Questions

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 01, 2009 3:38 PM GMT
    Can a relationship between a thoughtful person and a thoughtless individual thrive? How do you know if a person is truly over their ex? How does one learn to open up more? When is enough...enough? Yeah...just a bunch of randoms...
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 01, 2009 3:52 PM GMT
    The minute you realize that you deserve better, that you deserve someone who values YOUR thoughtfulness like gold, the minute you realize you placed too much trust in him too early, the minute you realize he is not for you and that he is not the last man on earth.

    That's how you get over that "dime a dozen" type of selfish guy that is way to common nowdays.
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    Sep 01, 2009 4:00 PM GMT
    Thoughtful & thoughtless is usually a mismatch. But there are thoughtful guys who are more tolerant and don't require much back in return. If that satisfies them, fine, but I think they're being shortchanged.

    One is not over an ex if they talk about them a great deal, make comparisons about them with their new love interest, and of course, if they stay in very close regular contact with them. Some exes do become close non-romantic friends, however, and the distinction is often difficult to make between someone's old friend and being your love rival. It's very situational, but if the ex intrudes on your relationship then it's probably a problem.

    Impediments to being open can include tension and lack of confidence. Curing them can improve openness, as can trust in the other person. Therefore, increasing openness often comes naturally over time during a relationship. The opposite evil side of openness is deceit, which should never be practiced.

    Enough is enough when you aren't happy any more. If you're not happy and continuing with a relationship, you should analyze your motives. Is it from habit, fear of going single, financial entanglements, reluctance to hurt the other guy, dislike of major life changes, etc?
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    Sep 01, 2009 9:53 PM GMT
    jprichva saidIn getting over exes, I find certain rituals helpful.
    For example, I dismembered my last ex after I killed him.
    While I was throwing his limbs, torso, and head into Hefty bags, I experienced closure.


    bwahahaha Awesome! icon_lol.gif
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    Sep 01, 2009 10:25 PM GMT
    livin4myself saidCan a relationship between a thoughtful person and a thoughtless individual thrive?


    You mean like S&M? I see it working. If it works in the bedroom....
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    Sep 05, 2009 1:47 PM GMT
    Opening up was my issue.

    I always considered myself to be very open but suddenly realized one day that I was only about the things that I wanted people to know, which was not very much.

    This had probably developed from being shunned by other people for being too personal or talking about unpleasant things.

    It began causing issues with other guys because I wanted to keep them at a distance and they wanted to know so much about me.

    I suppose it was something I got better at through my boyfriend who is just very curious about life and needs to know things. And when you're dealing with someone like that, they encourage you to tell them everything whether they like what they hear or not because the thought of not knowing is too much for them.

    It took practice. Saying things out loud rather than acting on them and expecting people to instinctively know why.

    I say start out by saying something knew to someone about yourself or how you feel that you probably normally wouldn't. And take it from there.
  • jrs1

    Posts: 4388

    Sep 16, 2009 12:11 AM GMT
    livin4myself saidCan a relationship between a thoughtful person and a thoughtless individual thrive? How do you know if a person is truly over their ex? How does one learn to open up more? When is enough...enough? Yeah...just a bunch of randoms...


    1. not likely.
    2. you listen to both their body and spoken languages.
    3. you take the seemingly frightening steps of being either rejected or judged a little at a time, working through your personal frustrations.
    4. enough may indeed be enough when either the love is no longer there or when you feel that it would not be healthy for you to keep burying yourself in unfounded hope.

    Again: I play a wonderful song:

    Empire of the Sun - Standing on the Shore: