were you teased as a kid?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 30, 2007 6:55 PM GMT

    Something I wonder about: As a kid I was often left out of the gang, because my sports abilities weren't too good, usually the last one chosen when teams were lined up. Also teased about being a sissie, and had a relatively distant father.

    How many gay guys are close to this kind of profile/experience? Please respond if you fit or don't fit this. I'm interested in developing some crude statistics on this.


  • allamericantx

    Posts: 140

    Apr 30, 2007 7:00 PM GMT
    100% same.
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    Apr 30, 2007 7:07 PM GMT
    As a kid, I had zero athletic ability, but I was never teased about it or called a sissy. And, I was always close with my dad; it was my mother who was emotionally cut off and distant.
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    Apr 30, 2007 7:45 PM GMT
    These bullies in high school got me in a corner and ask me if I was gay. Had lots of friends but stayed away from the "in" crowd.

    My brothers were worst, but I have a great relationship with them today. I have a great relatioship with my parents and they just want to see me the happiest I can be.
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    Apr 30, 2007 8:17 PM GMT
    My story was a little different. I was pretty athletic growing up, but I was made fun of because I had a bunch of female friends that hung around me. So other guys called me "fag" and "gay" because of it. It never bothered me because I was comfortable in my skin. Plus I was about 45 lbs heavier, so once I got in someone's face the name calling stopped. Still got the ladies around me, and the same guys STILL hate me. LOL. I love it though.
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    Apr 30, 2007 8:50 PM GMT
    I was teased and picked last for team sports/games all the time. My father and I weren't close either.

  • SoDakGuy

    Posts: 1862

    Apr 30, 2007 9:14 PM GMT
    I was teased and picked on all the time.

    Since I was a very introverted, quiet and shy kid w/ a very feminine voice (the last thing to change during puberty), I was picked on every day from my first day of 7th Grade until the end of my Senior year.

    I wanted to play football, but the coaches already had their favorites when I was in grade school (I'm from a tiny town of 600 in South Dakota), so I didn't have a chance.

    If we had wrestling at my school, I would have jumped at the chance! My gym class had it for a two week trial and I took to it like fish to water; but they stopped it, so that was that.

    I did run track, but the apathetic coaches really didn't coach me. So ... I became a late bloomer in athletics and in sports in college. :)
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    Apr 30, 2007 9:21 PM GMT
    Had loving parents & was only child, though parents had problems for several years, my 5-8th grades, which made me not want to get too close to my friends. I didn't want to have kids over. Was teased and last to be picked for sports, but was lucky to have other "nerd" friends, with some of whom I'm still in touch. Bullying stopped in HS, had a circle of friends but more or less liked everybody.
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    Apr 30, 2007 9:37 PM GMT
    What I find disturbing is how this same dynamic is often replicated in gay life itself now. Guys who are gender-variant or who don't aspire to look like A&F models tend to get treated by other gay men with the same kind of playground cruelty.

    My mother put me in a gym when I was 5 because she wanted to make a "man" out of me. By the time I was a teenager, I had my own home gym and my own sunbed. My mother made me protein shakes and took me to the barber for buzzcuts.

    She prepared me perfectly for life as a fag.
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    Apr 30, 2007 9:55 PM GMT
    I wasn't teased so much b/c I was a "sissy," but b/c I was so out of shape in my elementary days, which prevented me to perform as an athlete as I am today. I believe some people aren't naturally adequate when it comes to competitive sports, like I was, but it just takes time 'n hard work, 'n I'm sure you know what hard work is. I came to learn hard work from wrestling practice, along w/ the diet 'n all of that.
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    Apr 30, 2007 10:00 PM GMT
    I don't remember being picked last. But in middle school some of my friends suspected I was and sent one of them to pretend he thought he might be gay and ask me for advice. I told him to ask the other gay guy who was more steretypical. I don't know if anywone else has had that done to them by their friends when they were little but its scary.
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    Apr 30, 2007 10:21 PM GMT

    The gay A&F and muscles exclude all other gay "variants" out there: race, age, profession, clothing, you name it..
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Apr 30, 2007 10:30 PM GMT
    Obscene and Musc...
    it's very true..the gay social scene has just as much playground mentality as any schoolyard in America if not more
    I live in SoFLA and if you don't look the look you might as well be paint on the walls
    ...and I'm no saint
    I've done it too...I try to catch myself
    because it's not very pretty
    it makes you very ugly inside
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    Apr 30, 2007 10:47 PM GMT
    I was picked on because i did not like fights and i was realy bad at spelling. Spelling was one of the only things i was bad at i was very good at sci and history and it made people think i was a nerd. I has good at sports i was captain of the x-county team. Also people stopped picking on me after i made the leader of the jocks cry. it was funny i just almost snapped his arm is half. the punishment was worth it though.
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    Apr 30, 2007 10:53 PM GMT
    I was always picked last for teams as a kid.

    My father and I were close, but he was physically absent most of the time because of his job.

    What's funny to me now is that I'm successful and happy, and those guys are pretty miserable and broke. :)

  • leaozinho

    Posts: 177

    Apr 30, 2007 11:05 PM GMT
    yes, i was teased all through school days. i had zero interest in athletics because i had no skills and was made fun of.
    now at 37 i have an increased interest in fitness and some sports. but i need to learn all sports new since i have no idea of the rules.
    my father however was not distant.
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    Apr 30, 2007 11:17 PM GMT
    don't remember much....i think i was picked on daily in high school, if i was, i didn't let it get to me, i lived in a rural town in the bush which some would've said was homophobic and racist, though maybe every time they said called me something in my mind they were just repeating what i already knew (that i was asian and gay though not in the same words as i'd put it lol). i think it helped that most people i went to school with, ive known since pre-school, most insults came from people i didn't grow up with.

    i literally was the pariah of the school, the only goth in my 4.5 years there, most people knew me as the guy who went crazy on acid or the one of two guys that wore makeup in the whole state.
    everyone knew me and liked me and spoke to me but none were close friends outside school (except one or two), wasn't interested in athletics at all, one of the gym teachers called me a girl once and that really angered me. our school of 500 had more potsmoking metalheads than jocks 2-1, lazy country bumpkins!

    i remember that when i moved to brisbane, after the first year here i noticed that within that year, i only was called a fag once and no racial slurs, that took me by surprise.
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    Apr 30, 2007 11:29 PM GMT
    oh, my dad just laughed at me when i wore something stupid like a million necklaces and had two mohawks, but it didn't bother me, he's always laughing at something/someone and he didn't stop me either though i think he was a bit embarassed if he had to introduce me to people. relationship with dad was very country father and son, emotional attachment wouldn't be displayed, lots of joking around, talking about work matters etc.... the only problem i had with him was when beat up mum or us, which was rare but when it occurred you felt it for the next month and i hated him for it. i definitely got my humor, sound of my laughter and sense of fun from him.
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    Apr 30, 2007 11:51 PM GMT
    I never got picked on. My friends and I thought we ran our high school. I tend to be quiet but I never bite my tongue for anyone. If someone said something to me about anything then there would be a problem.....That usually would bring out my frineds and my family. No one wanted to mess with all of us.
    I had a good amount of good guy friends but many female acquiantences. So people would talk about that, but they didnt know if I was just a friend or secretly getting with them.
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    May 01, 2007 1:04 AM GMT
    I was picked on in grade school but not any more than the average person. In high school I was part of the "popular", if you want to call it that, group in highschool so I never got really picked on in highschool.
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    May 01, 2007 2:02 AM GMT
    100% match. Even so far as my jock brothers. But, living well is the best revenge, as they say. When I see all my former nemeses, they are balding and fat. However grey my hair may be turning, its still there and I can still see my 6 pack. It is also amazing to me how much time has changed these former bullies as you'd swear they are now my best friends. Time has help heal the pain but I have not forgotten.
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    May 01, 2007 2:05 AM GMT
    I was rubbish at sports in school, but I really started enjoying them once I got to Uni. I found I actually loved playing Rugby, and started kitesurfing and snowboarding. Kite landboarding was what allowed me to survive the stress of my PhD!

    I wonder how many people think the sports education in schools is partly to blame for some people hating it? Should there be more focus on personal achievement rather than teams? Surely it necessary, especially given how fat people are getting in western society, to teach health and fitness to all ability levels.

    In England at my state grammar school, the attitude was very much that you were abandoned if you didn't show natural flair. And seriously people, segregated education sends you gay :-)
  • treader

    Posts: 238

    May 01, 2007 2:13 AM GMT
    I fit this profile 100%. I was picked on all the way through high school, called 'faggot' constantly and was generally the last to be selected for any gym team. The reason as far as I can tell is that I was physically smaller than most other boys, quiet, and 'a brain'.


    In 7th grade gym class while playing football, the other team wouldn't even guard me. I was insignificant. Then one day, the quarterback on my team realized that I was wide open. (Duh!) He passed to me and I ran in for a touchdown. The other team was completely bewildered.

    The first day in the weight room during high school, I didn't check the weight on one of the machines and just tried to lift it. I couldn't even budge it. The whole weight room broke out in laughter. (The experience woud haunt me for years until I take a weight lifting class in college.)

    When I started college, it literally felt like I had been released from prison. There were so many different types of people than I ever imagined. Other students were actually friendly and were actually serious about studying. It was a new world.

    Most bizarre experience:

    There was one particular guy in high school who particularly tormented me. He was a complete *sshole. One morning during graduate school while riding my usual bus, a unkempt guy suddenly turned to me and say a meek 'hello'. I was catch off guard then in one moment realized that he was the bully from high school. We made some awkward small talk then told me that he was thrown out of his parent's house a few years after high school. He was homeless for a while, but with the help of a city organization he was starting to take car mechanic classes. As my stop approached, he told me that I was "so lucky". I told him "good luck" almost shallowing my words. It's not often to see someone who you despised for four long years now completely, utterly, broken in front of you. Life has its surprises.

    When I started realizing I was gay, it was almost like admitting that all of those bullies were right about me. I was a faggot. It also took me a long time too where I felt that I could call myself a jock. I have no desire to re-live my teenage years what so ever.

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    May 01, 2007 2:21 AM GMT
    I was make fun of all the time as child and as a adily I know see how this experenice has affect who I am both postively and negativly, but I dont think I would change it if I could. I mean sure it was horrible, but I think there is a certain knowledge that come from being the butt of jokes that made be a the kind of person I am today. I dont think I would see people as whole being instead of focusing on aspects of there being, but that is just me.
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    May 01, 2007 2:25 AM GMT
    More ignored than teased as I was not active in sports at the school. Ski racing was not part of the program and nobody knew that was taking all of my time ( or cared ).
    Years later I got my Phys Ed teacher, who was the worst to me, in an adult ski coaching session. He was horribly out of shape and uncoordinated. I was far more forgiving than he ever was and he was appropriately contrite.
    It was almost worth the wait LOL