I am considering the online dating scene...suggestions?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 08, 2009 5:50 AM GMT
    I have never done the online dating thing and was thinking about giving it a try. I am wondering which of the the online dating sites people have relative success with...any suggestions?

    Let me clarify, I am not looking for "hook ups" per se but for serious adult dates. Dinner, movie, good conversation and we take it from there. (I don't really consider these social websites "dating" sites...unless I am doing something wrong.)

    Any suggestions gentlemen?
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    Aug 08, 2009 5:54 AM GMT
    Maybe give chemistry.com a go. Great pumpkin pic btw. Best time of year.
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    Aug 08, 2009 3:54 PM GMT
    GOOD LUCK! That stuff has never worked out for me. The guys I have dated just tended to be at the right place at the right time. Since you probably "stand out" in a crowd I would think you could meet guys out and about. Then again I guess these sites could allow you to "meet" a lot of people quickly
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Aug 08, 2009 3:57 PM GMT
    Match.com or Yahoo Personals might be a good place to start. Too bad you don't live closer...........sigh
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    Aug 08, 2009 4:01 PM GMT
    I found the problems that arise from online dating concern communications. The internet can be a great facilitator to initially meet people, but after that, you gotta be real.

    Which means keep the texting and emails to a minimum and try to make the switch to live phone calls and actual dating quickly.
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    Aug 08, 2009 4:09 PM GMT
    I'm living proof you can meet someone really great on-line. I did that right here on R.J. We started out right here in Forums - and then e-mailed back and forth for quite awhile before taking it to the phones. We talked for a few hours every night, then we met - live and in person for the first time last month when he flew to my state from his.....2600 miles away. Everything went perfectly well and we're serious about each other now. (Yes, there is a move in our future!)

    Not sure about any dating sites - - never used them - - but I guess the key is talking at great length with a new guy - and seeing if there is enough there to cause you to want to meet in person. Good luck!
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    Aug 08, 2009 4:11 PM GMT
    Jockbod48 saidI'm living proof you can meet someone really great on-line. I did that right here on R.J. We started out right here in Forums - and then e-mailed back and forth for quite awhile before taking it to the phones. We talked for a few hours every night, then we met - live and in person for the first time last month when he flew to my state from his.....2600 miles away. Everything went perfectly well and we're serious about each other now. (Yes, there is a move in our future!)

    Not sure about any dating sites - - never used them - - but I guess the key is talking at great length with a new guy - and seeing if there is enough there to cause you to want to meet in person. Good luck!



    Your not going to spill the beans and tell us who the lucky RJ guy is? That's cruel.
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    Aug 08, 2009 4:18 PM GMT
    KissingPro said
    Jockbod48 said



    Your not going to spill the beans and tell us who the lucky RJ guy is? That's cruel.


    Most of our friends on here know the handsome, dark haired, hunk is Bob - (BGCat57). He is the most amazing man I've ever met. We're ideally suited.
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    Aug 08, 2009 4:21 PM GMT
    Online dating does have its plusses. You can get to know a lot about someone online much sooner than you may have face-to-face because people tend to tear down walls a little easier online, to where they hold back face-to-face. You can cover a lot of territory with someone online before you ever actually meet them, or decide you even want to meet them. If you can quickly graduate to the phone, or even web camming, you lessen the chance of having any real surprises when you actually do meet them. I've met most of my dates online since I don't go out to gay places because I am not out. The ones that I have finally met face-to-face were all good dudes. Didn't meet "The One" yet, but they were still worthy of dating.
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    Aug 08, 2009 4:26 PM GMT
    bartnews saidOnline dating does have its plusses. You can get to know a lot about someone online much sooner than you may have face-to-face because people tend to tear down walls a little easier online, to where they hold back face-to-face. You can cover a lot of territory with someone online before you ever actually meet them, or decide you even want to meet them. If you can quickly graduate to the phone, or even web camming, you lessen the chance of having any real surprises when you actually do meet them. I've met most of my dates online since I don't go out to gay places because I am not out. The ones that I have finally met face-to-face were all good dudes. Didn't meet "The One" yet, but they were still worthy of dating.


    Interesting observation you have. I found the opposite to be true. No matter how well pics and profile look, you really don't know anything about a guy just from online information.
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19138

    Aug 08, 2009 4:30 PM GMT
    I agree with Jockbod (and so happy for him) that you really can meet someone to date online. It's as viable a venue as any other to meet "Mr. Right". I met someone right here on RJ as well who also was a 100% quality guy, we had great chemistry, and even dated for a time. It didn't workout, mostly because we lived 2000 miles apart, but I likely would have never met this wonderful person had I not met him online. You just have to be smart about it, verify that the person is real as soon as possible, and then be open minded to the possibilities as you get to know each other better. You just have to believe that if YOU are a quality person looking online, then obviously there are others like you online who are also looking.
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    Aug 08, 2009 4:33 PM GMT
    KissingPro said
    bartnews saidOnline dating does have its plusses. You can get to know a lot about someone online much sooner than you may have face-to-face because people tend to tear down walls a little easier online, to where they hold back face-to-face. You can cover a lot of territory with someone online before you ever actually meet them, or decide you even want to meet them. If you can quickly graduate to the phone, or even web camming, you lessen the chance of having any real surprises when you actually do meet them. I've met most of my dates online since I don't go out to gay places because I am not out. The ones that I have finally met face-to-face were all good dudes. Didn't meet "The One" yet, but they were still worthy of dating.


    Interesting observation you have. I found the opposite to be true. No matter how well pics and profile look, you really don't know anything about a guy just from online information.




    I agree. That is why I said that it is important to graduate into talking on the phone or, preferably, web camming so you know pretty much what you're getting (physically at least) before you actually meet so there are no surprises.
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    Aug 08, 2009 4:41 PM GMT
    I say steer away bro...icon_eek.gif too much drama, peeps have hidden agendas onlineicon_exclaim.gif Too many games and it gets old very quikicon_lol.gif
  • junknemesis

    Posts: 682

    Aug 08, 2009 4:45 PM GMT
    Just be very careful. Don't accept a date from just anyone. Measure the guy up a lot before to meet him. Trust your instincts, if you get an oogey feeling about a guy then tell him it wont work. It's only online, don't be afraid of offending anyone because if someone unnerves you trust me, they're not going to be offended. They'll just look for their next date, you'll go on looking for a nice guy, and no harm done. Most of all be yourself and be polite and 100% truthful.
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    Aug 08, 2009 4:46 PM GMT
    masculine31 saidI say steer away bro...icon_eek.gif too much drama, peeps have hidden agendas onlineicon_exclaim.gif Too many games and it gets old very quikicon_lol.gif



    Dude, could you be any more bitter and negative? Just because your life is filled with drama (of your own doing no doubt) and maybe you have "hidden agendas" doesn't mean everyone is like you. I hope not anyway.
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    Aug 08, 2009 4:59 PM GMT
    masculine31 saidI say steer away bro...icon_eek.gif too much drama, peeps have hidden agendas onlineicon_exclaim.gif Too many games and it gets old very quikicon_lol.gif



    No, mate, you get old very quik
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    Aug 08, 2009 5:11 PM GMT
    TucsonGradJock said
    masculine31 saidI say steer away bro...icon_eek.gif too much drama, peeps have hidden agendas onlineicon_exclaim.gif Too many games and it gets old very quikicon_lol.gif



    No, mate, you get old very quik


    No dawgz 80% of these kats on more than one website, like men4rent, a4a, bgc, t4s etc...I am not trying to catch HIV, AIDS, or any STD...icon_eek.gif use ur brainicon_rolleyes.gif
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    Aug 08, 2009 5:12 PM GMT
    masculine31 said
    No dawgz 80% of these kats on more than one website, like men4rent, a4a, bgc, t4s etc...I am not trying to catch HIV, AIDS, or any STD...icon_eek.gif use ur brainicon_rolleyes.gif



    How about you prove you actually have one
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    Aug 08, 2009 5:43 PM GMT
    masculine31 said
    TucsonGradJock said
    masculine31 saidI say steer away bro...icon_eek.gif too much drama, peeps have hidden agendas onlineicon_exclaim.gif Too many games and it gets old very quikicon_lol.gif



    No, mate, you get old very quik


    No dawgz 80% of these kats on more than one website, like men4rent, a4a, bgc, t4s etc...I am not trying to catch HIV, AIDS, or any STD...icon_eek.gif use ur brainicon_rolleyes.gif


    How would you know that unless you were too?

    And you don't get HIV from being on multiple websites, and you don't even get HIV from being a huge whore. You CAN get HIV from having unprotected sex with someone who is HIV+ or from a tainted blood transfusion, needle stick, etc. Are you the Sarah Palin of safe sex ed?

    Online dating is like offline dating - you get what you put into it and the more you're willing to share about yourself, the better.
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    Aug 08, 2009 5:44 PM GMT
    I highly recommend staying away from online dating, if possible.

    I've been on dating sites for over 10 years and actually studied them two years ago for a project. While some sites, like Chemistry.com, rely on a scientific approach to matchmaking, most sites end up attracting guys that have a hard time in the real world for various reasons, so they prefer searching online.

    Dating sites also seem to make people a lot more selective (too many guys to chose from), people post outdated pics, crazies take advantage of the platform and people treat each other with less respect.

    If you feel comfortable approaching guys in the real world, that's a much better way, in my opinion. You'll get to see and hear the guy before and appreciate the person for who they are. You'll also be relying more on your basic instincts.

    Btw, RJ isn't exactly a dating site, so I don't feel the same rules apply. I'd totally date someone from here.
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    Aug 08, 2009 5:49 PM GMT
    TucsonGradJock said
    masculine31 said
    No dawgz 80% of these kats on more than one website, like men4rent, a4a, bgc, t4s etc...I am not trying to catch HIV, AIDS, or any STD...icon_eek.gif use ur brainicon_rolleyes.gif



    How about you prove you actually have one


    Did i hit a NERVEicon_question.gif0002039F.gif
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    Aug 08, 2009 5:51 PM GMT
    bartnews said
    masculine31 saidI say steer away bro...icon_eek.gif too much drama, peeps have hidden agendas onlineicon_exclaim.gif Too many games and it gets old very quikicon_lol.gif



    Dude, could you be any more bitter and negative? Just because your life is filled with drama (of your own doing no doubt) and maybe you have "hidden agendas" doesn't mean everyone is like you. I hope not anyway.


    Lmao...r u stalking meicon_question.gif I really believe u just described ur'selficon_eek.gif0002031F.gif
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    Aug 08, 2009 6:14 PM GMT
    badmikeyt said
    masculine31 said
    TucsonGradJock said
    masculine31 saidI say steer away bro...icon_eek.gif too much drama, peeps have hidden agendas onlineicon_exclaim.gif Too many games and it gets old very quikicon_lol.gif



    No, mate, you get old very quik


    No dawgz 80% of these kats on more than one website, like men4rent, a4a, bgc, t4s etc...I am not trying to catch HIV, AIDS, or any STD...icon_eek.gif use ur brainicon_rolleyes.gif


    How would you know that unless you were too?

    And you don't get HIV from being on multiple websites, and you don't even get HIV from being a huge whore. You CAN get HIV from having unprotected sex with someone who is HIV+ or from a tainted blood transfusion, needle stick, etc. Are you the Sarah Palin of safe sex ed?

    Online dating is like offline dating - you get what you put into it and the more you're willing to share about yourself, the better.


    How much dumber & ignorant can u geticon_question.gificon_rolleyes.gif where r u going wit thisicon_question.gif who in fcuk hired uicon_question.gif00020309.gif
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    Aug 08, 2009 6:23 PM GMT
    SeaSon saidI highly recommend staying away from online dating, if possible.

    I've been on dating sites for over 10 years and actually studied them two years ago for a project. While some sites, like Chemistry.com, rely on a scientific approach to matchmaking, most sites end up attracting guys that have a hard time in the real world for various reasons, so they prefer searching online.

    Dating sites also seem to make people a lot more selective (too many guys to chose from), people post outdated pics, crazies take advantage of the platform and people treat each other with less respect.

    If you feel comfortable approaching guys in the real world, that's a much better way, in my opinion. You'll get to see and hear the guy before and appreciate the person for who they are. You'll also be relying more on your basic instincts.

    Btw, RJ isn't exactly a dating site, so I don't feel the same rules apply. I'd totally date someone from here.


    I agree with this guy.

    Online dating is a crap shoot. Remember that dating sites are a money making business. The people who are available are the ones who choose to pay for it and the people who run it really have no control of who the person is who's making a profile. Just something to keep in mind..

    It sounds like you get out and do stuff, put yourself out there, you seem like a nice guy, and you're attractive. Something will work out for you some place.
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    Aug 08, 2009 6:31 PM GMT
    Runninchlt said
    Online dating is a crap shoot.



    Dating, in general, is a crap shoot.