Gays Who Don't Date

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 08, 2009 4:41 AM GMT
    Why do some gay men not date? After coming out of a 17 year hetero marriage, I'm really confused by this. Can anybody enlighten me?
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    Sep 08, 2009 6:21 AM GMT
    why do some str8 men not date? Some just don't want to. A booty is probably all they need and want.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 08, 2009 12:52 PM GMT
    Because they get tired of the games. Some men suffer from the flight syndrome when things get really tough they run like scary little sissies!
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    Sep 08, 2009 2:41 PM GMT
    jprichva saidI don't date because men irritate the crap out of me.


    LOL icon_lol.gif

    now now now - that's coz you've just not found the right man as yet
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    Sep 08, 2009 2:42 PM GMT
    gay men date- their idea of a date... well that's the issueicon_razz.gif
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Sep 08, 2009 2:49 PM GMT
    I date, but very rarely. Most people would think I do not date. My best friend calls me his "asexual friend". When I have a date it is with someone that I have a sincere interest in, not someone that I just want to f*ck. I don't do the hook up either, so yeah I don't get much action. I'm fine with that and I don't have to prove anything. I have about 4-5 dates a year, unless I find someone to date more longterm.
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    Sep 08, 2009 2:51 PM GMT
    Q:What do lesbians bring to a second date ?
    A: A U-Haul

    Q: What do gay men bring to a second date ?
    A: What second date ?

    Alternate Answer: A second date. icon_twisted.gif
  • gymguy81

    Posts: 455

    Sep 08, 2009 2:54 PM GMT
    gay men bring a condom on the first date.




    i dont date because i cant find a guy around me that i can stand for more than 5 min who dont play the im email games
  • lostlogic

    Posts: 223

    Sep 08, 2009 2:56 PM GMT
    Not date and just screw around? Like lenoxx said, I think if straight men now days had all the say... they wouldn't feel the need to commit so much. It's not a gay thing but I think it's just how most men think. Men are just wired to be sexually importunate. I other hand would rather go on a few dates before taking it emotionally and physically to the next level.
  • Delivis

    Posts: 2332

    Sep 08, 2009 2:58 PM GMT
    I have never been on a date or hookup, or anything of the sort.
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Sep 08, 2009 3:16 PM GMT
    Delivis saidI have never been on a date or hookup, or anything of the sort.


    What's left?
  • Delivis

    Posts: 2332

    Sep 08, 2009 3:26 PM GMT
    Celticmusl said
    Delivis saidI have never been on a date or hookup, or anything of the sort.


    What's left?


    Spending time as friends with no pretenses and seeing what develops? That's how i got my boyfriend. We never "dated".
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Sep 08, 2009 3:29 PM GMT
    I can see where a guy may have other requirements in his life, professional responsibility and lack of personal time that would either prohibit dating... or they guy just might not want to screw around with some of the games that happen when dating.
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    Sep 08, 2009 3:36 PM GMT
    Delivis said
    Celticmusl said
    Delivis saidI have never been on a date or hookup, or anything of the sort.


    What's left?


    Spending time as friends with no pretenses and seeing what develops? That's how i got my boyfriend. We never "dated".
    but then you met and presumedly began dating right? I mean, you're not just sitting home staring at each other right? So you no longer fit the OPs question, you found someone while not really looking which is cool.
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Sep 08, 2009 3:40 PM GMT
    Delivis said
    Celticmusl said
    Delivis saidI have never been on a date or hookup, or anything of the sort.


    What's left?


    Spending time as friends with no pretenses and seeing what develops? That's how i got my boyfriend. We never "dated".


    OK well I think we are just talking about semantics then. Even when I have a BF I still date him and have dates with him. That's why I say I date and I don't hook up.

    Other than that, I know guys like yourself that just want to hang out and become friends and see where it goes, which on the most part is fine. To an old man like myself, however, it gets really confusing because I'm not sure if I should just like them as a friend or as a POI(person of interest). I deal with my friends differently than I deal with a person of interest, and my friends know the POI is more important in my schedule than a friend. If a friend has to cancel plans to have a second or third date with someone they are really interested in it is fine by me and I am excited for my friend.
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    Sep 08, 2009 3:58 PM GMT
    In some cases, it's because they're the walking wounded.
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    Sep 08, 2009 4:04 PM GMT
    I just started dating last year and its been exhausting and expensive. Dealing with guys sometimes is like how you feel after spending a day at an amusement park.

    Someone here mentioned that they don't "date" they just become friends and see where it develops. Well that doesn't work either because eventually one friend may get feelings and then it all becomes complicated and awkward. I had one "friend" that got jealous every time I mentioned mutual or new friends.

    I'm about to just become I monk and live isolated in a tower...
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    Sep 08, 2009 4:05 PM GMT
    RunnerBen> In some cases, it's because they're the walking wounded.

    Or because they're tired of running into the walking wounded?
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Sep 08, 2009 4:09 PM GMT
    Indy404 saidI just started dating last year and its been exhausting and expensive. Dealing with guys sometimes is like how you feel after spending a day at an amusement park.

    Someone here mentioned that they don't "date" they just become friends and see where it develops. Well that doesn't work either because eventually one friend may get feelings and then it all becomes complicated and awkward. I had one "friend" that got jealous every time I mentioned mutual or new friends.

    I'm about to just become I monk and live isolated in a tower...


    Dating is expensive, period! Luckily I let the other guy buy. Lol, just kidding, if I start dating someone I would love to have dates 3 times a week but realistically I can only afford one date a week and then it's just bike rides or hiking.
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Sep 08, 2009 4:12 PM GMT
    I dont date because I cant find anyone who is into dating. All they want is sex, that it.
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    Sep 08, 2009 4:22 PM GMT
    Are you asking why some men just hook up instead of dating, or why some guys have given up on dating altogether? I don't have many options for dating these days as I moved out of the city and away from all things gay. Even if I did have better prospects, though, I don't think I'd put much effort into dating these days.

    I was much more enthusiastic about finding a relationship when I was younger. But I have a different perspective now. I think everyone should be free to follow his bliss and live his life as he sees fit. That said, my experience has taught me that a gay relationship probably isn't in the cards for me. I don't think it's really what I want, deep down. I accept my sexuality for what it is, but I don't feel compelled to make a life or lifestyle out of it - and I'm much happier now that I came to that realization.

    I can't deny that, when I look at my gay friends and acquaintances, none of them have what I would call "healthy" relationships. They're either sexless and unhappy (been there...too many times!) or cheating on each other (been there too...sigh), neither of which I want. I'd like to believe that gay relationships can work without being highly dysfunctional, but I have yet to see it happen. And I've frankly lost interest in throwing myself against a rock wall.
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    Sep 08, 2009 4:28 PM GMT

    Hey guys, dating can be anything. A favourite date; being with Bill on a walk with his dog when we first met. Going to a swap-meet/flea market where we just strolled around looking at everything. Each of us packing a lunch from our homes then going somewhere where we sat and sampled each other's lunches, lol, just like grade school. Spending time at each other's places going through pics and telling each other our histories.Taking our bikes out for a ride. Getting together to make dinner; we each brought something from home and had fun in his kitchen which led to other rooms and...well, never mind, lol.

    Dates, for us, revolved around experiencing each other rather than external stimulus to entertain us.


    -Doug

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    Sep 08, 2009 4:31 PM GMT
    I rarely date anymore. It just isn't worth the trouble living up to petty gay's standards: "Do you wear the right type underwear"; "Do you make enough money"; "Do you live your life the way I think you should"; "Do you listen to the right music"; etc. Overall just too many games/bullshit, so I resigned myself to being single. I still have sexual desires, but one dosn't have to date to take care of that icon_wink.gif
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    Sep 08, 2009 4:36 PM GMT
    phemt saidI rarely date anymore. It just isn't worth the trouble living up to petty gay's standards: "Do you wear the right type underwear"; "Do you make enough money"; "Do you live your life the way I think you should"; "Do you listen to the right music"; etc. Overall just too many games/bullshit, so I resigned myself to being single. I still have sexual desires, but one dosn't have to date to take care of that icon_wink.gif


    It's like high school that doesn't end. Sometimes I wonder if gay men just stop developing emotionally at some point. When I look at the ideals and images that frame the gay community, it all feels very juvenile to me.
  • vindog

    Posts: 1440

    Sep 08, 2009 4:37 PM GMT
    I'm into it, but I've only met a couple guys I'd be into dating. I have a pretty high standard that starts with consideration, health and genuine coolness.


    I recognize I'm not the most easily date-able person for the general gay population: I work in the live and electronic music industry, I exercise a lot and eat extremely well....and on top of that I'm a nerd. Plus I'm pretty clueless when it comes to gay culture.


    Then that said, I every once in awhile will totally cut loose and party till the sun comes up.


    So I guess it's a situation that I fall in the middle of extremes, and to find someone that jives with me on this level is tough. I'm really not looking into being with someone that we do everything together, as I think people should have some separate interests that they do alone or with their friends.