Relationship-weary RJ'ers take heed: Pay the Price of Admission

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    Aug 20, 2009 9:27 PM GMT
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ObrFwjesno - Dan Savage

    Based on the many posts on here where people whine that nobody out there is good enough or meets enough of your bitchy criteria, this video is for you.
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    Aug 20, 2009 9:59 PM GMT






  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 20, 2009 10:03 PM GMT
    I sooooooo agree with Dan Savage! thank you for sharing it!!


    ♥ Leandro ♥
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    Aug 20, 2009 10:27 PM GMT
    Dan Savage is awesome. I love how bluntly honest and on point he often is. Thanks for this link, badmikeyt.
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    Aug 21, 2009 2:15 AM GMT


    Damn good stuff - especially at 4:45 minutes.
  • cityguy39

    Posts: 967

    Aug 21, 2009 4:00 AM GMT
    Dan is right on!!!!!! Now all you twenty somethings who think they have found the one WATCH!!!!
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    Sep 10, 2009 7:51 PM GMT
    This video is great! Awesome advice. I needed to hear that.
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    Sep 10, 2009 8:32 PM GMT
    He's pretty amazing!
  • swimbikerun

    Posts: 2835

    Sep 10, 2009 8:50 PM GMT
    BAM! Dan is right on with this, though I do not personally like the term "Lie". It is more accurately an "Idealized Self" the difference being a lie is intentionally misleading which is hard to keep up during an LTR. But the 'Idealized Self' is fully incorporated into the concious 'normal' personality.
    A murderer, to take an extreme example, rarely if ever sees him or herself as such.
  • danisnotstr8

    Posts: 2579

    Sep 10, 2009 9:44 PM GMT
    This was so great. Thank you.
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    Sep 10, 2009 9:52 PM GMT
    ....And that's the way it is.
  • jrs1

    Posts: 4388

    Sep 15, 2009 11:54 PM GMT


    " ... there is no settling down without some settling for ... "

    more people need to see this - gay, straight, or otherwise. wonderful post.
  • cbrett

    Posts: 609

    Sep 16, 2009 12:23 AM GMT
    this is great icon_smile.gif
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    Sep 16, 2009 12:32 AM GMT
    You can always count on Savage to not only call out the elephant in the room but to name it, train it and own it.
  • DrewT

    Posts: 1327

    Sep 16, 2009 12:48 AM GMT
    Wow! I think he's right on!

    "There is no 'one' out there for you."

    I've been saying this forever, it's finally nice to someone else say it better than me. Thank goodness!
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    Sep 16, 2009 12:51 AM GMT
    This is good stuff....

    <-- currently in self-reflection
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    Sep 16, 2009 1:58 AM GMT
    Dude - of all the relationship advice I've heard in the past few years - this has to be some of the best - and put so well from someone who has a real life track record on the unheard of long term gay relationship.

    The "one" does not fucking exist.
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    Sep 16, 2009 2:04 AM GMT
    this is awesome! I loved the part about guys who have "deal breaker" lists. Nothing would chase me off quicker than a guy with one of these lists.
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    Sep 16, 2009 2:12 AM GMT
    I think the moral of the story is that most of the beautiful or unbeautiful single gay men in the world are so because they are actively working against any other realistic outcome.

    Of all of the men I know who are in LTR's of any significant length, they've all gotten that the price of admission is worth the thrill of the ride.
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    Sep 16, 2009 2:12 AM GMT
    I had the pleasure of seeing him when he came up here to Alaska. He was at our college and it was AWESOME.
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    Sep 16, 2009 2:16 AM GMT
    he's makes perfectly good sense! awesome wisdom
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    Sep 23, 2009 10:51 AM GMT
    I definitely agree with Dan - thanks for posting thisicon_smile.gif
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    Sep 23, 2009 11:26 AM GMT
    I love me some dan!!
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    Sep 23, 2009 11:48 AM GMT
    I've always found Dan to be insightful, amazingly and bluntly honest, and funny. So far, I've never heard him say anything I've disagreed with.
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    Sep 23, 2009 12:35 PM GMT
    I really needed to hear this. Today would have been 4yrs that my Ex bf and I have been friends. I miss him as my bf sure but I miss him even more as my best friend. I really really at least want him back as my best friend. Hopefully today we'll have lunch or dinner today to remember a happier time in our relationship. He's told me that he loves me still and that he misses me. I have to believe that there is a chance. I hate that he doesnt call when he says he will. Or that he's in the closet or that he spaces out and is very OCD at times. He forgets alot but just like Dan says, I look past alot of it because its like Joel Osteen has said you'll be happy 80% of the time with someone and miserable 20% of it. you can either dwell on the 20% and go find someone that fills that but then lacks the rest... or just enjoy and build up the rest. I hope these last 2 months of seperation will lead to a better stronger relationship than before... friends, bf's, whatever... I gotta have hope. I have to believe. And if not then, God lead me to the guy that is meant for me. Something tells me though... he's already here. thank you very much for sharing this with us. I really apprechiate it.