Ever molested as a child? Have any lasting effect on you?

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    Aug 24, 2009 6:14 PM GMT
    I only came close to possibly being molested in a public restroom, but it affected me very much. Not an easy thing to admit, especially if you've revealed your real name on RJ. Another reason I limit my identity online. Having posted something else here today about circumcision made me recall this incident.

    I was nearly 14, on a family vacation at a US seaside resort. I needed to pee while we were strolling along the boardwalk, and when I saw a public men's room I asked my parents to please wait for me. Inside were several of the old style urinals that went to the floor, with no partitions between them, nor were their sides very deep.

    I had just unzipped when an older man, perhaps 50s, took the one next to me, though others were vacant. I leaned forward a little more for some privacy, whereupon he said: "Don't fall in!" to me in a joking manner.

    That spooked me a little, and I found myself slow to start. "Can't go?" he next said to me. I was getting annoyed at his attention about something I considered none of his business, and uneasy that he was looking right at my dick.

    He then proceeded to lecture me on the proper way to take a piss! I forget all his exact words, but he explained that I needed to step back and relax a little, I was leaning forward too much, and, get this, holding myself wrong! He then told me to watch how he did it. I couldn't believe a complete stranger was giving me peeing lessons at my age!

    And I must admit I glanced over, as he pulled his own very large dick way out of his pants, maybe already semi-hard, and was startled to see he had a foreskin, a bit of male anatomy I'm not sure I really knew about up until then. Boys my own age were almost universally circumcised, at least the ones I'd seen, and I'd observed very few naked adult men in my life, mostly summer camp counselors when I was younger.

    So I was initially mesmerized by the strange sight, thinking maybe he was deformed. He then said it was important to first pull the "skin" back as he demonstrated for me, and I'm sure my eyes got even wider. But then he asked me something about whether I liked to stare at other men, odd since he was the one asking me to look at him.

    I vaguely remember him starting to reach for my dick, saying he would show me, and at that point I became frightened, though I'm not sure I fully understood what might be happening, just that it was very weird and instinctively wrong. I quickly pulled away as he was still speaking, and zipped up without ever peeing, with him calling behind me to wait as I ran for the door.

    I joined my parents outside without telling them what had happened, nor that I still had to use the restroom. Some distance farther down the boardwalk was another men’s restroom, combined with a changing room & shower to one side for swimmers, and my parents were surprised I needed to use it so soon.

    But when I went in it was busier than the other one, and with guys standing all around me at the urinals, I found I was blocked from starting, for the first time in my life. I couldn't figure out why I wouldn't go, but finally left with my bladder still full and beginning to hurt.

    I think it was close to an hour before we got back to our hotel, where I finally relieved myself in the privacy of our own bathroom. By that point I was in a lot of pain from needing to go for so long. And for a long time afterwards I had a “shy bladder” in public restrooms, which can still return to bother me even today, especially at urinals without partitions where guys can look at me, making me choose to use a stall instead.

    Another effect on me may be my great dislike of gay restroom sex, though that’s something I can easily do without anyway. And perhaps also my passionate hatred of pedophiles, though that's just as well, too. But I still hate that guy for what I think he attempted to do with me, and that it had such lasting bad practical consequences for me that linger even to this day.
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    Aug 24, 2009 6:46 PM GMT
    What happened to you was wrong, and Im glad that you got out and away before he could do any (more) damage. Pedophilia is a scary thing, and it can have a extremely devastating effect on children. You were never physically touched, but it did still have a lasting psychological effect. I hope that you have, over time, been able to let go of what happened, and are learning to progress, but I still completely understand how you feel. Good luck to you.
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    Aug 24, 2009 7:17 PM GMT
    Epiphany1882 saidWhat happened to you was wrong, and Im glad that you got out and away before he could do any (more) damage. Pedophilia is a scary thing, and it can have a extremely devastating effect on children. You were never physically touched, but it did still have a lasting psychological effect. I hope that you have, over time, been able to let go of what happened, and are learning to progress, but I still completely understand how you feel. Good luck to you.

    Thank you. I'm 60 now, so that's how long it's lasted already. Gotten better over time, of course, but unlikely to ever go away totally at this age. It mainly happens when I feel a lack of privacy, that another man might be able to deliberately watch me.

    Though it makes no difference if my partner sees me, we can be in the same home bathroom together without any difficulty, and I never close the door with just him in the house when I pee. But I feel completely unthreatened & relaxed with him, not to mention that he's done a lot more with me than just look, being allowed to know all my body's secrets, so I have nothing to suspect or fear when he's around.