Personal qualities you aspire to possess

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 21, 2009 3:03 PM GMT
    Some of our recent threads have touched on moral/ethical issues, gentlemanly conduct, etc.

    These threads got me thinking about what the personal qualities are that I value in myself -- in other words, to the extent that I live up to these qualities I consider myself to be a better person, and to the extent that I fail to live up to them, I consider myself to be a worse person. (Interestingly, they don't seem to be the same qualities that I assess others by.)

    The personal qualities I most aspire to are:

    • Wisdom - not the same thing as intelligence; I'm referring to insight and good judgement.
    • Resolve - firmness of purpose; the strength of character to stand behind what I believe is right.
    • Grace - not physical grace, but as in the expression "grace under fire"; similar to the idea of 'poise'.
    • Compassion - caring for others and wanting to help them; being understanding when others turn out to be human and fail just like I do.
    • Gratitude/Humility - these are two different ideas, but they're very closely linked in my mind. Humility is about thinking unpretentiously and not thinking of myself as inherently better or different than others. Gratitude is sometimes due to others for the compassion they show me, and sometimes is a generalized feeling of being grateful for everything my life has been.
    I was tempted to add 'joy' (or some version of it) to this list, but it seems more like an experience than a quality. It's certainly something that I wish for myself and others, but I'm not sure it's the same type of thing.

    EDIT: These are the types of things that guide my ethical decisions... this is why I said in another thread that something like Truth is less important to my ethical decision-making. I would be more likely to be concerned about a given action being compassionate than truthful.
  • jlly_rnchr

    Posts: 1759

    Aug 21, 2009 4:44 PM GMT
    The non-dickish version of confidence. It seems to be something that a lot of men want in the guys they date. Personally, I thought my little insecurities were kind of endearing, but I don't think that's the case.
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    Aug 21, 2009 6:40 PM GMT
    I'm actually something of a prick with compassion.

    I'm militantly compassionate and I get in people's faces about their lack of compassion, and begin to talk down to them and start bludgeoning them with my intelligence. It's not really compassionate of me but I really have no patience for people without compassion.

    So... compassion?
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    Aug 21, 2009 6:44 PM GMT
    makavelli saidSo... compassion?
    Ha ha!

    Personally, I could use a little more patience. My listening skills suffer when I'm in a rush, and it causes misunderstandings.
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    Aug 21, 2009 6:50 PM GMT
    jprichva saidToleration for idiots. I have too little.



    .........And patience with kids crossing your manicured front lawn! Don't keep turning on the sprinklers or grabbing your hose to wet the little tots all down!
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    Aug 21, 2009 7:08 PM GMT
    I need to learn not to pee on other peoples' lawns.

    But really, I need to learn sympathy. I'm good at empathy, but not so much sympathy. And I occasionally can be just a tad judgmental.
  • JP85257

    Posts: 3284

    Aug 21, 2009 7:32 PM GMT
    I certainly could use:

    Tact
    Patience

    I have neither. Albeit funny....I have neither.
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    Aug 21, 2009 7:47 PM GMT
    jprichva saidToleration for idiots. I have too little.


    ...but there are so may around.
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    Aug 21, 2009 10:09 PM GMT
    What I value most in terms of personal qualities I think I already have. I don't want to enumerate them as I also have bad traits to counter those. Point is, I like myself as a person. Though not as the whole package. icon_razz.gif

    What I want to have (though I don't necessarily value them):

    • Motivation - because most of the times, I tend to go with the 'why bother' and 'I'm gonna do it tomorrow I swear!' school of thought (like the fact that I'm idling on RJ when I should be making space lazors at the moment).
    • Patience - I do not like wasting time doing nothing (even if I'm not doing anything constructive, at least it's something). And more, I do not like wasting time with idiots.
    • Humility - because I can be damned arrogant when I think I'm right. And all of you are wrong of course.
    • A little bit more Apathy - because I care too much what other people think. I don't seem to have the capability of just shutting off what other people are saying or feeling about me.
    • Confidence - or at least get something I can be confident about. Like being pretty for instance.

      ... WHAT?!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 21, 2009 10:13 PM GMT
    This is a great thread.

    I want to learn how to take things less seriously and learn how to relax more. In that way, I know I can be more authentic in more situations.
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    Aug 21, 2009 10:19 PM GMT
    Forgiveness. I think everyone, including myself, needs to have more compassion and forgiveness in their heart. There would be a lot less hate and revenge seeking if people could just move past their hurt feelings. I know its easier said then done, but it will bring you one step closer to self actualization.
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    Aug 22, 2009 2:35 AM GMT
    . . . though I'm much better than I once was, I still need to have much better self discipline . . . far too often I don't live up to my own standards . . .
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Aug 22, 2009 2:40 AM GMT
    patience, commitment and motivation
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    Aug 22, 2009 2:01 PM GMT
    I'd love an EXTRA dose of wisdom. With that, I think life would be both easier and more fulfilling.
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    Aug 22, 2009 2:18 PM GMT
    Cool thread.

    All the traits listed are somethings to be aspired.

    Having a great ear, being a bud, but not a doormat, being strong, yet sensitive, are qualities that any balanced dude already has.

    If you can count on a guy, then he's a keeper. Just never, never USE ANYONE for your own selfish gain. That's NOT what it takes to be a hunk with a heart.

    Wishing everyone Mega hairy muscle hugs full of happy days and sexy nights.
  • 1974Warrior

    Posts: 90

    Aug 22, 2009 2:25 PM GMT
    Acceptance..of myself and others, and compassion, there is so much suffering in this world that I can do something to make a difference in someone's life just I'm to lazy and selfish to start.
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    Aug 22, 2009 4:46 PM GMT
    SWL2 saidHumility is a very beautiful word but, it can also mean allowing others to destroy your self estieem along it's path.
    It could mean that... if one lacked Resolve. That's one of the reasons Resolve is also one of the things I aspire to.

    SWL2 saidCompassion? Compassion for what? What do you see wrong with the world? You sound like someone that seems something you cannot bring to surface but, want to change. Truth should be the backbone of your decision making. Philosophy is beautiful but, it doesn.t dismiss purpose. I'm sure in war, they looked upon the victims that were dead with compassion but, that doesn't mean it was right.
    Hmm... I'd be happy to discuss this more, but I'm not sure I understand what you're saying here. FWIW, I was referring to Compassion for other individuals.

    I feel that Truth -- by itself -- is a very poor basis for decision making. If Truth is is really the determining factor of right and wrong, then any attempt to deceive another or obscure the truth is inherently, always wrong. I simply don't believe that.

    IMO, we foster "untruths" every single day for very good reasons that range from simply making others feel good to protecting national security.