It's his Birthday, but you just started dating.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 02, 2009 2:50 AM GMT
    I have my first date with this cute guy tomorrow. He told me his Birthday is in a week. If the date goes well and I want to see him again, I know I should do something for his Birthday. I don't want to just acknowledge his birthday but I will probably also get him something small like a card and or take him out to do something fun, another date... maybe not on the actual day because he probably has plans with his friends.

    Has anyone been in this type of situation before? I'm just jumping ahead and I don't really need advice, but was just wondering what you guys have done/ would do if you were in this situation... OR what would you expect from someone you just started dating if it was your Birthday?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 02, 2009 3:00 AM GMT
    A nice card, and something you could both do together, like dinner, a movie, maybe a concert or show.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 02, 2009 7:01 AM GMT
    Thats a toughy......icon_neutral.gif
  • jrs1

    Posts: 4388

    Sep 02, 2009 7:44 AM GMT
    Red_Vespa saidA nice card, and something you could both do together, like dinner, a movie, maybe a concert or show.


    I agree with this; I would keep it simple. Admittedly, I would like him to see the contents of my heart more than the contents of my wallet.
  • cityguy39

    Posts: 967

    Sep 02, 2009 12:24 PM GMT
    Just take him out for a nice dinner, don't make too big of a deal out of it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 02, 2009 1:37 PM GMT
    Take him out to dinner. Leave it at that. Good excuse to spend some more time together. Anything more, at this stage, will seem needy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 02, 2009 8:05 PM GMT
    Nice card...not sure if I would do a gift, but a birthday dinner on another night that isnt his birthday would be great, since he have plans w/ friends on the b-day.

    Good luck and hope the date goes well.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 02, 2009 8:10 PM GMT
    jprswim saidI have my first date with this cute guy tomorrow. He told me his Birthday is in a week. If the date goes well and I want to see him again, I know I should do something for his Birthday. I don't want to just acknowledge his birthday but I will probably also get him something small like a card and or take him out to do something fun, another date... maybe not on the actual day because he probably has plans with his friends.

    Has anyone been in this type of situation before? I'm just jumping ahead and I don't really need advice, but was just wondering what you guys have done/ would do if you were in this situation... OR what would you expect from someone you just started dating if it was your Birthday?


    Hmm this is a good topic. Just like Christmas in the early dating stages. I would def get him something small or be the treater to the "birthday date". You cant go wrong. Sweet of you to consider it though man, shows your heart is in a great place!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 02, 2009 8:32 PM GMT
    Red_Vespa saidA nice card, and something you could both do together, like dinner, a movie, maybe a concert or show.


    Good advice, worthy of king Solomon.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 02, 2009 8:39 PM GMT
    About 4 weeks ago I was in exactly the same situation. I met a guy on Saturday, asked him out for dinner on Tuesday, and his birthday was Friday.

    Dinner went well, so I just got him a card. I kept it humorous to not be all creepy and love proclaiming right away, and just signed my name and wrote "Happy Birthday. Play your cards right and next year will be much more than a card :-)" He thought it was funny and laughed and that was it. Sadly, I ended it 2 weeks later for way too many reasons to list. But, the card was received well. He had plans with all his friends and that was that.

    Hope that helps.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 02, 2009 8:46 PM GMT
    I'd check on what night his friends are taking him out - and then I'd go for the night before or after it. I'd bring along a nice card - and spring for dinner. If he's into a good wine - I'd get that - and complete the gift card plus a good wine bag. If you can't think of a gift that is just right - I'd do something in the card - saying something like, "Happy Birthday! You're birthday present is a night out and dinner at AGO" (or XIV in WeHo or wherever you like in LA). Good luck. Looking at your profile - I'm going to say he's a lucky guy too. I wouldn't do a flick - - you can't talk!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 02, 2009 8:47 PM GMT
    I'd find out if he likes doing anything on his birthday. I, personally, don't. My boyfriend celebrates his for a month. We started dating about 2 1/2 weeks before his birthday. We made plans to visit a museum and have a quiet dinner. It was just right. This year, after being together for a year, we went crazy. I'd keep it simple. You don't want to scare him off.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 02, 2009 10:27 PM GMT
    find out his favorite meal and either make it for him or get it as take out and have him over for a quiet birthday dinner.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 02, 2009 10:33 PM GMT
    I guess I'm the odd man out. I say try to setup something that he'll remember forever. NOT flashy and you don't need to spend a bunch of money but why not do something different, out of the ordinary yet thoughtful.
  • JockChefJim

    Posts: 373

    Sep 02, 2009 10:33 PM GMT
    Been there....done that.....I started dating my ex about three weeks before his birthday....I gave him a yellow rose and took him out for dinner.....nothing spectacular but it was nice.
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19129

    Sep 02, 2009 10:38 PM GMT
    I think a lot has to do with how well the 1st Date goes. Can we get a post-date update? You want to walk that fine line between not doing enough and going overboard. But where that fine line is depends a lot on how the date went.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 02, 2009 11:29 PM GMT
    jprichva saidA blowjob is always a thoughtful gift.



    that was sooooo helpful, I'm sure icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 02, 2009 11:35 PM GMT
    I was dating a guy, and three weeks into the relationship it was his birthday and Valentines Day in the same week. I ended up buying us tickets to see the first Lord of the Rings movie in the gold class section, because he had seen it when it first came out and raved about it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 02, 2009 11:40 PM GMT
    jrunner25 said
    jprichva saidA blowjob is always a thoughtful gift.

    that was sooooo helpful, I'm sure icon_rolleyes.gif

    Well, yes, the dessert after dinner. For both of them. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 03, 2009 12:15 AM GMT
    I was in the same boat once. I had gone out with a guy on a first date the week before my birthday. It went really well. We didn't have sex, but we did have a long passionate kiss at the end of the night when we said goodbye. I knew a 2nd date was imminent. icon_wink.gif The next week was my birthday, but it fell on a Thursday night and all my friends had planned to take me out on Saturday night to celebrate instead. So the night of my birthday I really had no plans. So the guy asked me what I was doing for my birthday and I said nothing. He couldn't believe it, so he asked if he could come over and "pamper me" for my birthday that night. Being someone who loves to be pampered, I said sure. My birthday night came and I was ready to be pampered because I had a hell of a crazy day at work, and I really wanted to just kick back and relax. Anyway, he showed up around 8pm with this bag in hand, wrapped in a yellow ribbon with a little card that simply said "I'm here to make sure you have a Happy Pampered Birthday night". I was already loving this because the card was sweet without being mushy. I opened the bag and pulled out a bottle of red wine, a bottle of massage oil, 2 scented candles, and a CD with some sort of new age music on it. He proceeded to tell me that, if it was okay with me, he was going to give me a massage that I would never forget. But from the get-go, he said that the massage was not going to include sex or even a happy ending, so that I could relax and know that he was not here to seduce me via a massage. I was still not convinced that he didn't have ulterior motives and, admittedly, was kind of hoping he did, but I went with it anyway because he was so damn cute and sweet about it. He told me to go into my room and wear whatever I felt comfortable in and get on the bed face down. He suggested a towel or just underwear, assuring me that he promised he wouldn't cross any lines. I was thinking to myself, "Dammit, he's not going to cross any lines", but I went with it. I went into my room while he heated up the massage oil in the microwave, then proceeded to light the candles on my nightstands, poured us each a glass of wine, and put on the CD of this really soft soothing new age music. What followed was the most amazing massage I have had in my entire life. It included feet massage, hand massage, scalp massage, neck, back, legs, shoulders, chest. Let me tell you, I have never wanted anyone to "cross a line" so bad in my entire life. It was all I could do to keep from popping a raging hardon during the chest and ab section, but I kept it in check. He was a perfect gentleman, seemingly only interested in giving me that "massage I will never forget". When it was over, we sat and talked and finished the bottle of wine. By then it was around 10:30 and it was getting late as we both had to work the next day, and he said he had to get going. We ended the night with a birthday kiss unlike any I have ever had before, or any I have had since. Then he left. I remember thinking as I closed the door behind him that that was probably the best birthday present ever. It didn't cost him a lot of money, but it required a little thought and creativity. Those are always the best gifts anyway. I remember thinking at the time "Damn, I can't wait until date #3 cuz I want more than just a kiss next time". Then I realized just how clever that boy was. He knew exactly what he was doing. He left me wanting more.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 03, 2009 12:49 AM GMT
    Welllllll.... Was gonna go along w/what RV said then saw the above post..... Now I gotta go take a shower... I'd have to go w/a mix of both???
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 03, 2009 2:26 AM GMT
    He told you it was his birthday? ...before the first date even??? ...Dump him
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 03, 2009 2:38 AM GMT
    Just give him something small and cute, like a card and a cupcake. Anything more is coming on too strong, too soon...for both of you. Anything less makes you seem uncaring. But only do it if you want future dates with the guy. If not, then don't bother.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 03, 2009 2:52 AM GMT
    I swear--I don't start dating someone unless it happens around a couple of weeks before their birthday. Tables were turned recently though and I started dating someone right before mine. I sensed his uncertainty and his trying to read my expectations. So I put it out there that I'd been in his shoes many times and I really (honestly) didn't want him to do anything. I invited him to join me and my friends for drinks, and it was a great night.

    My standby is always, "I know you probably have plans for your birthday, but maybe I can take you out to dinner sometime before or after so we can celebrate."
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 03, 2009 3:32 AM GMT
    icon_razz.gif Jpr!

    He told you it was his birthday...which means he's interested in potentially including you in his plans AND he potentially thinks your first date may lead into a second date and then his birthday...etc. Put yourself in his shoes for a minute...Would you tell someone your birthday is coming up if you weren't going to include them in your plans?!

    Don't sell yourself short by assuming he has plans with his friends. It's a perfect opportunity to meet his friends and most of the time that will help you learn more about the person you are dating.

    Think about it this way...you will have an opportunity to be around his friends...and you know people don't go to a birthday party because they HAVE to...they go because they WANT to...so these are going to be people who like to be around your guy!

    As far as gifts go...I always go for the WOW factor. I want to wow them but you can still wow someone with something heartfelt and simple. I've given some damn good gifts.

    Listen...don't put the cart before the horse but focus on having a great time with the guy!