When someone sends you a really long and genuine message but you're not interested. Should you reply?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 22, 2009 7:20 AM GMT
    Is it rude to ignore it? Or is it ruder to send a short "not interested" message.

    Miss Manners would know.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 22, 2009 7:33 AM GMT

    Prolly that's a lengthy generic e-mail, with your name just replaced in it.

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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 22, 2009 7:35 AM GMT
    highly-trafficked bottom

    Cheeky bugger! icon_eek.gif

    Zimmy, you're probably right.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 22, 2009 2:01 PM GMT
    No reply? Ignore?.........Bad manners and cold.

    Not interested despite the sincere message? Send a short reply of gratitude and give any reason why you don't feel the same.

    The worst thing you can do is "not want to hurt his feelings" so you give him mixed signals and play along, all the while knowing you are not interested.

    A firm polite clear response is the right way to go.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 22, 2009 2:23 PM GMT
    A similar thing happened to me. I just sent someone a compliment and got no response. I even e-mailed them back and told them what a rude person he was.I at least send a thanks. Its just good manners. No wonder some are still single!
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Aug 22, 2009 2:25 PM GMT
    Miss Manners would say it's rude to ignore any message that is not outright abusive or insulting.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 22, 2009 2:26 PM GMT
    Reply, but be brief and gentle. Definitely don't lead the guy on if you are not interested.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 22, 2009 2:28 PM GMT
    Lol.... One thing that i cannot stand or that i cannot stand to do is send a message or get a message and not reply.... men should either say you know what you are really sweet and attractive im just not feeling you... its not hard.. and its not like you are going to meet this person. so just let them know up front how you feel!
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Aug 22, 2009 2:30 PM GMT
    Take the time and reply... if your not interested you can either be very direct or make it clear you aren't and still be very reasonable. No reason to hurt any feelings.

    Maybe a friendship will be made.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 22, 2009 2:37 PM GMT
    Yes. Reply. You can be nice but let him know you're not interested. I've gotten a few on here despite my profile saying I'm not looking for more than friends.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 22, 2009 2:41 PM GMT
    Personally I prefer to send back a small but polite message saying, He is not what am looking for and thanking him at the same time for sending me that nice message. Usually everyone I have sent that message too have responded back with a thank you note for being polite and responding back rather than just igonring it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 22, 2009 2:42 PM GMT
    reply, just say thanks for the compliments at least
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 22, 2009 2:47 PM GMT
    charlitos saidreply, just say thanks for the compliments at least


    you never speak to me no more icon_cry.gif

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    Aug 22, 2009 2:50 PM GMT
    winstonguy saidA similar thing happened to me. I just sent someone a compliment and got no response. I even e-mailed them back and told them what a rude person he was.I at least send a thanks. Its just good manners. No wonder some are still single!


    it's not rude...he just wasn't interested. RJ is just a website! it's not reality...and you're just sent him a compliment via a message...not like it's some cordial message to "Her Majesty, The Queen". lol

    and the fact that you checked to see if the message was read and THEN told him that he was rude is quite comical...people like you continually to provide free entertainment for rude people like me. if i don't find someone (or something) to interesting, i won't respond to them. no different than a credit card company sending someone an offer and they just trash it.
  • Nicobx15

    Posts: 54

    Aug 22, 2009 3:00 PM GMT
    Of course you should reply!!!! It's called common courtesy!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 22, 2009 3:00 PM GMT
    It is NOT rude to ignore messages from people you don't find interesting/attractive, regardless of how sincere they're being

    I get a fuckton of messages daily (especially after being the first "voted man of the day")...some messages are from some FINE hunnies, some are stupid and most of them are just weird or disgusting. i enjoy conversing with people on this website, especially the sharp tongued ones, but bottom line though, if the person just seems like a dweeb (even if they're trying their best to impress me), i dont respond. if responded to every cheesy "romance" message i get daily, it would take waaay too much time. fuck that.

    this is just a website...though informative and full of hot guys (or sometimes just pictures of hot guys), it's still just a website...a vain example of entertainment. it aint reality...
  • Nicobx15

    Posts: 54

    Aug 22, 2009 3:05 PM GMT
    luguburious..the difference is that someone has expressed an interest in you PERSONALLY...whereas the credit card company has no interest in you PERSONALLY lol I don't know what was worse...your complete disregard for other people or your analogy. Either way, it takes two minutes to respond...you say it's not a message to "her majesty the queen"...so stop acting like "her majesty the queen" and take a minute to show some courtesy!!! ;)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 22, 2009 3:07 PM GMT
    Lostboy said
    charlitos saidreply, just say thanks for the compliments at least


    you never speak to me no more icon_cry.gif



    uh? you abandoned me first! now im mad SmileyCentral.comimage.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 22, 2009 3:09 PM GMT
    One word:

    Basti.

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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 22, 2009 3:13 PM GMT
    Nicobx15 saidluguburious..the difference is that someone has expressed an interest in you PERSONALLY...whereas the credit card company has no interest in you PERSONALLY lol I don't know what was worse...your complete disregard for other people or your analogy. Either way, it takes two minutes to respond...you say it's not a message to "her majesty the queen"...so stop acting like "her majesty the queen" and take a minute to show some courtesy!!! ;)


    um, you're 40 and latin...why are you addressing me?

    i want to be a queen now. so, go address people within your own scope, peasant.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 22, 2009 3:17 PM GMT
    With all the wood in that cross you're bearing you could rebuild the 9th ward of New Orleans. icon_smile.gif

    If you don't care that people think you're an asscake, don't respond. If you believe in karma, do.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 22, 2009 3:19 PM GMT
    If you know the person well, reply with the same consideration.

    But I have come to the realization that when complete strangers dump a lot into an email on me "Oh, i saw you wrestling, it's so hot, I think about being in those legs, would you do that to me, let me tell you about how much I think about it.......and on, and on, and on...." that I have to be pleasantly short the first time, and then ignore the next time.

    It took me years to feel OK to not have to respond to every email. On AOL, I totally block anyone from seeing me in their buddy list except two close friends.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 22, 2009 3:19 PM GMT
    For pete's sake, how often are we going to have one of these topics? every 2 weeks? month?

    yes it is rude, uncivil.

    people are ill mannered and assholes!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 22, 2009 3:23 PM GMT
    and the fact that you checked to see if the message was read and THEN told him that he was rude is quite comical...people like you continually to provide free entertainment for rude people like me.

    Oooooh, these young people, they're very harsh. icon_eek.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 22, 2009 3:31 PM GMT
    Blackguy4you saidFor pete's sake, how often are we going to have one of these topics? every 2 weeks? month?

    yes it is rude, uncivil.

    people are ill mannered and assholes!


    We prefer to be thought of as "unwholesome". ha