"Houston, we have a Bottom..."

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    Sep 08, 2009 3:13 PM GMT
    Okay, I may be revealing too much about myself in this post but I consider myself (mostly) a Top. I enjoy topping a lot. However, I have the tendency to imagine being a bottom for certain individuals. Its been happening more often lately.

    Maybe its just that I need to get it out of my system since I haven't done that in 9 years. That last time was only my second time doing it ever and I didn't enjoy it much, although it was better than the first time. But I always say that when in a relationship with someone I would want there to be no (safe) limitations to what we do in the bedroom. If tonight he wants to top, lets let it happen...and vice versa...

    Anyway, because its something always hovering around in my brain I've made it a point to seek out for guys that were at least versatile. But maybe those guys are an endangered species because I only seem to find total bottoms that would prefer not to ever acknowledge they have a penis if they could.

    I'm not the jerk that asks about positions on the first date. But usually by the time we get to that conversation I'm already kinda interested in the guy only to be let down once again.

    I'm kinda tall (6'2"), attractive, in decent shape (room for muscular improvement but not fat), naturally masculine (gay dudes always ask me if I'm really gay) and I don't dress in tight fitting jeans showing off "assets" (lol).

    Could it be as simple as that? Am I naturally attracting bottoms because I look like a top or someone that they want to top them? Is everyone really just a bottom and tops are like the one Rooster on the farm? Or is it that, at least in Atlanta, there are hardly in tops, vers/tops or versatile men left?

    Or am I making too big a deal of all this?

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    Sep 08, 2009 7:03 PM GMT
    You're definitely making too much of a big deal out of this: either you like it up the ass or you don't.
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    Sep 08, 2009 7:23 PM GMT
    ROFL.

    Gay drama can be SO FUNNY.
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    Sep 08, 2009 7:27 PM GMT
    Okay here's the thing

    If the guy says he's versatile usually you can fuck him all you want but he's often unenthusiastic about being top or at least l lacks the insatiable drive that guys who are tops which makes being on the receiving end attractive

    If the guys says he's a top you can be guaranteed that you will get fucked and he'll be good at it. But you can't fuck him or even in some cases do anything with his rear and like any human the fact that you can't makes you want to even more.

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    Sep 08, 2009 8:02 PM GMT
    MsclDrew saidIf the guys says he's a top you can be guaranteed that you will get fucked and he'll be good at it.


    I don't think that's true, and some vers guys are stellar tops - and bottoms.

    Let's not generalize...

    And OP, yes you are reading too much into it. Do whatever you feel like doing, and practice safe! icon_cool.gif (Love the title, btw :lolicon_smile.gif
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    Sep 08, 2009 10:28 PM GMT
    MsclDrew saidOkay here's the thing

    If the guy says he's versatile usually you can fuck him all you want but he's often unenthusiastic about being top or at least l lacks the insatiable drive that guys who are tops which makes being on the receiving end attractive

    If the guys says he's a top you can be guaranteed that you will get fucked and he'll be good at it. But you can't fuck him or even in some cases do anything with his rear and like any human the fact that you can't makes you want to even more.



    I couldnt agree more. I am a total top and am good at it. I know how to feel my partners rhythum as well as contractions. And no I dont want to be rimmed or have my ass played with but I will be all over yours.

    And your reading too much into it. But if youre ever in Cocoa Beach FL, look me up stud.
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    Sep 08, 2009 10:43 PM GMT
    BeachBiMan said
    MsclDrew saidOkay here's the thing

    If the guy says he's versatile usually you can fuck him all you want but he's often unenthusiastic about being top or at least l lacks the insatiable drive that guys who are tops which makes being on the receiving end attractive

    If the guys says he's a top you can be guaranteed that you will get fucked and he'll be good at it. But you can't fuck him or even in some cases do anything with his rear and like any human the fact that you can't makes you want to even more.



    I couldnt agree more. I am a total top and am good at it. I know how to feel my partners rhythum as well as contractions. And no I dont want to be rimmed or have my ass played with but I will be all over yours.

    And your reading too much into it. But if youre ever in Cocoa Beach FL, look me up stud.



    That's the kind of man I'm looking for!
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    Sep 09, 2009 11:43 PM GMT
    MsclDrew saidOkay here's the thing

    If the guy says he's versatile usually you can fuck him all you want but he's often unenthusiastic about being top or at least l lacks the insatiable drive that guys who are tops which makes being on the receiving end attractive

    If the guys says he's a top you can be guaranteed that you will get fucked and he'll be good at it. But you can't fuck him or even in some cases do anything with his rear and like any human the fact that you can't makes you want to even more.


    Versatile... according to the last guy I toppedl.. apparently I'm god, I was to do it harder, yes yes yes god yes and oh my god thats good where said a few times

    I wont get into any details of the last guy I bottomed for, he was a little rude icon_biggrin.gif
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    Sep 09, 2009 11:54 PM GMT
    I wouldn't say you're making too big of a deal, but maybe after reading what you posted that you might be looking in all the wrong places or are falling into a pattern of going after a certain type of guy who fits outside of what you are consciously looking for.

    And I'm with flex when he says :
    "... either you like it up the ass or you don't."

    That goes for gay guys in general in my opinion. It confuses the hell out of me why most would even make that a deciding factor as to who they are onto and choose to love in the long run. One night stand ...ok..maybe...but when it comes to a relationship I think making sexual position an issue is as dumb as saying " Im not going to date someone who eats icecream"
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    Sep 10, 2009 3:32 AM GMT
    Sage_keon saidIt confuses the hell out of me why most would even make that a deciding factor as to who they are onto and choose to love in the long run. One night stand ...ok..maybe...but when it comes to a relationship I think making sexual position an issue is as dumb as saying " Im not going to date someone who eats icecream"


    Umm...because if down the road you find out you are both total tops or total bottoms there could be issues in maintaining the relationship.

    Could you honestly see yourself content in a LTR if you were not being fulfilled sexually?
  • jrs1

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    Sep 15, 2009 11:59 PM GMT
    For my ex-, I enjoyed the privilege of topping him. neither of us were strict tops nor bottoms (shivers at the use of such terms), so it was not a problem. for when that time arrives, I would like to learn how to effectively bottom for my guy because I feel as though it is a skill that - once I've reached that intimate level of comfort with someone - I would like to learn. I can appreciate versatility so that both partners can see the multiple perspectives in terms of sex. But if a guy is a strict top, for example, I'm not going to fight with him to get him to bottom for me ... I have better things to do with my time ... like watching Avatar: the Last Airbender.
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    Sep 16, 2009 12:21 AM GMT
    these forums are getting to sexual... ugh, isn't that what a4a is for... gawd!
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    Sep 16, 2009 12:44 AM GMT
    jrunner25 saidthese forums are getting to sexual... ugh, isn't that what a4a is for... gawd!


    No, a4a is for finding a top or a bottom for instant gratification followed by a twinge of cringe.
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    Sep 21, 2009 10:07 PM GMT
    You should discuss this in your first few dates (if you're not having sex), at least whether either of you is "top", "bottom", or "versatile". I always try to have sex on first few dates because I just can't hold off trying to top an attractive guy. If we hadn't discussed it I can get a good idea of his preferred role by his demeanor, foreplay, etc.