zdrew is playing in bathtub, alone and horny, or: HOW VOTING FOR RJ MOTD RUINED MY SEX LIFE

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    Aug 25, 2009 6:02 AM GMT
    I've gotta vent, people. I've held my tongue and held my tongue (hell, I've even thought of asking my fine young friend lilTanker to hold my tongue for me), but I can't.

    Tonight, I have to get something (besides lilTanker, who can stay) off my chest.

    This coordinated voting for MOTD just hurts ma little head, children. Let me tell you what a pain it's been. Ever since we've been granted the godlike powers to appoint our own MOTD by popular vote, the system has devolved into a cliquish popularity contest. Not that anything's wrong with that, of course, but it also leads to some pretty nasty little conundrums.

    Let me tell you about what happened to me today, and why voting for MOTD has ruined my sex life.

    At eight AM I voted for LispyStud12Cut, as GoldenBoyButtBanger19 suggested. I did this because GoldenBoyButtBanger19 is hot as hell, and I thought maybe voting his choice for MOTD would get me laid.

    Then, not two hours later, right as I was recovering from GBBB19's expert proctal ministrations, HorseHungJizzWhore_SeattleWA asked me to vote for his best friend, JockyCoxswain_Dublin. Well, I really, really wanted to get with HHJW, so I tried to vote again, but -- alas -- I'd already used my vote for the day. HHJW was so much hotter than GBBB19, and I really wanted to vote for his guy, but I couldn't.

    And on and on it went, all day long. Hunk after hunk passed me by because I couldn't vote his best friend as MOTD.

    And now, I'm sitting here devastated and alone, having masturbated furiously in the bathtub while crying for the past nine hours. The water is cold and salty from my tears, and my weiner has shriveled down to a wee nub. I'm cold and lonely, and all because HHJW wouldn't go down on me because I couldn't vote for his bestie JockyCoxswain.

    Meanwhile, GoldenBoyButtBanger, whose friend I did vote for, won't return my calls. I feel so dirty and used.

    Damn you, RealJock and your topsy-turvy, popularity-contest Man of the Day competition. Thanks to you, I know what those losers who go on shooting rampages because they can't vote for multiple American Idol contestants in the same night feel like (Justin or Kelly...seriously? How can it not be Justin AND Kelly, ferchrissakes??!).

    To keep this from happening again (and I'm sure I'm not the only poor, horny soul harmed by this vicious new MOTD voting system), I hereby recommend a new system. Rather than a daily MOTD recommendation being announced in the forums, maybe a thread can be released each Sunday with the next weeks' recommendations. That way, we can get our dates...err...candidates all settled in advance and avoid nasty situations like mine.

    I've taken the liberty of generating a list for this weeks' MOTD picks:

    "The Man of the Day recommendation for Monday, August 24, 2009: ClassySlut6969.

    The Man of the Day recommendation for Tuesday, August 25, 2009: UpTheBum2009.

    The Man of the Day recommendation for Wednesday, August 26, 2009: WimpyJock_LA.

    The Man of the Day recommendation for Thursday, August 27, 2009: BlowNGo4U.

    The Man of the Day recommendation for Friday, August 28, 2009: PrimaDonna78.

    [There are no forum MOTD nods for the weekend. We have to give the chat junkies their chance sometime, after all.]


    Thank you, dear RealJockers, for listening to my desperate plea. With your help and support, we can all prevent poor, horny lads -- like myself -- from going blue in the balls ever again. With just a little foresight (and extra lube, for those of us without foreskins), we can create a better world. Ladies and gentlemen of RealJock, I urge you to be the change.




    This post paid for by supporters of the Elect ZDREW 2012 campaign, Zacharius Drewsinski, chair; by Ridulosity brand bullshit (when only the best bullshit will do!); and by the continued support of viewers like you.
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    Aug 25, 2009 6:12 AM GMT
    When your done crying in the tub I've a big fluffy towel that i can wrap around you to dry you off icon_smile.gif


    *giggles at Zachy* your just a doll!
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    Aug 25, 2009 6:15 AM GMT
    BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAicon_lol.gificon_biggrin.gificon_rolleyes.gificon_lol.gificon_biggrin.gif That was fuckin hilarious.
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    Aug 25, 2009 6:17 AM GMT
    icon_lol.gif

    This is my favorite part:

    zdrew saidAnd now, I'm sitting here devastated and alone, having masturbated furiously in the bathtub while crying for the past nine hours.
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    Aug 25, 2009 6:24 AM GMT
    lol

    Is the Man of the Day not a man any other day?
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    Aug 25, 2009 6:25 AM GMT
    You are absolutely hilarious. Hope your raw dick starts to feel better.
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    Aug 25, 2009 7:23 AM GMT
    Oh Zacharia Drewsinski III. Forget about the losers, like totally! pompomzu6.gif


    Samanda Twins - Barbie Girl - The funniest videos clips are here
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    Aug 25, 2009 9:17 AM GMT
    I like this... this is good.

    It made me smile.
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    Aug 25, 2009 9:42 AM GMT


    If you really wanna get laid tell your fav guy to change his handle to MOTD and this way no one else can claim his title.......EVER! a permanant fixture.
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    Aug 25, 2009 1:20 PM GMT
    UpTheBum2009? LMFAO!
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    Aug 25, 2009 2:12 PM GMT
    lol, zdrew - your poor lil winky! That must be some ring around the tub.

    Next time LIE, and say you haven't voted yet, and explain to those guys you require physical convincing of the sordid and sexually depraved type.....icon_lol.gif


    -Marvin Effing Poppins (Mary's gay brother they never told you about)
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    Aug 25, 2009 2:44 PM GMT

    I like that....PrimaDonna78, makes me consider a name change. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Aug 25, 2009 2:47 PM GMT
    JakeBenson saidicon_lol.gif

    This is my favorite part:

    zdrew saidAnd now, I'm sitting here devastated and alone, having masturbated furiously in the bathtub while crying for the past nine hours.

    I masturbated furiously to the thought of zdrew's tears.
  • crls64

    Posts: 95

    Aug 25, 2009 2:51 PM GMT
    Very, Very Funny!icon_lol.gif

    Your idea is good but how about keeping the old way of finding the MOTD?
    It seems EVERYONE would then get a chance at that incredible honor icon_lol.gif and we wouldn't have to agonize in the arduous and mind debilitating icon_wink.gif task of choosing said MOTD!
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    Aug 25, 2009 2:53 PM GMT
    OMG Zach.... you DO need a job. In the mean time travel north and I certainly will comfort you in your time of need (hee hee hee). Just lay your head right here.... a little to the left there....yeah, right there!
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    Aug 25, 2009 3:16 PM GMT
    crls64 saidVery, Very Funny!icon_lol.gif

    Your idea is good but how about keeping the old way of finding the MOTD?
    It seems EVERYONE would then get a chance at that incredible honor icon_lol.gif and we wouldn't have to agonize in the arduous and mind debilitating icon_wink.gif task of choosing said MOTD!


    I agree... I kinda liked it when it was a surprise and (ostensibly) everyone got a turn. Now it's a beauty/popularity contest.
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    Aug 25, 2009 3:20 PM GMT
    So funny...some people have way too much time on their hands. I'm sure you'll make it through this ordeal.
    I couldn't agree more though, the whole process has become a popularity contest. The few time I did vote it was for those I truly believed deserved it based on their profile, forum posts and such.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Aug 25, 2009 3:43 PM GMT
    Well my dear Zach, my suggestion is we place you in charge of coordination for the MOTD here on
    RJ... maybe you could do this while looking for a job there in the Phoenix area...


    LOL

    Chris? RJ folks?

    icon_biggrin.gif
  • coolarmydude

    Posts: 9190

    Aug 25, 2009 4:16 PM GMT
    Like, OMG! The EXACT...SAME...THING happened to me in the election lines last November! (where's the flick-the-hair emoticon??) icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Aug 25, 2009 4:26 PM GMT
    This is why ZDrew is one of my favorite people on this site or any other (except on RedState. You really need to let this Ron Paul thing go, dear).
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    Aug 25, 2009 7:58 PM GMT
    For the record, I don't have too little to do. I have too little motivation to do the things I should do. There's a big difference.


    Now, where's my big fluffy towel, Benjipoo? And GG, hands off my handle. Unless, of course, you want me to vote you MOTD.
  • auryn

    Posts: 2061

    Aug 25, 2009 8:08 PM GMT
    Maybe this will make you feel better.

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    Aug 25, 2009 11:06 PM GMT
    it is here my sweet icon_biggrin.gif it is big, it is fluffy and it is warm *nods*
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    Aug 25, 2009 11:35 PM GMT
    JakeBenson saidicon_lol.gif

    This is my favorite part:

    zdrew saidAnd now, I'm sitting here devastated and alone, having masturbated furiously in the bathtub while crying for the past nine hours.


    My God, man! If you can masturbate for 9 hours at a time, no wonder you are alone!

    LOL
    icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif
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    Feb 10, 2010 7:56 PM GMT
    PrimaDonna78, MOTD?
    Well thank you very much Drew, i didn't know you cared, hahaha!
    Just for that, i'm voting YOU!!! icon_biggrin.gif

    ...And that part about you masturbating in the tub crying your eyes out, how very poetic. Now get over it, you already got my vote, lol!