Whats the most f*cked up thing you've done to someone (funny f*cked up)

  • JP85257

    Posts: 3284

    Aug 20, 2009 5:38 PM GMT
    I'll start.

    Last Friday I made a stripper puke.

    She was prancing around the patio at BS West in Scottsdale AZ and kept lifting up her dress and showing her thong and tits. I POLITELY said: "Honey....You are definately in the wrong place...."

    She looks at me, rubs her pussy and puts her fingers under my nose. For this she must die.

    I looked at her and rubbed my hand across my ass and put my fingers under her nose (it was great cause I was having awesome swamp ass that night) and she threw up in the corner.

    I won.

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    Aug 20, 2009 5:54 PM GMT

    Pulled the chair back at the critical moment from under a nacho holding enemy. He got covered in hot cheese, chili. and fell on his ass! Don't judge me too harshly, I was all of 12 years old at the time. Even today, thinking on it, I refrain from harming people because I still recall what scalding hot cheese can do to a person! However, he did have it coming. icon_twisted.gif
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    Aug 20, 2009 6:40 PM GMT
    A thread with this title already exists my friend
  • JP85257

    Posts: 3284

    Aug 20, 2009 6:47 PM GMT
    AggieMan saidA thread with this title already exists my friend
    Let me be the first to apologize then.....?"
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    Aug 20, 2009 6:53 PM GMT

    Don't even bother, duplicate threads happen all the time.
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    Aug 20, 2009 7:31 PM GMT
    Two friends and I were at a beach resort and played a prank on our friend. While he was in the shower in our hotel room one night, we stole his towel and clothes. He's super built, but a bit shy about showing off.

    He yelled at us to give his stuff back and we told him it was out on the balcony. We laughed as he called us F-ers and did that funny walk where you cover your junk with both hands. When he got out to the balcony, he found out just a boombox (we had the remote to) and no clothes, but it was enough time to slide the glass door closed and latch it. While he yelled, "Let me in!" we were like "What? You need the lights on to find them?" and "What you need music?" So, we turned the balcony lights up and cranked the boombox to a stripper beat. The balcony's faced the beach area of the resort, so there was a bit of an audience. After a few girls wooed at him, he became a good sport and did a short dance for them (he's straight). When we let him back in, he was as red as I've ever seen him and promised to get us back. Which he did later in a big way. I think it was good for him though. He kinda lounged naked the rest of that night and wasn't as shy with us from then after.
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19119

    Aug 20, 2009 7:45 PM GMT
    It was an April Fool's joke I played on a girlfriend of mine many MANY years ago. I was working as a temp one day as the assistant to the V.P. of casting at LORIMAR in Los Angeles which produced the show "DALLAS". So, on company letterhead, I sent my friend a letter from the V.P. of casting telling her that she was being considered to replace Victoria Principal on "DALLAS". Damn, was she pissed when I told her she had better not quit her job in a hair salon. icon_lol.gif
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    Aug 20, 2009 8:07 PM GMT
    It was a long, long time ago (disclamer: I would never do this now!) Anyway, I was fresh out of college, living in an apartment with a garage down under the building. I was given a raft of complaints for having a b.f. spend the night sometimes - and hanging out by the pool with him. The complaints came from a woman who thought we were heathens and she actually tried to use our gay status to have me evicted from the building. One night I noticed the windows down part way on her new Buick. I couldn't resist (being tall) just standing there for a minute one night - - pissing all over her dashboard, instrument panel, steering wheel, seat, console. I never was caught - and wonder how the mess looked as it seeped behind the glass into all the gauges. I know it was an awful thing to do ----- but I justified it at the time because the woman was so hateful - - despite my being courteous to her. The complaints stopped and I never got evicted. The woman wondered which of the residents committed the "act" and she had a lot of choices - - - because she behaved badly to anybody she even suspected might be gay - - or young - - another crime in her eyes.
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    Aug 20, 2009 8:13 PM GMT
    I let a friend stay on my couch and he began to snore. So I took a pillow and tried to suffocate him.

    He woke up obviously but it was the damn funniest face of confusion, fatigue and betrayal I'd ever seen.
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    Aug 20, 2009 8:26 PM GMT
    One of the guys on my team got really drunk, and was all passed out. My buddy and I stripped him, rolled him over on his stomach and put Vaseline, and Astrogilde all over his ass, got a few condoms, made em look used also put some of the soap mixture in em to make it look like, well you know. Left the condoms around him, even one on his ass which stuck because of the Vaseline, and astroglide. Put a few drops of the soap mixture on him to make it look like.. Well you get the idea. The soap mixture was scentless white soap, that already looked like cum, but with the gel, sugar, and salt made it look, and feel even more like the real thing ha. His sheets were dark, so when it dried it looked just like it haha

    We put a lot under him to make it look like he had a really good time. I left a pair of handcuffs on the on the bedpost ha. Man oh man did he freak the hell out when he woke up, and was confused beyond hell haha. I told him how crazy he was last night, how he liked it when I smacked his ass, we were all on the ground cracking up. He actually thought he was that drunk to where that happened it was just hilarious. His ass was hurting because he had fallen down the stairs twice on it, so he was sore when he woke up but with all that stuff on him, he thought he got man slammed haha.

    We're always playing crazy pranks on each other at the training house.. But he kinda deserved it, because this wasn't the first time he had gotten so drunk, and he had promised he'd never do it again, after the first time. ^_^
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    Aug 20, 2009 8:35 PM GMT
    I was giving my aunt away when she got married.
    She married a man from a very, very conservative catholic family.
    The service was a traditional catholic wedding and he and my aunt had to kneel in front of the altar.

    In white out we wrote on the bottom of his shoes, (upside down so everyone could read it when he kneeled)... "Help" on his left shoe, "Me!!" on his right.

    The church was a 30 minute ride in the limo, my aunt, my sister (her maid of honor) and I did several shots of Patron on the way to the church... we were drunk when we got there.

    My uncles parents didn't talk to anyone on our side of the family for months.
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    Aug 20, 2009 8:35 PM GMT
    Rad_d81 saidOne of the guys on my team got really drunk, and was all passed out. My buddy and I stripped him, rolled him over on his stomach and put Vaseline, and Astrogilde all over his ass, got a few condoms, made em look used also put some of the soap mixture in em to make it look like, well you know. Left the condoms around him, even one on his ass which stuck because of the Vaseline, and astroglide. Put a few drops of the soap mixture on him to make it look like.. Well you get the idea. The soap mixture was scentless white soap, that already looked like cum, but with the gel, sugar, and salt made it look, and feel even more like the real thing ha. His sheets were dark, so when it dried it looked just like it haha

    We put a lot under him to make it look like he had a really good time. I left a pair of handcuffs on the on the bedpost ha. Man oh man did he freak the hell out when he woke up, and was confused beyond hell haha. I told him how crazy he was last night, how he liked it when I smacked his ass, we were all on the ground cracking up. He actually thought he was that drunk to where that happened it was just hilarious. His ass was hurting because he had fallen down the stairs twice on it, so he was sore when he woke up but with all that stuff on him, he thought he got man slammed haha.

    We're always playing crazy pranks on each other at the training house.. But he kinda deserved it, because this wasn't the first time he had gotten so drunk, and he had promised he'd never do it again, after the first time. ^_^


    I know some guys that did the same thing except they took one condom shoved it up his ass and let him crap it out the next day. Swore to secrecy and until this day the guy things he got man slammed by one of the rugby team while passed out
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    Aug 21, 2009 1:54 AM GMT
    MsclDrew said
    Rad_d81 saidOne of the guys on my team got really drunk, and was all passed out. My buddy and I stripped him, rolled him over on his stomach and put Vaseline, and Astrogilde all over his ass, got a few condoms, made em look used also put some of the soap mixture in em to make it look like, well you know. Left the condoms around him, even one on his ass which stuck because of the Vaseline, and astroglide. Put a few drops of the soap mixture on him to make it look like.. Well you get the idea. The soap mixture was scentless white soap, that already looked like cum, but with the gel, sugar, and salt made it look, and feel even more like the real thing ha. His sheets were dark, so when it dried it looked just like it haha

    We put a lot under him to make it look like he had a really good time. I left a pair of handcuffs on the on the bedpost ha. Man oh man did he freak the hell out when he woke up, and was confused beyond hell haha. I told him how crazy he was last night, how he liked it when I smacked his ass, we were all on the ground cracking up. He actually thought he was that drunk to where that happened it was just hilarious. His ass was hurting because he had fallen down the stairs twice on it, so he was sore when he woke up but with all that stuff on him, he thought he got man slammed haha.

    We're always playing crazy pranks on each other at the training house.. But he kinda deserved it, because this wasn't the first time he had gotten so drunk, and he had promised he'd never do it again, after the first time. ^_^


    I know some guys that did the same thing except they took one condom shoved it up his ass and let him crap it out the next day. Swore to secrecy and until this day the guy things he got man slammed by one of the rugby team while passed out


    Oh man that's rough ahahaha. I know you're the one who did it to him you naughty boy haha
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    Aug 21, 2009 2:29 AM GMT
    That condom and fake-rape idea sounds hilarious.
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    Aug 21, 2009 2:56 AM GMT
    My last two weeks at Macy's I had to deal with a bridezilla who needed 10 pairs of linen pants and shirts for groomsman for her wedding in Hawaii. She was stressed and nasty because she waited until the last minute to get her shit together. Her and her husband were to fly out two days after my last day at the job.

    I watched her terrorize everyone in the departments around me screaming and banging her fist on counters because it was August and, Tommy Bahama, Perry Ellis and Claiborne were not able to locate all the sizes because the size runs had sold through and the selection was very spotty. When she got to Polo Ralph Lauren she stood in the aisle and snapped her fingers at me and my coworker and said "You will not fucking tell me you don't have what I need" and then went on to bitch about the other departments and how incompetent and useless everyone was. Well, my coworker and I found all of her stuff and got it all transferred in within a week. I left her a message on her voice mail telling her that everything was in and ready for her to pick up. She called back in a fit telling me that she wanted it all transferred to a different store and I should have anticipated that need (she admitted she never asked me to transfer it to a different store than mine) because her phone number's area code was the same as the store she wanted it transferred to. She actually called me stupid and incompetent for not being able to read her mind. She didn't once thank me for pulling off a miracle or putting up with her psychotic bullshit.

    ...........so I waited a day and transferred everything from Seattle to the clearance center in Spokane, WA. Two to three days estimated processing and transit time just to make it into that store's system with the barest chance that they could get it all back together in time to overnight it back. I took the last of my personal and sick time for my last scheduled days.

    They didn't get it all back together in time and I will always take great pride in the fact that I ruined some horrific bitch's wedding.icon_lol.gif



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    Aug 21, 2009 3:13 AM GMT
    GuerrillaSodomite saidMy last two weeks at Macy's I had to deal with a bridezilla who needed 10 pairs of linen pants and shirts for groomsman for her wedding in Hawaii. She was stressed and nasty because she waited until the last minute to get her shit together. Her and her husband were to fly out two days after my last day at the job.

    I watched her terrorize everyone in the departments around me screaming and banging her fist on counters because it was August and, Tommy Bahama, Perry Ellis and Claiborne were not able to locate all the sizes because the size runs had sold through and the selection was very spotty. When she got to Polo Ralph Lauren she stood in the aisle and snapped her fingers at me and my coworker and said "You will not fucking tell me you don't have what I need" and then went on to bitch about the other departments and how incompetent and useless everyone was. Well, my coworker and I found all of her stuff and got it all transferred in within a week. I left her a message on her voice mail telling her that everything was in and ready for her to pick up. She called back in a fit telling me that she wanted it all transferred to a different store and I should have anticipated that need (she admitted she never asked me to transfer it to a different store than mine) because her phone number's area code was the same as the store she wanted it transferred to. She actually called me stupid and incompetent for not being able to read her mind. She didn't once thank me for pulling off a miracle or putting up with her psychotic bullshit.

    ...........so I waited a day and transferred everything from Seattle to the clearance center in Spokane, WA. Two to three days estimated processing and transit time just to make it into that store's system with the barest chance that they could get it all back together in time to overnight it back. I took the last of my personal and sick time for my last scheduled days.

    They didn't get it all back together in time and I will always take great pride in the fact that I ruined some horrific bitch's wedding.icon_lol.gif





    Love it. Mean, but I am assuming that in person she was beyond belief. lol
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    Aug 21, 2009 3:18 AM GMT
    we painted a tuxedo onto the entire torso of my passed out-drunk friend. We woke up to him screaming at us as he had to take the paint off as he was getting ready to go to work.
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    Aug 21, 2009 3:35 AM GMT
    I had come home from a fishing trip, to find some-one had been in my home, and gathered everthing in the lounge room, my privacy had been invaded and some-one was going to pay.

    I found out it was one of my mates Steven, and two Mormon Missionaries.

    For Steven ( I was living in the bush at the time) I drove around looking for roadkill, and I found a festering wombat covered in maggots. When he went to leave to go to work the next morning, he found this sitting in the drivers seat of his new car. He was not happy, and could not stop vomiting, on removing it, and cleanning his car.icon_biggrin.gif

    The missionaries. I got into there flat put everything in their lounge room, glad raped their toilet, put fish guts inside their curtain rods, but all their cloths outside, took all the light globs out, as it was dark.

    Covered their car in toilet paper, and honey. They got home and seen their car, and thought is was their neighbors, and did the same thing to their car, and when they come out to see them doing this tho their car, and then they accused them for their flat too. I was parked just up the road, and then they seen my drive by slowly, with big smile on my face, and they realised their neighbors had nothing to do with it.icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif
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    Aug 21, 2009 3:46 AM GMT
    Picture it ... Raleigh, Halloween 2007.

    I have 2 wrestling singlets ... *shifts eyes* ... for ummmm ... icon_redface.gif ... In any event, I had 2 singlets. I gave one singlet to my boyfriend since he wanted to be a wrestler and parade around the bar half-naked. I conveniently gave the other singlet to an incredibly attractive bartender at the local gay bar.

    I didn't tell either guy about the other singlet.

    Needless to say, when we showed up at the bar ... The door man said, 'Hey, one of our bartenders has the EXACT same costume.' When the boyfriend and I get into the bar, he makes eyes with the bartender. They both glare at me with shit-eating grins on their faces. The bartender takes off the singlet, flips it inside out, and reverses it since the other side has a different color. Pictures were taken and all parties were pleased. It was even more amusing because my friends said, "Holy shit, I didn't realize that you could be THAT evil Nick. Kudos!" icon_twisted.gif

    Unfortunately, the three-way didn't follow suit ... although, it did make for nice wank off fodder after the fact.
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    Aug 21, 2009 4:28 AM GMT

    My sister had this freakoid neighbor that would come visit. I despised the kid. At age 7, I whipped out the wanger and pissed on him. He no longer came around when I was home.

    icon_biggrin.gif
  • JP85257

    Posts: 3284

    Aug 21, 2009 4:31 PM GMT
    I have done many mean things to people that are really funny.

    I made a stripper cry once at a titty bar. I look back on my life right now and most of my funny stories involve me being mean to strippers. Hmmm....

    Oh well.

    good stories boys. Keep em coming!