Aug 24, 2009 3:33 PM GMT
Recently my boyfriend of almost two years broke up with me. I suppose it wasn’t a total shock he was getting more distant a few weeks prior. I really didn’t know what to do at the time. I really tried my hardest to make the relationship work because while we had our flaws like any relationship overall it was great and I thought he was the “one”. Perhaps I just happen to fall for the “new” gays. I suppose what I hate most is that he said that he wanted to be himself again and not be in a serious relationship, but its been a month now and he already started to date another guy. I’ve taken the breakup a lot harder than I should, some days I find myself completely okay and others I can hardly pull myself out of bed or sometimes just spontaneously cry. I don’t mean to be so emotional but I just can’t help myself. That’s the other thing he said he still wanted to be friends and he acts as though everything is okay on his end its like emotionally I’m dead to him. My friends persist that I shouldn’t be friends with him right now because it only makes it harder. So we went and saw Kathy Griffin together since we had purchased the tickets while we were still together (she was great btw). On the way home I told him that we just couldn’t be friends. That I obviously felt more for him than he felt for me and I wanted more than just friendships. I wish that I could be there for him, but I can’t perhaps its selfish but I can’t put myself through it. I find myself still very much emotionally and physically attracted to him. Rather than feeling relieved I felt like shit I feel like now I’m the one who broke up with him, but to top it off it didn’t seem like he cared. In fact here we are a month later and he talks about how we bicker over stupid stuff and that he wants to prove him mother wrong with that perfect relationship. Perhaps I’m blinded by how I feel towards him and thinking our relationship wasn’t that bad or that perfection really is how you see it. But is there truly this perfect relationship were no bickering occurs and everything is 100% peachy? Or is that just setting yourself up for inevitable disappointment.