Female High School Classmate a Pastor, Do I tell her I'm gay?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 18, 2009 7:04 PM GMT
    Apparently Classmates.com came through and delivered my response to a former HS classmate who contacted me, or she found my email.

    Hmm, do I tell her I'm into guys? She hasn't seen me for 28 years.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Aug 18, 2009 7:10 PM GMT
    Bring it up when it seems natural. Example: "Are you married?" "No, I've met some great guys but not any husband material yet."
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Aug 18, 2009 7:10 PM GMT
    Well what demomination does she represent? How well did you get along with her while you were in hs? Curious.
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    Aug 18, 2009 7:24 PM GMT
    You haven't seen her in 28 years, who gives a shit what she thinks? If it comes up in conversation you tell her. If it doesn't, then you can bring up the topic or not. She isn't a friend or a family member or anyone even remotely important to your life. As such, she isn't worth staying closeted for and her reaction isn't worth caring about.
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    Aug 18, 2009 7:29 PM GMT
    HndsmKansan saidWell what demomination does she represent? How well did you get along with her while you were in hs? Curious.


    She was thumping the bible even back in school. I think it's a Protestant church. She has apparently done stuff with Christian Broadcasting Network.

    I will just fill her in on other things, keep it short. Then end it with:

    "I never did get married. I am hoping they legalize it soon in Virginia and then I may give it a shot."

    icon_cool.gif
  • cowboyathlete

    Posts: 1346

    Aug 18, 2009 8:35 PM GMT
    I ran into a high school classmate this year on Facebook. He was an arrogrant prick in high school - and nothing has changed.
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    Aug 18, 2009 8:41 PM GMT
    MunchingZombie saidYou haven't seen her in 28 years, who gives a shit what she thinks? If it comes up in conversation you tell her. If it doesn't, then you can bring up the topic or not. She isn't a friend or a family member or anyone even remotely important to your life. As such, she isn't worth staying closeted for and her reaction isn't worth caring about.


    this. who gives a fuck? why do you have to tell her? her opinion doesnt matter. who cares
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    Aug 18, 2009 8:50 PM GMT
    Christian16 saidthis. who gives a fuck? why do you have to tell her? her opinion doesnt matter. who cares

    I have to agree, asking in what way would this be relevant? Unless something pertinent arises in your chat, your gayness is like whether you are left of right handed. You mention it when it is relative to the chat you are having.

    Naturally you aren't ashamed, but neither is it a major announcement. I will never understand the urge to tell the entire world that you are gay. I neither hide it nor declare it. Let others figure it out for themselves, I really could care less.
  • cowboyathlete

    Posts: 1346

    Aug 18, 2009 8:52 PM GMT
    Christian16 said
    MunchingZombie saidYou haven't seen her in 28 years, who gives a shit what she thinks? If it comes up in conversation you tell her. If it doesn't, then you can bring up the topic or not. She isn't a friend or a family member or anyone even remotely important to your life. As such, she isn't worth staying closeted for and her reaction isn't worth caring about.


    this. who gives a fuck? why do you have to tell her? her opinion doesnt matter. who cares
    Amen, end of discussion.
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    Aug 18, 2009 9:04 PM GMT
    Marriage and sexuality, whether you like it or not, always comes up when you get to be older and people from your past contact you. The typical, "so how has your life been, what are you doing, you married, have kids, etc." type questions.

    I will probably just send her a link to my nature documentary.
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    Aug 18, 2009 9:06 PM GMT
    wrestlervic saidI will probably just send her a link to my nature documentary.

    You have a nature documentary? May I please have a link, too?
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    Aug 18, 2009 9:10 PM GMT
    Red_Vespa said
    wrestlervic saidI will probably just send her a link to my nature documentary.

    You have a nature documentary? May I please have a link, too?


    http://www.gatevideo.com

    I got it onto PBS for four years. Didn't get paid a cent for the broadcasts though, but sold lots of videos.
  • Squarejaw

    Posts: 1035

    Aug 19, 2009 2:31 AM GMT
    Would coming out to her harm you in any way? If not, tell her you're gay! Studies show that people who know gays are more likely to support our struggle for legal equality. It's easier to oppress a minority when you can restrict yourself to thinking about them in the abstract; it's much harder to do so when they take on the face of someone you know.

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    Aug 19, 2009 3:57 AM GMT
    Squarejaw saidWould coming out to her harm you in any way? If not, tell her you're gay! Studies show that people who know gays are more likely to support our struggle for legal equality. It's easier to oppress a minority when you can restrict yourself to thinking about them in the abstract; it's much harder to do so when they take on the face of someone you know.



    You know, that's kind of how I think. If someone likes you, or thinks highly of you, it may be good to tell them you are gay. It shatters misperceptions, and can change the way they view gays for themselves, but also to the people that are around them and influence them.

    And she is a Pastor. She influences a lot of people.