Two reasons why I hate this site...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 05, 2009 4:54 AM GMT
    A good friend of mine on RJ.com met a cool boy in his city and made a date for tonight. The boy didn't call until well after their scheduled date and then never ended up taking the guy out like they'd talked about -- totally stood-up.

    I know this probably happens 1,000 times a night on RJ.com. But, I think it's a sad commentary on how we as Gay men treat each other. Why must men act like boys?

    Then, there's this email exchange that started with a random offer to swim and workout at some local guy's house we've never met. I thought I was polite in my reply, but apparently something I said offended him and I got this rant about what a waste I am.

    Just about enough to make a guy delete a profile...

    To: pdxboxer
    Subject: YOU ARE BEYOND....
    Date: Sep 04, 2009 at 9:28 PM

    A WASTE OF MY TIME..NICE COCKY COMEBACK QUEEN! UGH! TATA AND FIZZLE FROM MY EXISTENCE ASSWIPEicon_smile.gif NICE BEAVERTON PHOTOS.....UGH GAY MEN TRYING TO BE DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES! WWW.MATTHEWSHEPARD.ORG WWW.KABBALAH.COM WWW.MADONNALICIOUS.COM WWW.THESECRET.TV WWW.KATYPERRY.COM

    PS...GO TO HOLLYWOOD 24 HR FATTY! MY GYM/POOL IS TOOOOOO GOOD FOR YOUR DIRTY ASSES! SISSY BOYZ THAT U ARE!


    To: pdxboxer
    Subject: Re: Swimming?
    Date: Sep 04, 2009 at 5:01 PM

    Must be some building, impressive!

    We have three memberships between the two of us and still don't find time to go. But thanks for the offer!

    ---- FROM X Sep 04, 2009 at 8:58 AM
    Hello,

    How are you? Would you/boyfriend be up for some swimming/working-out at my condo complex in NW Portland? We have an indoor Olympic Sized Lap Pool.

    Todd
  • bottomline

    Posts: 331

    Sep 05, 2009 6:24 AM GMT
    Dont close your account. Ppl misundrestand intentions sometimes.
    I was one of those assholes to one of our members here. I missundrestood him cmpletely becuase of the unhappy state of mind i was in that day, felt rejected, and wrote him an angry mail. And it turned out i was wrong and dont feel good about that incident now.

    Just move on, maybe wt u said kinda hurt his ego, and just like me, he over reacted. I can undrestand how many of us in the gay community can be emotionally jumpy. Lets stick together and not let little stuff bother us so much.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 05, 2009 6:38 AM GMT
    You sound kinda angry
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 05, 2009 6:46 AM GMT
    Do you really think you will meet the love of your life on RJ? If so, awesome. If not, surpise surpise, it is an internet site and no one is who they seem. Surprise, surprise.

    Is anyone really who the seem to be? I doubt that. Everyone fudges about who they really are.
  • jrs1

    Posts: 4388

    Sep 05, 2009 7:54 AM GMT


    Complaints I've heard concerning this site:

    - it can make you feel awful for being single.
    - it can make you feel awful for not looking like some of the other guys here.
    - the flame wars are ridiculous.
    - when you finally connect with a guy, he's too far away to settle down

    ... the list goes on, but I feel thankful for a gay community in which I can interact. I've conversed with some pretty amazing guys and I wouldn't trade that for much at the moment.

    Again, it's not for everyone.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 05, 2009 8:05 AM GMT
    I do not blame you for wanting to delete your account but remember that people like him aren't worth it. They're angry, bitter people who just want others to be unhappy. They want guys to go away discouraged..

    Trust me, they're are plenty of guys that have the same good intentions as you, on this site. I am, for one.

    Tony
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 05, 2009 8:53 AM GMT
    Don't close your account over some asshole. Remember the nice convo we had? icon_biggrin.gif Not everyone on here is a giant douchebag.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 05, 2009 9:24 AM GMT
    spacinjasin saidDon't close your account over some asshole. Remember the nice convo we had? icon_biggrin.gif Not everyone on here is a giant douchebag.



    but the majority is now becoming overwhelming. i posted some hate mails i got int he threads two days ago. Just to show how obnoxious and hateful some of the individuals are on here and by the end of the day the moderators took it down. So im loosing interest in this site as it goes on. As people get disrespected and when you show proof, they erase it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 05, 2009 9:30 AM GMT
    getfitrick said

    Complaints I've heard concerning this site:

    - it can make you feel awful for being single.
    - it can make you feel awful for not looking like some of the other guys here.
    - the flame wars are ridiculous.
    - when you finally connect with a guy, he's too far away to settle down

    ... the list goes on, but I feel thankful for a gay community in which I can interact. I've conversed with some pretty amazing guys and I wouldn't trade that for much at the moment.

    Again, it's not for everyone.



    I agree.I was happy when I found this site
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 05, 2009 2:55 PM GMT
    Hey JWSD, a lot of us are really who we say (and show) we are.


    pdxboxer, don't leave! Take a hiatus - many do. We've had a couple of experiences like yours, but chalk it up to the presence of the inept and ham-fisted.

    as for the email of 'YOU ARE BEYOND'.....


    you can either

    A: block him (go to his profile and look at the left side where you can add to buddy list - it's there).
    B: show him how it's done, perhaps like this:

    Dear Todd,
    On re-reading my email to you, I see I politely declined a swim in your complex's pool, thanking you and commenting that the building you live in must be impressive.
    That you perceived an insult out of that is surprising, and tells me that it's probably not a good idea to continue speaking on-line.

    Good day to you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 05, 2009 3:21 PM GMT


    Reason three: Members that leave and come back as an alter-ego to stir up trouble, pretending to be new on the site, or feigning innocence when posting topics designed to entrap and incite flame-wars.



    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/642310
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    Sep 05, 2009 6:14 PM GMT


    You do sound angry and that's all I'll say, I won't personally attack you under the guise of pointing that out. It's obvious; what's more, this guy and several other guys on RJ have their nutts in a serious twist. It's like people have taken the need to be masculine to a cartoonish extreme to the point where they are affected in the same obnoxious fashion an affected fem would be.

    I say that because of the anger, the bravado, and the way they keep referring to each other as fags and queens like bullies at a middle school. Aspiring to be a meat head, I don't get it.

    Affected masculinity

    ...it's a problem.

    ....................................
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 05, 2009 8:54 PM GMT
    i think it is just the game of love. you are bound to hurt others and get hurt where strong emotions are involved. i find that it is easy to take messages wrong online because you can't hear the tone behind the delivery.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 05, 2009 10:38 PM GMT
    i have an annual temper tantrum and erase my whole profile. i take a break for a few weeks/months, and then come back on my terms. it's a great site, but once you need a break... take it. we'll all be here (unless we're on hissy fit sabbatical). no worries - it's human to be offended by that exchange.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 05, 2009 10:41 PM GMT
    JWSD saidDo you really think you will meet the love of your life on RJ? If so, awesome. If not, surpise surpise, it is an internet site and no one is who they seem. Surprise, surprise.

    Is anyone really who the seem to be? I doubt that. Everyone fudges about who they really are.


    Sorry you feel that way. I met my lifemate Darryl on this site, and we're very happy together!

    You can find love anywhere. It's just a matter of finding the right person, and being open-minded.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Sep 05, 2009 11:14 PM GMT
    I guess you can count yourself lucky that you and your kids were not exposed to that nut job, in person.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 05, 2009 11:33 PM GMT
    Two reasons why I hate this site...
    1. too many teen people inside our video chat, I've been there and souds like a disneyworld
    2.most part of members appeared chatting only at forumsicon_sad.gif
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    Sep 06, 2009 5:27 AM GMT
    pdxboxer saidA good friend of mine on RJ.com met a cool boy in his city and made a date for tonight. The boy didn't call until well after their scheduled date and then never ended up taking the guy out like they'd talked about -- totally stood-up.

    And you are blaming RJ.com why? Why don't you just blame reality for allowing assholes to exist while you're at it.


    pdxboxer said
    I know this probably happens 1,000 times a night on RJ.com. But, I think it's a sad commentary on how we as Gay men treat each other. Why must men act like boys?

    I just think you're a fool for thinking your friend getting stood up has anything to do with any community and nothing to do with the individual. My god I wonder what you think of Asian people after eating at Panda Express.


    pdxboxer said
    Then, there's this email exchange

    Wait, I'll just stop you right there and probably speak for everyone in the universe, including aliens, when I say this: no one cares.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 06, 2009 5:28 AM GMT
    you should knock him out like Lagarrette did that Kid at Boise State.

    Blount(2).jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 06, 2009 6:17 AM GMT
    Online drama...been there done that. Why dignify these people by creating a thread devoted to them saying that you're going to leave? Do they really deserve that much power over you? No, they don't.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 07, 2009 12:25 AM GMT
    All good advice, thanks. My email was quick and I can see where it may have been taken as terse or rejection.

    @JakeBenson - you crack me up. I am so-so on the Panda Express (only on no calories count fat days and only while wearing my eatin' dress) and I LOVE asians, every last one of them.

    I like the analogies about the bar. I have met so many incredible guys. I blocked good ol' Todd. Which sucks, 'cause I would have been his friend if he asked. I just don't want to accept an unsolicited offer to workout and swim at his condo.

    Peace,
    Jon
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 07, 2009 8:13 AM GMT
    As gays not only are we bashed by some ignorant straight people but were bashed by stupid gay people, it's actually pretty sad , how people can do that to there own kind, and its stupid too let the ignorence of others to get to you, your leting them get to you, just ignore and move onicon_neutral.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 14, 2009 2:51 AM GMT
    Pick ur'self up, and dust ur'self officon_cool.gif
  • red_series

    Posts: 136

    May 12, 2010 8:18 AM GMT
    @PDXboxer: No one who took even 2 mins to get to know you would EVER say that shit about you. You and your bf are two of the nicest people I've met, period. Don't let it ruffle your feathers.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 12, 2010 9:24 AM GMT
    I am well hated...

    But that's my job.....

    I like to stir things up....

    Hang in there. It's just the internet.