The time has come for Asexuals/Intersexuals to be represented...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 04, 2007 2:19 AM GMT
    *stands on soapbox*

    I think gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and transgender people need to be more inclusive of others as well. We often leave out people who are Asexual and people who are Intersexual. 1% of the population is purported to be Asexual and 1 out of 2,000 people are Intersexual. Why aren't they at the pride parades? Why aren't LGBT sites more inclusive of these minorities?

    Resources:
    http://www.asexuality.org

    http://www.isna.org/

    http://www.intersexualite.org/oii-usa-index.html
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 04, 2007 2:20 AM GMT
    ::raises hand::

    Proud asexual.

    Newton <3
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    Dec 04, 2007 2:22 AM GMT
    yay Newton, that's cool. You should organize a group of Asexuals to march in the next pride parade. I'd march haha I am an asexual ally.
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    Dec 04, 2007 2:25 AM GMT
    hey Tool, sorry for my ignorance, but would you share a little about asexual?
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    Dec 04, 2007 2:30 AM GMT
    I am not aroused by sex, nor am I interested in it. I haven't had sex in well over a year. Certainly does not imply that I do not have sex, I just do not find anything remotely appealing in it.
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    Dec 04, 2007 2:40 AM GMT
    http://www.asexuality.org/home/index.php?option=com_content&task=section&id=6&Itemid=28
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    Dec 04, 2007 2:44 AM GMT
    This makes me laugh, actually. Never thought this issue would even be raised. But I vividly recall rolling my eyes at my partners (without their knowing) while having sex.

    Hahahahah
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    Dec 04, 2007 2:48 AM GMT
    The reason I raise the issue, is because, it doesn't get raised. The public needs to know it is another orientation and millions are "A". While Asexuality differs from the gay rights movement. I think kids who well aren't sexual should not feel weird or pressured to be something they are not. Asexuality is normal and healthy!

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    Dec 04, 2007 2:50 AM GMT
    Oh and just to clarify for those who are confused. Asexuals can be in relationships. I know asexuals who have boyfriends or girlfriends, I know asexuals who classify as straight, gay, pansexual...

    Asexuals don't have a disability, they are fully capable of having sex, they just don't care. They can still enjoy kissing, cuddling, and being romantic with someone. They enjoy emotions and relationships and interaction just simply don't want the sex or need much of it.
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    Dec 04, 2007 2:54 AM GMT
    so asexual still fall under a preference of certain type, weather men or women. I'd think a true asexual is neither interested in men and women. if they do, maybe it's just low sex drive?
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    Dec 04, 2007 2:56 AM GMT
    It's not a matter of disinterest in a particular gender. It's an indifference, at times even distaste, of sex itself, albeit with a female or a male.

    I am still physically attracted to men. I just don't really enjoy the thought or act of sex. Perhaps that's why they all leave me lol.
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    Dec 04, 2007 2:57 AM GMT
    Well ebl some Asexuals don't need anyone and choose to be single. From my understanding most would like to be with someone. Think of it as a life partner, best friends who love one another, but have no desire to have sex either ever or very rarely.

    I think like your other post about what makes someone homosexual its not just the physical. So Asexuals are a perfect example of those who embrace the emotional, spiritual, and mental aspects of a relationship and do not embrace the physical.
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    Dec 04, 2007 3:13 AM GMT
    thought indifference, does that mean there is no pleasure out of sex?

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    Dec 04, 2007 3:19 AM GMT
    hmmm that is an interesting question, I am not asexual so I will have to defer to someone who is.

    I guess my best answer would be there is no initial desire to even see if there would be any sensation. Some asexuals do masturbate though and its more of scratching an itch and just releasing as opposed to having sexual desires or fantasies.
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    Dec 04, 2007 3:26 AM GMT
    Some personal insight.

    In terms of physical sensation, there obviously is one, unless you happen to be numb in those areas. Do I get pleasure out of sex? No, not really. I find it rather tedious. Often either too short or too long. Never satisfied. I much rather prefer skipping the whole event.

    With reference to masturbation. If and when I do masturbate, I experience a very deep sense of disgust. I do not want to hear anything about sex or anything associated with it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 04, 2007 3:48 AM GMT
    For sure sex stimulate a part of brain that it does not stimulate you. i wonder how was your childhood education on sex is like?
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    Dec 04, 2007 3:58 AM GMT
    In Latin American and Hispanic cultures (parents born here, grandparents from Cuba [interloped heh], great grandparents are Spanish/Italian), sex is not something that is 'taught' to children, nor is it often spoken about. They usually hold that kind of conversation, depending on their own views, for the later teenage years (often far behind peer-influenced awareness). I've never spoken of sex with my mother but with my father, very limited though he is willing and open to discuss it all. My great grandmother, the woman who raised me, kept the usual "sex is something sacred between two people who love each other."

    I had a Catholic-oriented view of sex - as in, for procreation only - during my childhood. I was an early bloomer, too. Had never engaged in anything sexual (aside from masturbation) until the age of 18. Which to me, seemed fairly normal.

    Not having a sexual desire doesn't really bother me. I mean, it's not like my genes would care. I can't procreate, anyway (considering I am attracted to men). Could it cause some rift in a relationship? I think so. But that doesn't bother me either. If that's where the disappointment in the relationship lies, then we were both better off without each other.
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    Dec 04, 2007 4:22 AM GMT
    well, i know a couple who are both asexual. they love each other and live happily together. so i think possibility is out there. i'm sure no one want to be alone. sometimes i wish i'm asexual.
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    Dec 04, 2007 4:39 AM GMT
    Not to rain on the parade to much...

    Asexuals are like 2 inch penile organs. They exists and there is nothing wrong with them, but our common ideal is we don't really like them.

    Blame society. We are a sex driven gay world somewhat.
  • atxclimber

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    Dec 04, 2007 5:07 AM GMT
    "If and when I do masturbate, I experience a very deep sense of disgust."

    Hmm, I find my revulsion is never natural (i.e. part of my nature), it's always cultivated, and often it's something my ego drums up as a manifestation of fear to avoid going somewhere it's not ready to accept about my particular human nature. And I find I'm happier any time I work to overcome revulsion and explore what's underneath.

    Maybe you're not asexual, you just have some anxiety and fear and revulsion built up like soap scum clouding a glass shower door. I know for me, nothing turns me off faster than fear, and I know coming out, it's been the work of many years getting my ego to play nice with my heart. They're like two kids fighting, and the ego's the bully.
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    Dec 04, 2007 5:08 AM GMT
    You want asexuals and the intersexed to be noticed in the public?

    God, Bill O'Reilly was right! Soon the homosinuals will redefine marriage so they can wed babies and goats!

    ahem,

    The gay community has been adding other orientations to its big tent of sexual liberation. But in defining itself by orientation (sexual and gender based) it invariably will leave people out.

    But, society is a changin' and we are making room for single parent households, same sex couples, and other oddities that don't match the Cleavers. A rising tide raises all ships as they say; so someday we wont even have to worry about perceptions of people who fall outside the norm because that norm will be freaking huge!

    Thanks for raising the issue hippie and thanks for being so open about it TooL
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    Dec 04, 2007 6:30 AM GMT
    But atxclimber, what is there to fear about sex? Unless I fear losing my penis inside of someone, I do not see any reason to go so far as saying that sex elicits a conditioned fear. The disgust comes after a feeling of being "done" with what I wanted to do, and therefore feel no need in looking at or hearing about anything related to it.

    Like I said, there's never been a time where sex has been christened as ill, or immoral, or negative within my upbringing. I just do not view it as a necessity or as an act of interest. It's simply something that I find very little to no purpose in (aside from its evolutionary aspects - reproduce, replicate, yada-yada).

    Society has got this mindset that there are always, or at least mostly, clear and sharp distinctions for ways of defining someone. You are either sociable, or not. You are either gay, or not. You are either feminine, or not. You are either stupid, or not. I think there's quite a heavy evolutionary basis for seeking such patterns, as it reduces both time and energy in delineating perhaps "unnecessary" excess distinctions.

    But the fact remains that there are nuances to every degree in every facet of every individual.

    You're welcome, MunchingZombie.
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    Dec 04, 2007 7:13 AM GMT
    Question for you TooL; do you find it difficult to find guys because you are asexual? I know that for a lot of people, sex, or lack thereof I suppose, would be a dealbreaker. Do seek other guys who either are asexual or simply have a low sex drive?

    I had a friend in college who was asexual. Unlike you, however, she had no interest in coupling at all. She didn't simply lack a sex drive, she lacked attraction to men or women. Really cool girl.
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    Dec 04, 2007 8:49 AM GMT
    Well, I've been pretty apathetic towards the notion of a partner for some time now. It sometimes is difficult because sex seems like a great thing for people. Relieves stress, invigorates, uplifts, whatever the case may be. I find those kinds of catalysts elsewhere engaging in other activities, namely reading, debating, practically anything in and around the world of academia.

    I do not seek for anyone in specific, whether asexual or low sex drive. I've been "single" for almost 2 years. Quotations because there was some sort 'partnership' in between, but it's a lengthy ordeal and didn't amount to anything - and I was still virtually single.

    The thought doesn't bother me, either. Does not necessarily implicate that I would not like a partner, but I am aware of the disparity - though I do not consider it as a hindrance. If my life is one that will be partner-less, then that's how it will be. Besides, considering the profession I plan to pursue, I do not think there will be much time for any intimacy.
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    Dec 04, 2007 2:00 PM GMT
    Trance23:
    "Asexuals are like 2 inch penile organs. They exists and there is nothing wrong with them, but our common ideal is we don't really like them.
    Blame society. We are a sex driven gay world somewhat."

    Our common ideal is we don't really like then? Why don't you like asexuals? I mean, don't date one if you are someone who sexuality is important for you, but to not like em?

    We are a sex driven society, but there are sexual people out there like myself who see sex as one component of life and not life itself.