Was he flirting at the gym?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 08, 2009 9:25 AM GMT
    So, guys I need some advice.

    I am a relatively good looking, toned/defined 27 year old lad who enjoys going to the gym regularly. I always seem to get attention out and about on the scene etc but when it comes to the gym, my confidence in other guys goes out the window. I am crap. If someone looks, I look away. I have absolutely no idea why and even though I know I am doing it, I can't seem to stop. Call me pathetic.

    Anyway... there are two guys in the gym who I fancy the pants off. The first one has been giving me eye contact for months. He looks, looks away, looks again, looks when he is going from machine to machine or just about anywhere. I catch him looking at the corner of his eye and we often see each other outside of the gym. He does a rather strange 'looking into your soul' gaze which is immensely hot. He gave me a very slight small smile a while back but since then nothing. He stills look occasionally but I am so confused to what it means, if anything. Is he interested? If so, why hasn't he once said hi.

    Then there is the second guy, I was casually walking through the gym and he clocks me. We have a brief moment of eyeballing each other then its over. He then goes off the get some water and I see him looking. Now I wasn't sure if he just wanted to use the same machine, he then then comes over and asks to use it in between sets. As he pulls himself up I pretty much stare at him as he is pretty damn fit (he can't see me doing this, or at least I hope he cant) and then he jumps back down. As he does this he flashes me the biggest smile and waits for me to do my next set. After his next one he can't quite lift himself all the way up and falls back down. We both laugh and yet again he flashes me that lovely smile with a cheeky grin after. He leaves. Now I am very confused. Was that all one big flirt off and I missed it or is that just a straight guy being friendly?

    You see, I told you I was crap. I really don't know how to read the signals and I just wondered if anyone had any comments before I make a dick of myself and speak to him again...
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Sep 08, 2009 10:34 AM GMT
    You're never going to know unless you talk to these guys

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    Sep 08, 2009 12:21 PM GMT
    GQjock saidYou're never going to know unless you talk to these guys


    It's a mystery why some people will devote so much energy to interpreting the hidden meaning of some random look or move, when all you have to do is start talking. You're both there, you have a common interest in working out, there are a thousand possible gym topics, there's no pressure because it's not a setting with an obvious sexual subtext, and it's totally risk-free because if the conversation doesn't flow you can just move on to the next station.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Sep 08, 2009 12:33 PM GMT
    You have absolutely been given the right advice. Ask some questions and if either guy tells you he will have to get back to you (with the answer, especially if he has look up some information), ask him if you can check back with him later in the week.

    When you make conversation, you have to be ready to jump on an opportunity, especially if its something of similar interest. Smile yourself,
    be complimentary and friendly.
  • coolarmydude

    Posts: 9190

    Sep 08, 2009 3:59 PM GMT
    You start off with casual conversations. Then you move to doing something platonically together. As the two of you get to know each other better, you both will become more comfortable with each other and will send signals to each other to respond to, if that should be the case. If not, then at the least, you've gained a friend.


    Just do something.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 08, 2009 7:22 PM GMT
    Thanks for the advice so far... It was more of a question of if that kind of behavior sounds like someone who is being flirty. I just don't know. I do plan on speaking to him the next time I see him as now I feel the ice has been broken. Damn, I cant stop thinking about that smile of his. So hot and charming of him. I did smile back so hopefully he will be thinking the same thing. I guess my flaw is he is a lot taller, very built and generally hot. I suppose I consider him out of my league but then he did start all this so...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 08, 2009 7:33 PM GMT
    W4Chelsea said he is a lot taller, very built and generally hot. I suppose I consider him out of my league but then he did start all this so...

    Until you talk to him you have no idea how he thinks. He may have a yen for guys who are shorter and leaner, he may not. Until you actually see how he interacts with you you're simply projecting your fears onto a blank slate.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 08, 2009 7:46 PM GMT
    You bring up a huge point, though. There is this sort of flirting that guys do that's somewhat ambiguous when they're not sure if you're straight or gay. I'm pretty flirtatious anyway with whomever so I get it back quite a bit but with guys it's a tricky thing. I have a hard time with this area myself. I can chat it up with you but I won't "go there" so I think they probably assume that I'm straight when I start yapping about "guy stuff" and then they go into macho mode themselves and it dies right there. I could use some enlightened feedback myself.
  • Koaa2

    Posts: 1556

    Sep 08, 2009 7:50 PM GMT
    W4Chelsea saidThanks for the advice so far... It was more of a question of if that kind of behavior sounds like someone who is being flirty. I just don't know. I do plan on speaking to him the next time I see him as now I feel the ice has been broken. Damn, I cant stop thinking about that smile of his. So hot and charming of him. I did smile back so hopefully he will be thinking the same thing. I guess my flaw is he is a lot taller, very built and generally hot. I suppose I consider him out of my league but then he did start all this so...


    I would like to suggest that you find some assertiveness training classes ASAP, I think it will help you a lot and build some confidence in yourself.