Why are condom wrappers so difficult to open?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 18, 2009 7:46 PM GMT
    So, there you are. You're about to do the business with one of your special gentlemen friends. And what happens? You can't unwrap that fucking stupid buggery bollocks condom wrapper. Why do they make it so difficult? You use your teeth, your fingers and still you can't get that condom out of the shiny plastic wrapper. All the while you little (well in my case big) soldier is losing interest.

    There must be an easier way?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 18, 2009 8:12 PM GMT
    Huh? Most condom wrappers have a little notch where you're supposed to tear at. If not a notch, then little ridges at the edge where you can tear it open.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Aug 18, 2009 8:16 PM GMT
    start the tear before things get hot and heavy
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Aug 18, 2009 8:29 PM GMT
    Timberoo saidstart the tear before things get hot and heavy


    I absolutely agree. I'm into planning and the last thing I want to do is mess around trying to get it open. At that moment.. no frustration.... no way.

    icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 18, 2009 8:32 PM GMT
    Show a little style - - open it ahead of time and put it in a Bacarat or Waterford bowl beside the bed - - with a lid on it to keep it fresh. In fact - if the festivities are going to call for an encore, put three extras in there!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 18, 2009 8:33 PM GMT
    They're just testing your stamina icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 18, 2009 8:34 PM GMT
    Jockbod48 saidShow a little style - - open it ahead of time and put it in a Bacarat or Waterford bowl beside the bed - - with a lid on it to keep it fresh. In fact - if the festivities are going to call for an encore, put three extras in there!


    ...at least Three!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 18, 2009 8:35 PM GMT
    Exactly - tear it open pre-messing around with lube...or if that's too late, dry your hands completely, and use the aforementioned notch. If you need a light, go into the bathroom.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 18, 2009 8:37 PM GMT
    Pre-planning? Dang! I'm not very good at that. I can never find that little "notch".
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 18, 2009 8:38 PM GMT
    You must clearly not be getting enough practice icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 18, 2009 8:53 PM GMT
    Also, too much alcohol impairs your hand-eye coordination. icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 18, 2009 8:55 PM GMT
    They have to be tough to lock the freshness in! You dont want some nasty stale condom on your cock do you?
  • a2507

    Posts: 152

    Aug 18, 2009 9:03 PM GMT
    LOL, but I keep some kiddie scissors on the bedside table.....
    just cut the f'cking package open.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 18, 2009 9:08 PM GMT
    What the hell brands are you people using? Stop using the plastic wrappers and go to the much more common pseudo-metallic wrappers of trojan or durex (I'm more a durex guy myself) if you cant open them then, your using enough lube to fist the guy, in which case i don't really see the use of a condom (i think that might have overstepped the vulgar line... I'm ok with that)
  • swimbikerun

    Posts: 2835

    Aug 18, 2009 9:16 PM GMT
    seanp7 saidExactly - tear it open pre-messing around with lube...or if that's too late, dry your hands completely, and use the aforementioned notch. If you need a light, go into the bathroom.


    Yeah man. They are strategically placed before he comes over.
  • tas_515

    Posts: 133

    Aug 18, 2009 9:35 PM GMT
    SeaSon saidThey're just testing your stamina icon_smile.gif



    ...and your intelligence, relative to the wrapper.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 18, 2009 9:47 PM GMT
    KyleAD saidWhat the hell brands are you people using? Stop using the plastic wrappers and go to the much more common pseudo-metallic wrappers of trojan or durex (I'm more a durex guy myself)

    What? No Magnum users on here besides me??icon_lol.gificon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 18, 2009 9:48 PM GMT
    So what, you want the wrapper should tear in your wallet? It has to be tough until you want it to be opened. And I must say, I have never had a problem making a tear. Perhaps you need more practice? icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 18, 2009 9:50 PM GMT
    StudlyScrewRite saidWhat? No Magnum users on here besides me??
    You bottoms! Always boasting about your size...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 18, 2009 9:50 PM GMT
    StudlyScrewRite said What? No Magnum users on here besides me??icon_lol.gificon_cool.gif

    Magnums are what I use, and their wrapper is not a problem for me. I find this a non-issue.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 18, 2009 9:51 PM GMT
    mickeytopogigio saidYou bottoms! Always boasting about your size...


    you wish i was a bottom.....hehehe
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 18, 2009 9:56 PM GMT
    damn, I tried to find the "love dont cost a thing" condom opening scene. ha, that's the technique I use. lmao.
  • kinetic

    Posts: 1125

    Aug 18, 2009 9:58 PM GMT
    Put a little pair of scissor by your bed-stand. Problem solved!
    icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 18, 2009 9:59 PM GMT
    I'm in agreement with the others; practice makes perfect, but here's a little trick.

    Grab the condom - regardless of the wrapping - and turn it to the perforated side (even in the dark, you'll be able to feel those sides). The perforation is there for another reason - if you grab the condom, pinch at the top with your fingernails, you'll discover the condom will open with no problems. Practice a little (in your case, maybe more than a little!!) LOL Have fun!!

    Another option....let HIM open it and help you put it on. icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 18, 2009 10:11 PM GMT
    Don't you have crew/interns on staff to handle this stuff?