I messed around with a straight guy and need some advice!!

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    Sep 05, 2009 3:37 AM GMT
    So my best friend is a straight guy. He knew I was gay and was cool with it. All the while i was not trying hook up with him or have any sexual relationship with him at all. Within the past couple of days we have suddenly started talking about ourselves. I asked him how big his dick was and if he would ever do anything with a guy. Meanwhile, I am in a relationship happy and all. He told me that he doesnt think he would and that he doesnt think he's gay but he would let me know if that curiosity ever came about.

    Two days after this conversation, I went to his house before lunch and we were fucking. Now, seriously, he really is straight. He made me swear up and down that I wouldn't tell any of our friends. is this going to fuck things up between us and stuff. I mean, if we both don't tell anyone, will he get mentally messed up or something? When I asked him the other day, he was all like, nah dude, i'm good. But then there's something telling me that when we talk he is very.... idk... something's different. But it's not like he trusts me less or anything like that... i don't know. I mean I know things should feel different between us because we have this bond now. And what I feel toward him now is better rather than worse. I feel bad that i cheated on my bf, but at the same time. I worry about my best friend's emotions now that he has tried something new and the "straight" society of today makes gay people feel inferior.

    Basically, what I am trying to say is... Should I make him talk about how he feels so that he puts it out there and knows that he can talk to me about it since he doesn't want anyone else to know?
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    Sep 05, 2009 3:40 AM GMT
    you've probably screwed the friendship.

    very few straight guys can handle experimentation like that and still remain friends with the guy.

    Thankfully as society seems to become more and more comfortable with homosexuality those stigma's are falling down and more and more straights will try, but they are still few and far between.
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    Sep 05, 2009 3:43 AM GMT
    well, he wants me to come over because he wants more... how's that work out? i dont think the friendship is screwed up, i just think he might keep it to himself and it might bug him... we live in the smallest most redneck town... gay is not as accepted here as in most suburbs or metropolitan areas. We're in the mountains far away from any major landmark.
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    Sep 05, 2009 3:44 AM GMT
    hints the powerstroke... being the truck that i drive... its a very very southern conservative area...
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    Sep 05, 2009 3:45 AM GMT
    I think the more important issue is cheating on your bf. Don't you think you should tell your bf? Or if you are unable to stop yourself from being a cheater break up with your bf, so you can fuck whatever guys you want.
  • jrs1

    Posts: 4388

    Sep 05, 2009 8:03 AM GMT
    lilTanker saidyou've probably screwed the friendship.



    I don't think you're being completely honest with either this thread or yourself: you claimed to be in a relationship, that this guy is your best friend, and behaved as though after asking him his dick size one minute and then ending up in bed the next were all coincidences?

    I'm honestly not trying to call anyone out, but those are not topics that are important with best friends - gay or straight. I can joke about my straight and gay best friends' penises, but we know where a personal comfort line lays.

    I think there had to have been some mutual attraction and that he trusts you enough or feels that experimenting with you won't lead to his emasculation. the sex didn't just happen, but you're going to need to speak about what happened; why you both feel it happened, and if the two of you can continue on without letting a sexually-charged reserve of attraction blight your friendship like a dark plague.

    I don't think sex alone makes a person gay, but if he starts to show some level of attachment to you ... then, perhaps it would be wise to either distance yourself or be keen in terms of your intuition and nurture this new found growth with him.

    What you and your boyfriend are going to do ... now, that's a completely separate issue altogether.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Sep 05, 2009 8:28 AM GMT
    Wow .... you really screwed yourself didn't you?

    You're cheating on your BF and you're now a cum depository for a former best friend
    I say former because if you continue screwing with this guy he's going to find an excuse soon to dump you
    and if you end it he's going to get weird on you .......... and dump you

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    Sep 05, 2009 8:41 AM GMT
    LOL, your friend isn't straight if he wants more!! Can someone say denial? Btw, that's pretty fucked up you cheated on your bf. He should kick you in the balls.
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    Sep 05, 2009 9:00 AM GMT
    ahahah we need more post like this ahhah
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    Sep 05, 2009 9:19 AM GMT
    you allowed this mess to take place so deal with it. If your both mature enough this should not cause any issues between the two of you.
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    Sep 05, 2009 12:55 PM GMT
    lol, no kind of guy will ever turn me on more than a bi curious guy who hasn't fooled around yet. I can't tell you how many times I've been a guys first. Its not even funny. Its a powerful feeling isn't it? Knowing that you are liasion between a naive novice and a whole knew world. That the slightest mistake you make, or the slightest thing you do perfectly, can change someone's taste and attitude towards men for the rest of their life. So much so that you begin to believe that you have more power and influence over someone than you actually do, all the way to the point that you start wanting to dig deeper and trying to find out where you stand with this person. Even if deep inside you know what it is, its just sex, as it should be. As you probably implied in the first place to make them feel comfortable enough to explore themselves.

    All cheating aside,

    No. You're dealing with a grown man. He's not a child. If he wants to talk to you about it he will, but honestly when you're dealing with bi curiosity you have already decided to put your situation in the other man's hands.

    Everything is about his comfort level. Everything is about what he is ready for and at what time.

    Truly the best thing you can do for him is continue to be a friend and not pressure him or stress him out by complicating things.

    If he was truly just experimenting, he probably wants as little strings attached as possible. Even if you are his best friend. He doesn't want anything to change.

    chances are someday he may wanna do it again. But once again that is solely up to him.

    Just show him that having sex with you doesn't mean that things have to be awkward by being the cool friend that you've always been. It will make him feel a lot more comfortable and will prevent him from regretting what he did.

    So don't try bringing it up, don't try prying into his emotions thinking you have scarred him for life. Don't think that you are displaying a negative image of homosexuality through your sex with him. After all, once again, he is a grown man and clearly has fucked before. If he came, then he obviously enjoyed it. So he definitely wasn't molested or anything.

    If anything this need to feel him out and talk is probably a representation of you wanting to make this sex more emotional and meaningful. I suggest you don't. Just don't complicate things. Because Bi curious guys experimenting for the first couple of years are usually really into "buds". It makes them feel safe to have a cool friend that they chill with and hang out with and when no one else is around, they can fuck without guilt or shame.

    Chances are those strings and bonds can develop, chances are they already have. But if this is so, it'll all be revealed when the time is right and probably be more inconvenient for the both of you than anything on account you have a boyfriend, and your friend will probably limit his bisexual endeavors solely to you.
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    Sep 05, 2009 3:24 PM GMT
    I agree w/ Halfstep's reply to this post.

    I had the same experience with my best friend 10 years into our friendship and it was great. True, the sex was at his convenience and comfort but it didn't destroy the quality of our friendship (and it was good sex too). It was hot to know that I'm the only guy he felt comfortable enough to be with sexually.
    After he got married we both agreed to stop without needing to discuss it.

    It is kinda messed up to cheat on your bf though. When i had a bf I wouldn't make myself available to my str8 buddy. Only when i was single.
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    Sep 05, 2009 3:31 PM GMT

    Advice? Cheating. Tell your BF about this now. How would you want to be treated?
    Integrity. Honesty. You're displaying neither.
    Both are required in a relationship. One of the worst places to be is in the shoes your BF is wearing. Poor sod.

    Your friend is NOT straight. He's Bi or just coming out to himself, and now apparently to you. Even worse, he likely knows you're cheating on your BF and without your BF knowing this; your 'friend' now has a huge power over you, as he can contact the BF and tell him.

    It's better if the BF hears it from you.
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Sep 05, 2009 3:45 PM GMT
    Your 19? If this is your correct age than it is understandable that your confused and that this has happened. I don't think you ruined anything with your best friend, but having a relationship with a bf that your not faithful to is a little concerning. Assuming your age is correct it must not be that much of an LTR in terms of a time span. I suggest breaking it off with the BF.

    I'm not going to give you sh*t for any of this, because of your age. Next time you will know better and sometimes it takes a learning situation like this to understand the ramifications of your actions.
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    Sep 05, 2009 3:48 PM GMT
    I sometimes think these posts by no-picture, low-posting profiles with ridiculous situations like this are decoys posted by the site's admins to basically generate discussion and keep the masses clucking. I mean, do we ever hear from these frequent onesy-twosey posters again aside from their original posts?? Seems very suspicious to me icon_question.gificon_question.gif
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    Sep 05, 2009 3:52 PM GMT
    deebram saidI sometimes think these posts by no-picture, low-posting profiles with ridiculous situations like this are decoys posted by the site's admins to basically generate discussion and keep the masses clucking. I mean, do we ever hear from these frequent onesy-twosey posters again aside from their original posts?? Seems very suspicious to me icon_question.gificon_question.gif


    I agree, fake post. The same people who fall for this shit also believe the guys on SeanCody or Corbin Fisher are straight. Dream on.
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    Sep 05, 2009 3:55 PM GMT
    Hey, deebram, I can see your undies!
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    Sep 05, 2009 3:57 PM GMT
    redheadguy saidHey, deebram, I can see your undies!


    Completely intentional. HA!!
  • Celticmusl

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    Sep 05, 2009 4:00 PM GMT
    badmikeyt said
    deebram saidI sometimes think these posts by no-picture, low-posting profiles with ridiculous situations like this are decoys posted by the site's admins to basically generate discussion and keep the masses clucking. I mean, do we ever hear from these frequent onesy-twosey posters again aside from their original posts?? Seems very suspicious to me icon_question.gificon_question.gif


    I agree, fake post. The same people who fall for this shit also believe the guys on SeanCody or Corbin Fisher are straight. Dream on.



    You found us out. You two are the only real profiles and posters on here and all the rest are just made up from some randomizing generator. The next random topic will be:

    My "crabs" left me for another "tranny" and now I'm "pregnant"
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    Sep 05, 2009 4:04 PM GMT
    Celticmusl said

    My "crabs" left me for another "tranny" and now I'm "pregnant"


    icon_lol.gif
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    Sep 05, 2009 4:07 PM GMT
    Celticmusl said
    badmikeyt said
    deebram saidI sometimes think these posts by no-picture, low-posting profiles with ridiculous situations like this are decoys posted by the site's admins to basically generate discussion and keep the masses clucking. I mean, do we ever hear from these frequent onesy-twosey posters again aside from their original posts?? Seems very suspicious to me icon_question.gificon_question.gif


    I agree, fake post. The same people who fall for this shit also believe the guys on SeanCody or Corbin Fisher are straight. Dream on.



    You found us out. You two are the only real profiles and posters on here and all the rest are just made up from some randomizing processor. The next random topic will be:

    My "crabs" left me for another "tranny" and now I'm "pregnant"


    You can be a deft smartass all you want, but if you're a frequent poster OR lurker in these forums (as I am), you have to notice these seemingly bizarre situational posts over time that all have the aforementioned sketchiness in common. Just saying that perhaps we should spend our time commenting on the more realistic topics at hand?
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Sep 05, 2009 4:16 PM GMT
    To Deebram:


    Point taken, and yes I'm being just a smart ass. But there are so many other wacky stories from the posters that are real people that I am baffled why a site would need to think they need more.

    This isn't match.com where they charge you 50 bucks a month and make up profiles with beautiful guys in each city. I think I had an online relationship for six months with an ad for match.com last year. I still hope he changes his mind and meets me...
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    Sep 05, 2009 4:50 PM GMT
    jdpowerstroke88 saidSo my best friend is a straight guy. He knew I was gay and was cool with it. All the while i was not trying hook up with him or have any sexual relationship with him at all. Within the past couple of days we have suddenly started talking about ourselves. I asked him how big his dick was and if he would ever do anything with a guy. Meanwhile, I am in a relationship happy and all. He told me that he doesnt think he would and that he doesnt think he's gay but he would let me know if that curiosity ever came about.

    Two days after this conversation, I went to his house before lunch and we were fucking. Now, seriously, he really is straight. He made me swear up and down that I wouldn't tell any of our friends. is this going to fuck things up between us and stuff. I mean, if we both don't tell anyone, will he get mentally messed up or something? When I asked him the other day, he was all like, nah dude, i'm good. But then there's something telling me that when we talk he is very.... idk... something's different. But it's not like he trusts me less or anything like that... i don't know. I mean I know things should feel different between us because we have this bond now. And what I feel toward him now is better rather than worse. I feel bad that i cheated on my bf, but at the same time. I worry about my best friend's emotions now that he has tried something new and the "straight" society of today makes gay people feel inferior.

    Basically, what I am trying to say is... Should I make him talk about how he feels so that he puts it out there and knows that he can talk to me about it since he doesn't want anyone else to know?


    ROFL. Kids say the darndest things.

    1. He's gay / bi. The label really doesn't matter. He's not straight,and your "friend" likes fucking guys. Kapeesh?

    2. He's a closet case, and closet cases are ALWAYS bad news.

    3. You're a dirt bag for sleeping around on your boy friend and inviting extra baggage.

    4. The relationship is dysfunctional, at best. He's closeted, and a lying dirt bag. You're cheating and are a dirt bag. You're both trying to rationalize bad behavior and a total lack of intergrity.

    5. You're a coward every which way, from being a pictureless, to getting into a situation. Fake post, real post...it's all dysfunctional crap.

    You will act as an enabler to even more drama, deceit, heart break, and an emotional roller coaster. You should REMOVE yourself from the situation and MOVE ON. There is little good that can be done there.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Sep 05, 2009 5:03 PM GMT
    the most telling thing is that you're more concerned about this guy's feelings than your own boyfriend. priorities are funny, but telling things.
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    Sep 05, 2009 6:30 PM GMT
    jdpowerstroke88 saidwell, he wants me to come over because he wants more... how's that work out? i dont think the friendship is screwed up, i just think he might keep it to himself and it might bug him... we live in the smallest most redneck town... gay is not as accepted here as in most suburbs or metropolitan areas. We're in the mountains far away from any major landmark.


    spacinjasin said Can someone say denial?


    The fact that you (OP) live in a small redneck town makes this a high possibility, but the likely hood of him coming out anytime soon is slim.

    He's bi, at least to some degree, whether he wants to admit that or not. And even if he's more into guys than girls, he'll probably end up getting married to a girl because it is the 'right' thing to do, but will cheat on her on several occasions. Maybe with you... maybe not. He'll go all 'brokeback.' (Still haven't seen the flick though.)

    lilTanker said
    Thankfully as society seems to become more and more comfortable with homosexuality those stigma's are falling down and more and more straights will try, but they are still few and far between.


    As noted by the increase of sales of male prostate stimulators. Remember when sticking anything up there was a gay thing? ^_^

    jdpowerstroke88 saidI feel bad that i cheated on my bf, but at the same time.


    I agree with most of the other people that you should tell your boyfriend that you cheated on him, but not that it was your friend. You'd be ruining two relationships at once otherwise. It's pretty fucked that you'd cheat on him.... He deserves to know, because from the sound of it you'll probably continue fucking your friend more and more. Eventually you'll develop a stronger attachment to this curious friend of yours and just end up stringing along your boyfriend, no one deserves that. These are the type of relationships that end horribly. The "OH I CANT FUCKING BELIEVE THAT I SPENT *insert amount of time the relationship last* OF MY FUCKIN' LIFE WITH YOU. YOU WHORE/SLUT/BITCH/SKANK/ETC." Then things will get messy, word will spread around town about you spreading your legs to any will man...... even if it is just the one.

    Celticmusl said Assuming your age is correct it must not be that much of an LTR in terms of a time span.


    At that age my friend was already in a 3 year relationship, and then when that ended she got into a 5 year relationship. My sister was also in a pretty long relationship at that age.

    (OP) One word:

    fucked.