Straight Guys @ The Gym!!!

  • NyRuinz

    Posts: 887

    Sep 01, 2009 5:57 AM GMT
    How do you know when a guy @ the gym is straight and looking for a friendship, or really isn't straight and looking for more? There is a particular guy at my gym who stares at me, but when I return his glance he quickly looks away, and this has been going on for quite some time, and I also can feel him watching me, I doubt he's shy because I have witnessed him initiate conversations with other people, and he has a girlfriend as well. How are do you guys differentiate between the two???
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    Sep 01, 2009 6:00 AM GMT
    well, if he's a girlfriend, seems to not be all that shy and doesn't even bother trying to hold eye contact, he could just be wondering what your doing, perhaps looking in that general direction, astounded by your possible good looks or bored shitless and you're the most interesting thing to look at..

    next time you walk past, say hi (well, don't say hi during a set)
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Sep 01, 2009 12:25 PM GMT
    I'm kind of with Ben, it sounds like he is probably straight and just looking around.

    In most gyms, mine included, guys look around and even check out others, but isn't sexual in most cases, they may be interested in what you look like from the point of physical fitness. If there is a guy interested in you, I have the feeling he will communicate it to you.
    Well, one way or another....
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    Sep 01, 2009 1:41 PM GMT
    I see a lot of the "str8" guys at the gym looking at the guys all the time. I think they are admiring what the guys have done and maybe even looking for more. In the locker room you have some guys that prance around showing off their bodies and cocks with reckless abandone and you have other guys shy as can be. I have always seen guys checking out other guys in the locker room. I think its natural for them to want to visually compare their junk. Anyway just my two cents.
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    Sep 01, 2009 1:46 PM GMT
    here's an idea.

    assume everyone at the gym is straight, until they prove otherwise. that way you can go there and workout without spending all your time wondering whether some dude is checking you out.

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    Sep 01, 2009 1:54 PM GMT
    tommysguns2000 saidhere's an idea.

    assume everyone at the gym is straight, until they prove otherwise. that way you can go there and workout without spending all your time wondering whether some dude is checking you out.



    Great attitude to have and it probably does work too. lol
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    Sep 01, 2009 2:14 PM GMT
    BeachBiMan said
    tommysguns2000 saidhere's an idea.

    assume everyone at the gym is straight, until they prove otherwise. that way you can go there and workout without spending all your time wondering whether some dude is checking you out.



    Great attitude to have and it probably does work too. lol


    "go to the gym to work out"..hmm..makes sense icon_razz.gificon_razz.gificon_razz.gif
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    Sep 01, 2009 2:43 PM GMT
    Whats it matter? Are you there to meet guys or freaking workout?
  • DuggerPDX

    Posts: 386

    Sep 01, 2009 2:47 PM GMT
    The gym should be a safe zone, I'm not there to cruise and I don't want to be cruised. I will look at another guys form or how he is doing a lift if I think I can learn something, but it's quick or I'll just ask the guy a question.

    I agree about the eye contact, if someone is holding eye contact with me a little too long in the gym it's uncomfortable.
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    Sep 01, 2009 3:17 PM GMT
    Straight guys are ALWAYS checking out guys at the gym. If I were you, I wouldn't say anything to him. Just continue to be polite and easy going with how you move around the gym. Throw him a quick smile if you catch him looking at you, and then YOU quickly look away.

    He may be looking at you for a million reasons. He may be admiring how you are doing a particular exercise or watching you do something wrong ie bad form. You may remind him of his brother. Whatever.

    He may just want to be friendly and just talk to you and is unsure how to, or he may not. But if he was, I still think he should make the first move.







  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 01, 2009 3:52 PM GMT
    Yeah right you guys. Gay guys go to the gym to cruise. Nothing said it better than Peter Griffin on Family guy's episode 708 when he turned gay.

    Peter Griffins quote " Then it's off to the gym for three hours of extended eye contact with strangers"
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    Sep 01, 2009 3:58 PM GMT
    So, he is looking at you and you are not looking at him, right? You just happen to be glancing his way when you make eye contact, right?

    Are you sure you aren't staring at this guy?
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    Sep 01, 2009 4:04 PM GMT
    Why r people lusting in a gym, wit sweaty stank peepsicon_eek.gif
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    Sep 01, 2009 4:12 PM GMT
    don't overthink it. as others have said, he's probably just looking around at the goings-on at the gym. And if he's not and he is checking you out, his mannerisms clearly show he's not ready to move forward with anything.
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    Sep 01, 2009 4:45 PM GMT
    He heard that you are gay. He's A) trying to figure out if he can identify that on sight alone and B) wondering if he's the kind of guy you would look twice at.
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    Sep 01, 2009 6:11 PM GMT
    Chizzad saidWhats it matter? Are you there to meet guys or freaking workout?


    Hmmm.... Both? icon_wink.gificon_cool.gif
  • NyRuinz

    Posts: 887

    Sep 01, 2009 6:14 PM GMT
    Thanks guys for the feedback, but think some of you may need to re read my post, and refrain from the catty attacks disguised as advice. I never stated once in my post that I use the gym as a dating service. I do know that guys observe other guy all the time and for various reasons, but I think when it's on a consistent basis it makes you wonder. I am very focused on my workout,but when you feel someone watching you regularly, it can become a little distracting (well at least for me) I did have an opportunity recently to speak to this guy and he was extremely friendly, patting me on the shoulder and such, but I never said I wanted to jump the man's bones, I was just curious to know how are some of you guys able to tell when someone is just being friendly or has an attraction to you.
  • MSUBioNerd

    Posts: 1813

    Sep 01, 2009 6:26 PM GMT
    Well, in all fairness, how much time you spend look at others while you're in the gym depends in part on what you're doing there. When I'm at the gym lifting weights, I'm mostly only aware enough of others to know whether equipment is in use, whether someone's waiting for what I'm using, and if someone is about to run into me. On the other hand, when I'm running on a treadmill because it's icy outside, I spend much more time looking around because, frankly, I'm bored and some eye candy is a welcome distraction.
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    Sep 01, 2009 6:29 PM GMT
    I think the issue has been closed - go to work out and not to cruise and it won't matter if they're straight, gay or purple.
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    Sep 01, 2009 6:32 PM GMT
    badmikeyt saidI think the issue has been closed - go to work out and not to cruise and it won't matter if they're straight, gay or purple.


    But what if I still want to sniff the spot on a bench where a hot straight guy was sitting and manically dry hump it until the staff comes after me with a rolled up newspaper or spray bottle?
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    Sep 01, 2009 7:12 PM GMT
    Don't assume anything. But there is another possibility. I was raised very religious, anti-gay environment. Am shy too. If I admire a guy and he looks my way usually my first instinct is to look away. Years of conditioning. Not suggesting anybody use the gym as a dating forum, but if a guy looks at you and looks away when you look that is a small possibility as to why. It would be if I were the guy looking your way.
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    Sep 01, 2009 7:16 PM GMT
    ACouer saidDon't assume anything. But there is another possibility. I was raised very religious, anti-gay environment. Am shy too. If I admire a guy and he looks my way usually my first instinct is to look away. Years of conditioning. Not suggesting anybody use the gym as a dating forum, but if a guy looks at you and looks away when you look that is a small possibility as to why. It would be if I were the guy looking your way.


    Point taken. And then you have to balance that with the fact that lots of straight guys have lost their rabid homophobia, and are just being friendly or curious about another guy with no sexual interest....gay or straight.
  • imperator

    Posts: 626

    Sep 01, 2009 8:41 PM GMT
    Uh, I find the OP question kind of problematic because you say you can 'tell/feel' that he keeps looking at you, but also that he looks away whenever you look at him. So there's a sort of paradoxical observer-observed thing there; you could just be imagining that he's looking at you all the time, and every now and then he happens to look in your direction and sees you looking at him, and he looks away and wonders if you're the one staring. It's very difficult to accurately report on what someone else is doing when you aren't watching them, and when you are watching them that very act can influence their behaviour. So there's that.

    But what I find stranger is this almost unanimous sentiment of "it's the gym! no sex thoughts at the gym!" Which sounds an awful lot like over-compensation and macho posturing. Are we so insecure in our manly manliness that we feel the need to suppress one of the most basic, fundamental human drives (that would be sex) as soon as we step into the gender-charged theater of "The Gym" so as not to appear to confirm the whole "homos can't get sex off the brain" stereotype? Because that smacks of that old favourite-- internalised homophobia. It's almost formulaic: a gay guy goes to the gym, and he wants to be taken seriously and not dismissed as "the gay stereotype." So when he gets there he takes every narrow-minded heterosexist bias against that stereotype-- including the idea that we're sex-obsessed (as though straight people don't think about it just as much)-- and plasters it over any sexual thoughts or attractions he might experience while he's there. The only thing more ridiculous than the self-censorship is how it necessarily implies that the straight, 'masculine' alternative is some kind of mental chastity.

    My straight (and hot-- god damn! in a heartbeat, I tells ya) trainer at the gym and I talk and laugh every now and then about this very kind of shit. We lampoon it. One time, he made kind of a joking flirtatious comment-- we were talking about scheduling changes with him and my chiro guy and he said "oh, so you'll try to squeeze me in before Jay, huh?"-- and I said "dude! Here I am, here to work out, I'm just trying to be one of the guys, and you gotta go and gay everything up on me." Another day it was "you ready for me to stick my ball between your legs?" (my reply once I stopped snickering-- "I won't tell your girlfriend if you don't tell my boyfriend," which set the girl next to us laughing too). Just the other day he said something else while I was laying face-down on the leg curl bench, it took me a minute to get it and he started to backpedal, and I said "oh, no, I caught it just as you were pulling it back." Cue a laugh about pastor-recommended contraception. Another day he agreed that there was lots of eye candy at the gym (albeit of a different type for him) and that it would be embarrassing getting wood while trying to spot a girl on the bench press.

    The point is, the heteros are "in on it" even if some of us aren't. Acknowledging the ubiquity of human sexuality isn't a gay vs. straight 'thing,' it's an 'aware' vs. oblivious (or in-denial) thing. People don't check their hormones at the gym door, and it's a good thing too because the testosterone that makes us wanna fuck at the drop of a hat is the same testosterone that promotes male muscle growth. The chaste "working out is Pure" mentality is a put-on affect, conforming to a social expectation that isn't even realistic. It's a delusion to think that the gym threshold projects some magical 'anti-sex-thoughts' field. It's a joke, and lots of heteros are keen to it and will laugh at it with you if you stop doth-protesting so much. I mean, you really think that the straight guys at the gym aren't peeking at the girls in their tight little outfits and having dirty thoughts? Don't be retarded. icon_confused.gif
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    Sep 01, 2009 8:47 PM GMT
    imperator said I mean, you really think that the straight guys at the gym aren't peeking at the girls in their tight little outfits and having dirty thoughts?

    Yes they are. 5 minutes of observation at any gym will prove it.
    Why do you think all those mirrors are there?
  • jgymnast733

    Posts: 1783

    Sep 01, 2009 8:53 PM GMT
    It's a fine line,,,Afterall,,,,,,,
    Todays trade is tommorrows competition..........icon_idea.gif