If someone said to you...."Wow you certainly have that gay gene!" Would you consider that to be a negative or positive comment?

  • silverfox

    Posts: 3178

    Aug 20, 2009 5:53 AM GMT
    This thread was inspired by this interesting (though for me confusing) thread started by Danisnotstr8 that you can see here....

    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/629249/

    It got me thinking..... How do I feel when someone says that I have the "gay gene".

    Granted, if they saw how my living room looks now....those words would not be spoken.

    But really, is it a compliment or a put down to you?
    What do you think are the intentions of someone who says that to a gay person?
    Does it reinforce stereotypes?
    Are we somehow "self loathing" if we get insulted when this is said to us?

    What does the "gay gene" mean to you?

    I usually say my thoughts when I start a thread but wow....this one has me stumped.

    I don't know how I feel about it! For real!

    What do you think? icon_question.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 20, 2009 6:06 AM GMT
    I would slip on my sequined glove and bitch slap them.

    How dare they be so presumptuous as to think they the common person can speak to me!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 20, 2009 6:45 AM GMT
    Negative if I happen to be walking down the street, positive if I'm in the middle of fucking them up the ass.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 20, 2009 7:33 AM GMT
    Any stereotype can be both negative and positive, depending on the context of the situation.

    Would I be insulted? I can't really comment, since no one has ever said that I have the "gay gene". Never heard that phrase until I saw this thread. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 20, 2009 7:45 AM GMT
    I'd be mildly perturbed, probably (but as xrichx noted, depending on the situational context) because I like to think I'm not so one-dimensional as to be easily categorized on first glance.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Aug 20, 2009 12:19 PM GMT
    I would assume they feel I am a stereotypical gay man and I'd take that as an insult.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Aug 20, 2009 12:31 PM GMT
    it would depend on the person the comment is coming from.

    if he is a cute gay guy that i could consider "enjoying"; then i would take it as a compliment. icon_cool.gif
  • silverfox

    Posts: 3178

    Aug 20, 2009 2:58 PM GMT
    JakeBenson saidNegative if I happen to be walking down the street, positive if I'm in the middle of fucking them up the ass.


    NOTE FROM OP:

    Well, that just about sums it all up doesn't it? icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 20, 2009 3:32 PM GMT
    I think it depends on whether or not you think being called out for being gay is an insult. I do not, so I don't care.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 20, 2009 3:35 PM GMT
    does that mean i dress better than the average human being? icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 20, 2009 3:40 PM GMT
    charlitos saiddoes that mean i dress better than the average human being? icon_razz.gif


    Among other things. icon_smile.gif
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Aug 20, 2009 3:42 PM GMT
    Depends on who said it and in what context.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 20, 2009 3:50 PM GMT
    I have been told that, and similar, and quite frankly... I feel proud! icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 20, 2009 4:18 PM GMT
    Timberoo saidI would assume they feel I am a stereotypical gay man and I'd take that as an insult.

    Agreed.
  • outdoorjunkie

    Posts: 118

    Aug 20, 2009 4:26 PM GMT
    I'd say, "Excuse me, it's jeans, plural, and THEY'RE Versace. You get two sthaps and a sthlap!"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 20, 2009 5:13 PM GMT
    Wouldn't that just be stating a fact if you're indeed gay??

    If you think it's an insult then clearly you have problems with your own sexuality. Not only that, you're giving credence to the notion that being "Gay" is inferior. Self loathing is such an unattractive quality in a man. We are who we are, trying to cover it up with false voice intonations and over exaggerated swaggers (among the countless other attempts at hyper masculinity) doesn't make you less gay. It just makes you more disingenuous, and quite frankly a sorry excuse for a man.

    If someone says to me that I have the gay gene (or whatever else someone comes up with in this line of thinking), I say

    "And your point is???".
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 20, 2009 5:17 PM GMT
    Note to all the people in these forums lying in wait to respond with snark to every post, over and over: It gets old. And it's not particularly funny.

    No doubt you'll now try to respond to this post snarkily to prove your cleverness.

    Carry on.
  • outdoorjunkie

    Posts: 118

    Aug 20, 2009 5:43 PM GMT
    Sweat saidNote to all the people in these forums lying in wait to respond with snark to every post, over and over: It gets old. And it's not particularly funny.

    No doubt you'll now try to respond to this post snarkily to prove your cleverness.

    Carry on.


    Ok! I'll bite, given my last snarky response.

    Let me get this straight... those of us using "not particularly funny" responses to the OP are therefore essentially wasting yours and everyone's time, right?

    I find that interesting, seeing as you didn't see fit to even answer the OP, but instead wasted everyone's time by calling out other time wasters. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to tell you that you're supposed or not supposed to say anything in particular, I just find your comment really ironic.

    But you know what? You're right. These forums should really only be for those who take the OP's topic seriously, personally, and have something valid and concrete to further the discussion. Why, I even advocate for footnotes and citations!

    To that end, regarding the OP's question: It would depend entirely on the context. I couldn't say how I would respond unless the situation presented itself. I normally don't get flustered when people try and insult me, and I find that a non-response generally diffuses the situation.

    Whew! I feel much better now.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Aug 20, 2009 5:45 PM GMT
    GaFuzz saidWouldn't that just be stating a fact if you're indeed gay??


    no
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 20, 2009 5:53 PM GMT
    I would not be offended at all because I'm GAY! I would say thanks that means all of my hard work has paid off because I'm not trying to look str8.

    I never went through that kind of indentity crisis. Truth be said I just never went through one on any level. There are many form of gayness and you have to wear the one thaat best fits you.

    Don't give a crap about what the next person thinks about you! Do you!
  • silverfox

    Posts: 3178

    Aug 20, 2009 6:35 PM GMT
    outdoorjunkie said
    Sweat saidNote to all the people in these forums lying in wait to respond with snark to every post, over and over: It gets old. And it's not particularly funny.

    No doubt you'll now try to respond to this post snarkily to prove your cleverness.

    Carry on.





    To that end, regarding the OP's question: It would depend entirely on the context. I couldn't say how I would respond unless the situation presented itself. I normally don't get flustered when people try and insult me, and I find that a non-response generally diffuses the situation.

    Whew! I feel much better now.



    Note from the OP

    I don't mind the "snarky-ness" probably because I have been starting threads for a while and you kind of get immune to these sorts of things. What might be helpful is for those who respond to a thread like this "depends upon the context".... to give an example or two. Might be more helpful icon_smile.gif I will give an example below....
  • silverfox

    Posts: 3178

    Aug 20, 2009 6:37 PM GMT
    HndsmKansan saidDepends on who said it and in what context.


    Note from the OP:


    For example, Chris you take great pride in your landscaping (and well you should!).

    If one of your neighbors came by your house and made the comment regarding your landscaping....."Wow, you certainly do have the gay gene!".....

    How would you take that?


  • SFGeoNinja

    Posts: 510

    Aug 20, 2009 6:39 PM GMT
    First off, there is not just a single gay gene. Gayness comes from a variety of factors. So if someone said that to me I would assume that they are ignorant even if they have the best of intentions.

    If a friend said it, I would probably laugh. One of my friends told me once that i have "gay syntax" and it's still a running joke between us.

    If a stranger said it, I would probably throw them into the nearest moving car.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 20, 2009 6:42 PM GMT
    Jesus. Mountain, meet molehill.

    This smacks of 'Now we don't only want you to accept us, we want to tell you how you can talk to us.'

    Do y'all really always see the glass so half-empty (if there's anything in it at all?)
  • outdoorjunkie

    Posts: 118

    Aug 20, 2009 6:58 PM GMT
    silverfox1 said
    HndsmKansan saidDepends on who said it and in what context.


    Note from the OP:


    For example...




    I wasn't trying to evade the question by my answer. I answered honestly. It really does depend on the situation. It's too easy to say something like "I'd be mad if they meant it as a slur" or "it wouldn't matter if a friend said it to me." Words only have power if you react to them.

    Whatever the case was, I'll stand by what I said before in that I don't get flustered when people try and insult me (if that were their intention by saying "gay gene"). So if I were pressed for a definitive answer, I'd say it doesn't mean enough to get a rise out of me. I wouldn't give that phrase the pleasure of my anger.