• HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16412

    Sep 07, 2009 3:25 PM GMT
    I was at the gym the other day... another one of those discussions in the locker room. There was an older gentleman, in good shape, but a little overweight there and we were chatting.

    Absolutely straight gentleman and was complimentary as we talked about our workout routines. He's about 60 or a little older and started talking about when he realized he was beginning to lose his "youth". I could tell this meant something so I ask him questions. For him, he seemed to point to the period in his early 50's.... telling me some of the health related concerns he had that seemed to fester at that time.

    I asked him about his diet... all he said was he had changed it... and that
    I'd understand someday.

    I've heard men talk about "losing their youth" in a variety of facets. Losing hair, gaining weight, health issues. None (and none that I've talked to) seem to point to chronological "age" per se.

    But is it all mental? I find this fascinating. Does you mind somehow tell you are aren't "youthful" anymore and causes additional problems.?

    For me, I'd probably notice some of those internal references that haven't changed at all in recent years ( blood pressure 117/64, cholesteral 122),
    weight, overall health... and I doubt "hair" would ever factor in, but then
    I have mine, maybe I'd feel differently if I had issues.

    So what is it for you? Have you ever thought about it? What are those factors that would make you take notice... maybe the bod is beginning to age.. and change?
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 20932

    Sep 07, 2009 3:57 PM GMT
    For me I think it's really important to just stay active, do what it takes to stay in shape (eat healthy, exercise) and just keep on keepin' on. Once you allow yourself to slow down and start letting things go then it's really hard to get it back and things just sort of start falling apart. A lot of it is a state of mind because if you allow yourself to fall into the "I'm old" mentality, your body, mind, and spirit will follow. I've always had a youthful spirit, and I hope I never lose it. Granted, one day I will wake up and, like it or not, I will be (Horrors!) like 80 or something, but hopefully by then 80 will be the new 50 icon_lol.gif
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    Sep 07, 2009 3:58 PM GMT
    Hey Chris. (Looking uber-hot as always, by the way ...)

    Being about half-way between your age and your "older" acquaintance, I can say that for me, there's a difference between losing my "youth" (I think one ceases to be a young man around 35 - that's just the arc of life) and losing my sex appeal (which, modesty aside, doesn't seem to have occurred as yet). And I think a lot of people (incorrectly) equate those two things: a man is more likely to be in-shape and goodlooking before the age of 40, but as you have no doubt noticed here and elsewhere, there are a good many very in-shape and goodlooking men over the age of 40, 50 and 60.

    Hair loss, graying, a certain amount of skin deterioration seems to be inevitable for most men after 35 or 40; but other things that people often consider "just part of the natural aging process" (loss of muscle, gaining fat) can be delayed -- it takes work, of course, which may be the main difference between youth and maturity: it's much easier to stay in shape in your 20s and 30s than in your 50s (you'll see).

  • baldone

    Posts: 826

    Sep 07, 2009 4:12 PM GMT
    i think i started noticing a loss of youth, so to speak, when things started falling apart at home.....son in legal trouble,coming out to wife and enduring 3 years of staying together after that, then the divorce,moving out, bankruptcy,loosing the house.....this has all taken a toll on the physical being, have found myself very sedentary and most times unable to just giet going and moving, thus have gained about 45/50 pounds, and with the additional weight comes back problems,leg problems, and the worry that the way that i look and feel now, who the hell will want an old fat man like me so the cycle continues, and just festers.....usually really proud of myself when i can just get through the day at work and maybe get laundry done..so for me was early 50's that i began to decline....now wondering if too late to turn back the hands
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    Sep 07, 2009 4:17 PM GMT

    ...and then of course, there's paying no mind to the changes that are inevitable for all. Instead thinking this way....this from my grandpa ( he had the 78 rpm record) when I was a kid and delightfully scared of his false teeth.

    Fairy tales can come true, it can happen to you
    If you're young at heart
    For its hard, you will find, to be narrow of mind
    If you're young at heart

    You can go to extremes with impossible schemes
    You can laugh when your dreams fall apart at the seams
    And life gets more exciting with each passing day
    And love is either in your heart or on its way

    Don't you know that its worth every treasure on earth
    To be young at heart
    For as rich as you are its much better by far
    To be young at heart

    And if you should survive to 105
    Look at all you'll derive out of being alive
    Then here is the best part
    You have a head start
    If you are among the very young at heart

    And if you should survive to 105
    Look at all you'll derive out of being alive
    Then here is the best part
    You have a head start
    If you are among the very young at heart

  • me35mtl

    Posts: 306

    Sep 07, 2009 4:46 PM GMT
    I think its partly to do with how you feel. I myself dont feel old yet, because i still get 25 from people.. So i never go to feeling like i "Look" old..But recently i did feel old when my 19 year old friend dragged me into a club on a friday night..The music was awesome..was having a really good time drinking , dancing..at about 1am, I looked around and kept saying to myself..fuck, these kids in here are WAY TOO young..And thats when it hit me..they were not young..they were exactly my age when i was clubbing in straight clubs..and thats when i really felt old...
    But again its all genetics.. i think you act the way you look and feel..Even though i still look young, i still get treated like a kid at the work place or even with friends and family..so my mentality is still a kid i think..

    BOTTOM LINE: No one knows when they are old..you are old when others tell you your time is up... and in the gay world..man, they sure make it obvious to you cuz so many are hung up with age..So the next time you think someone is gonna tell you that your aging, just stick your fingers in your ears and run for cover..lol (kidding)
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    Sep 07, 2009 5:07 PM GMT
    I plan on keeping mine. icon_biggrin.gif
  • 1974Warrior

    Posts: 90

    Sep 07, 2009 5:10 PM GMT
    i once heard " you're a child for only a short time, but you can be immature forever." icon_twisted.gif
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Sep 07, 2009 5:23 PM GMT
    You mean physically. Probably when I realize that losing weight is not as easy as it use to be. My stomach start to have "Saddle bag " and excess skin when I start to loss weight. My face start to show some sign of saging , with bag under my eye and my hair start to turn grey. I cant run and swim as fast as I use to. My sexual drive not as much as it use to be and I cant top anymore because my penis not as hard as it use to be(so I shift my role form top to bottom)

    But in term of having fun, being adventurest, and my lust for life...I dont think I lose any of that yet.
  • Thirdbeach

    Posts: 1366

    Sep 07, 2009 5:23 PM GMT
    How about:

    You don't understand the words in the songs that "kids today" listen to.

    When you notice that the music is being played too loud.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 07, 2009 5:25 PM GMT
    No longer a youth at 20. No longer youthful? That depends largely on genes and lifestyle and, most importantly, attitude.
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    Sep 07, 2009 5:31 PM GMT
    I know I get flack for being "young" and saying this. "How would you know" etc....but;

    I have had great experiences with older people. i have seen that it is a matter of keeping your inner child alive. That song "Young At Heart" is exactly it. I hear about a man, who for his 90th birthday, was doing one of the more vigerous hikes at the Grand Canyon. Amazing. My grandfather, who is in his 60's, still laughs and jokes like he did when I was a kid. Has that same spirit he always had. It amazes me when I see that, and has made me realize that as long as I'm young at heart, I'm going to be ok. Life happens, good and bad.

    I have also met people who have come back from incredible odds, and revived their lives and their "inner child", Its something you can see in their eyes, the way they carry themselves, and how they interact with others. I love seeing that in people. Makes me smile. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Sep 07, 2009 5:36 PM GMT
    Hmm, i saw this forum , i just had to give a response. lol. Well because im avery active person, if your talking body pains and injuries, i'd say mid 30's for me, but thats not what I consider aging. Im a non smoker, non drinker, been workin out since age 18 consistently. I think outward appearance wise its partially genetics. I'm 46, no grey yet n have 99% of my hair that i had when i was younger. My only drawback is i like the sun, so wrinkling is going to come soon. But I have to say I noticed and outwardly aging appearance change mid 40s for me. I think its different for everyone. Its half how you treat your body, no smoke, little alcohol no drugs , workin out and eating well.
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    Sep 07, 2009 5:46 PM GMT
    For me, the only thing I notice is a certain increasing intolerance for the antics kids get up to these days. It just takes a bit longer to remember that when I was their age, I acted the exact same way as them.

    That, and the fact I can't stay out til four in the morning dancing without being a little...tired...the next day.
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    Sep 07, 2009 6:07 PM GMT
    I call it the "death of youth". For about the last 4 years I've been working through it. For me it has been dealing with the first half of life and now looking forward to the next stage, which if you haven't looked around the locker room lately, isn't real pretty in some cases. Hey but at lease they're working out!

    My goal is to be in the best shape possible and be thankful for each day. Understanding I'm not 25 anymore is also a part of it. I want to be young at heart but not a fool.
  • tallbudsf

    Posts: 7

    Sep 07, 2009 6:18 PM GMT
    I believe there is emotional maturity as well as physical maturity. Hopefully those are in sync, however someone can be physical mature and very emotional immature or vice versa and in between.

    There have been numerous studies done on the Stages of Life.

    However since were on RJ I gather most of us here have in interest in Health and Fitness and Sports. As we age we all are going to experience various issues with our bodies that are inevitable. It's the process of aging.

    I'm currently 49yrs and people are always telling me that I look very young.
    I smile and say "Thanks". However I was one of those guys that at 18yrs looked like a tall 12yr old! When I was 18-21 I wanted to look like other guys who were getting facial hair and their bodies were maturing, I was a late bloomer.

    I will say when I hit my mid 30's my body finally started to develop and fill out, of course I was smarter about my workouts and diet.

    Even though I'm thankful for good genes, the first sign of physical change came around late 30's, I noticed that where I never had an ounce of fat around my midsection, started to just get a very slight bulge. Now for some this can be an issue even in their teens, depending often if they are ectomorphs, mesomorphs, or endomorphs.

    Someone with darker features maybe blessed with less hardships on their skin from the sun and elements that someone who is fair.

    Of course how one has treated their body along with their personal life experiences can have an affect on their aging.

    But generally speaking, late 30's to mid 40's is probably a stage that we'll all go through with the beginning of physical changes, then another stage around mid 40's to early 50's, and so on.

    At 49yrs, I still have tons of physical energy, however I realize that the recovery time from working out is more important than when I was younger.
    Also. I pay more attention to my diet than I did at 21. As we age our body will have more tendency to loose muscle and retain fat, so if you want to a fit and toned body your going to need to be more disciplined and focused or have a good doctor!

    I know 60yr olds that are very fit, youthful, mature and fun loving, and I know 30yr olds that are going on 50 physically and emotionally, granted a 30yr old who is aging rapidly is more rare than not.

    As my sis-in-law told me, wait till you hit 45! I think that is a key age or around there where things start to happen, and depending or your outlook on life that can be a turning point on how youthful and fit you will be as you age.

    I often find at my age, a big challenge is dating someone within my age range that can keep up with all the activities that I like to do! My friends get exhausted just hearing I go to the gym 4 times a week and swim 3 x a week, that's if they even work out!

    Now I think I will take a nap! icon_lol.gif
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    Sep 07, 2009 6:54 PM GMT

    The first time I accidentally sat on my balls, I knew it was pretty much over.
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    Sep 07, 2009 7:02 PM GMT
    In the end, IMHO, Youth is a state of mind.

    Sure there are physical attributes associated with age. There's the midlife crisis. But...it's all in how we deal with these things.
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    Sep 07, 2009 7:06 PM GMT
    It's mostly a state of mind. But I do feel a little old whenever I spot a grey nose hair. icon_lol.gif
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    Sep 07, 2009 7:38 PM GMT
    Most days I just feel like I always have. Get a bit tired earlier now. Can't party as much as I used to. Feel the effects of partying like I used to for longer after. Hairs all grey or white now. Gonna be 50 very shortly. These are all signs of loosing our youth. I'd say natural progression of life would be around 50 to 60. Though it does seem to effect those that work for me at a younger age and that PISSES ME THE FUCK OFF... icon_twisted.gif
  • latenighter

    Posts: 64

    Sep 07, 2009 7:56 PM GMT
    its all mental. you think age 50 is old, no, someone at their 80s can tell you that you still have your youth. its all relative
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    Sep 07, 2009 8:42 PM GMT
    When I came out late, just a few months shy of 46, I quickly realized I was already old in gay terms. In gay years well over 100 at that point, and about 150 today.

    Well, there wasn't a lot I could do about my age, so I literally devised a plan to compensate and deal with it. First, no delusions I was a twink, just stay out of that scene altogether. None of their clothes, haircuts, hangouts or attitude.

    Second, look for guys my own age, even though I learned a lot of them were over at the twink places I was avoiding, indulging their own unrealistic fantasies. Third, have as much fun as I could with the time I had left. Don't waste a day, just do it, do it, do it. Being retired, my only job was finding new ways to have gay fun all the time, to make up for my "squandered" years.

    I figured I would have 10 years at the most. In all immodesty, I was very young looking at 45, a family trait, most gay men taking me for 10 years younger. But that same family history predicted my looks & health would decline rapidly around 55, and that's exactly what happened.

    So I embarked on my "10-year plan" and had a fantastic time. I started to pull back as I went past 55, and now at 60 I'm basically "retired" from the club scene. I still have a very active social life, but it's a "mature" one with men my own age, cocktail parties & receptions instead of clubbing, dancing & tricking. And I'm very content, because I accomplished exactly what I set out to do. Plus managed to find a partner in the process. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Sep 07, 2009 8:53 PM GMT
    It is all in how you feel...

    I'm gonna stay this way forever.

  • jrs1

    Posts: 4388

    Sep 07, 2009 8:54 PM GMT

    ... when you lose your spirit/zest for life.
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    Sep 07, 2009 9:02 PM GMT
    I prefer Durante's version...he makes me feel the song, not just hear it ... icon_biggrin.gif

    I have heard that 30 is 18 with money. And I would like to add, 50 is 30 with wisdom! ... icon_biggrin.gif

    I think the male body really starts to lose it in the 40s if one doesnt exercise and eat right....but even then it takes a greater effort.