • MercuryMax

    Posts: 713

    Aug 12, 2009 6:27 AM GMT
    I wanna thank you guys for all your positive comments. I have to admit tho that in my family, I was the first one to graduate high school. So the thought of college was new and scary to me....still is.

    Now that I've been in the military for 6 yrs, tryin to go back to school is an even scarier thought. I wish I had a friend to go through it with. But honestly, i don't have many of those either. They all got re-stationed in alaska lol.
  • jaded57

    Posts: 85

    Aug 12, 2009 6:44 AM GMT
    I remember when I first got out of the military I felt the same way. Luckily for me I was in a place with an awesome American Legion and VFW post. As well as a pretty good V.A. system in general. I was pretty listless and didnt know what to do, just that going back into the Army was not for me. I ran into a couple of other guys around my age who were going thru the same thing at a transition meeting held at our local V.A. I made friends with them. And I also met with the transition officer for our local V.A. he encouraged me to first draw unemployment until I had taken a month or 2 off for myself to get my mind straight and my personal life in order. Lets face it civilian life is totally diffrent from the military. First you got bills second you feel alone because unlike in the military your best friends and battle buddies arent there 24/7.
    I encourage you to get in touch with your local V.A. transition team, V.F.W. post or American legion, all three of these groups will help you navigate life outside of the military. Secondly I always suggest unemployment for a few months. I mean we paid into and put our lives on the line for America. Why not take advantage of this tool to help you readjust.
    All in all your gonna be okay. Seems kind of rough at the begining I know but it does get better. Like I said before civillian life is not the same. It is a culture shock. Luckily we have programs out there to help out with the transition. Youll be okay.

    p.s. I just saw where someone said find a gay support group. That is an awesome idea. Lets face it as military guys we dont really know much about actual gay life. Who knows what or who you might find.
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    Aug 12, 2009 6:53 AM GMT
    if you were in nyc i would go with ya... As for college it will be a great experience for you..Make sure you select a major that you know you can put to use. Not to knock your dreams of being a stunt driver..but its safe to have a backup career. As stun driving might leave you crippled and then you wont have anything to fall back on. So be realistic, for gods sakes you were in the Military..whats the worst that could happen to you in a classroom. Go take some semesters in college it will be good for you. And if it your having issues with the classes...im sure you can find a free tutor on campus....go...go on ..get it.
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    Aug 12, 2009 6:58 AM GMT
    Well, I have always been afraid of stunt driving and going in the military so you have nothing to be afraid of.

    Just remember, most people who act smart in college are just pretentious. I think I spelled that wrong. At least you know I'm not pretentious.
  • mynyun

    Posts: 1346

    Aug 12, 2009 8:19 AM GMT

    Well having not been in the military I can't share any stories or feel your pain on that. But I have my own goals and my own interests and stuff I wanted to do as far as the job market goes but all my plans would be low paying at this time. So I am going back to college to continue my education in something that will pay the bills. Guess I'll follow my dreams later.icon_neutral.gif Unfortunately I didn't qualify for any grants so I have to use loans so atleast you'd fare better than I in that area.
    I watched GI Joe as well. It wasn't alone but I was prepared to go alone. I am single and most of my friends live almost 2 hours away and are usually unavailable to join me. But I got lucky and seen it with a friend and we both liked it. Though he kept talking thru it icon_rolleyes.gif
    Like someone else mentioned getting a flatmate or roommate should help with splitting the bills and you can go from there. Though good luck finding a descent roomie. And love takes time. It usually happens when you aren't looking for it.
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    Aug 12, 2009 8:34 AM GMT
    i got out of the military 2 years ago and really the GI bill is only a lil part of my financial resource, it barely covers my tuition so i have to work full time while im going to school full time, also. its hard, and its really stressful.
    try getting ur financial aid stuff with ur GI bill and that helps. also, there are a lot of scholarships u can try for. just look hard for them.

    good luck man. let me know how it works.
  • captproton

    Posts: 316

    Aug 12, 2009 8:59 AM GMT
    Max:

    I agree with the poster who said you're setting your sights too low.

    You could do more in life than be a limo driver. If you want to make some bucks driving, find yourself a company that is producing a movie and sign on as a driver. Those guys make big bucks and there must be something like that in your neck of the woods.

    Why not drive for a non-profit while you're figuring things out? Contact some temp agencies. You might have to get a special license, but you could do that fairly easily.

    As for your life's work, you can make career changes a few times while you decide what you really want to do. If you like cars that much, why not train to be a certified mechanic? Cars these days are so computerized, you have to be a technician to get under the hood and you'd make great money, too.

    Stunt driving is hit-and-miss. It's also hazardous. What if you wreck? You end up paralyzed--or worse.

    Maybe you're good with computers or computer-aided design. That, too, pays very well.

    A technical or community college could offer you the right training.

    Open up your mind. The possibilities for a young guy like you are almost endless.

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    Aug 12, 2009 9:38 AM GMT
    I've been in your shoes, and can't say I ever want to have to experience anything like that again.

    I went straight to college after my discharge. I mean, I was in a college dorm within 30 days of receiving my papers.

    It was rough. I was out of my element. Civilians seemed to be so ... uncivilized. I was close to 21 years of age while the rest of the guys were in their late teens. It honestly took about a year for me to find my place in society. I struggled for awhile to make the grade (literally, I struggled to keep a 3.0/3.25 GPA), but life got a lot easier for me once I was able to loosen up and let go of my past.

    It will happen for you. Don't try too hard, and don't let the little things in life get you down.

    And for crying out loud, DON'T waste that $10 you found on GI Joe: The Movie. Please, for the love of god, don't do it.

    Word of advice: learn how to manage your money.
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    Aug 12, 2009 10:09 AM GMT
    Max

    College is the way to go. If you haven't checked out the new GI Bill, it is a huge improvement over previous versions. 36 months of education, living stipend and books.

    Good luck!
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    Aug 12, 2009 10:28 AM GMT
    If nothing else, college will afford you the opportunity to meet some awesome people!
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    Aug 12, 2009 10:44 AM GMT
    Part D is an excellent plan for long term goals.

    We are now transitioning into a time where the "new" high school diploma is a "four year degree"

    Several decades ago, many were able to get by in life only with a high school dipolma. Today is seems to get by in life one needs a college degree. There are always expections though.

    Anyway, take college slowly if you are neverous.

    1. Ease back into it.
    2. Learn how to be a good student [again].
    3. Make use of tutors on campus.
    4. ALWAYS ASK QUESTIONS
    5. Create good relations with your professors
    7. Start as a part time student
    8. What happened to number 6?
    9. Baby-stps untill you gain confidence
    10. Start at a Community College and then transfer

    NEVER GIVE UP. If you find college isn't right for you... fine. Great. at least you know. But if you come to that decseion after giving college a good try... it is not giving up.

    Braintsorm careers you may be interested in.Do you want to be in the social work force or manufacturing work force? Do you like animals? (not the kind on your plate... unless you want to be a cook or butcher lol) Kids? Elderly? Computers? Do you have special Ninja skills?

    Think about your goals. Your interests. what you value in life and how you want to leave your mark on this world... hopefully in a good way.
  • coolarmydude

    Posts: 9190

    Aug 12, 2009 12:06 PM GMT
    unl1988 saidMax

    College is the way to go. If you haven't checked out the new GI Bill, it is a huge improvement over previous versions. 36 months of education, living stipend and books.

    Good luck!


    I think you should go to school. http://www.gibill.va.gov/GI_Bill_Info/CH33/Post-911.htm

    You also need to slow down your expectations and work up to them. Things don't come automatically, especially in this economy. You also need to build a professional network and be visible. 80% of job opportunities come by word of mouth.

    Why don't you consider starting your own limo service business, especially if it's limited for your area?
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    Aug 12, 2009 12:17 PM GMT
    muchmorethanmuscle said
    Lostboy saiddamn... if you weren´t 6000 miles away I´d take you to the cinema, cook you supper and give you a neck massage to help you unwind.....

    Hang in there, Max, it will settle

    icon_razz.gif



    Yeah, and be prepared for something quinoa based. LB swears by the stuff. icon_razz.gif


    Save me some left overs? icon_smile.gif


    Actually I´d let him have some of my Special Sausage.



    And to eat I´d do chicken stuffed with soft cheese and wrapped in prosciutto

    icon_lol.gif.