So now you've finally got your new hot body...But you're still single???

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 08, 2009 3:21 PM GMT
    A friend of mine was always into muscular guys but he was a bit on the chunky side himself. Those guys never gave him the time of day. So he worked hard, got his new cut body and...He's STILL single. He's still going through the dating process and not liking his options. Turns out, with the new body he's just attracting a different type of "loser".

    A lot of people with extra pounds think it would be so much easier to date if they had ripped abs and huge arms. But most of the guys I have met slaving away in the gym with the hot bods are still single themselves...

    Is this a problem for most of you guys?



  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 08, 2009 5:47 PM GMT
    this is because most buff gym bunnies spent all of their times at the gym, they don't have time to socialize or date much - there are guys out there who prefer the lean/natural look - and just bc you're trying to look like Arnold on steroids - doesn't mean most guys will find you hot.
  • ChilaxinJOCK0...

    Posts: 1513

    Sep 08, 2009 8:08 PM GMT
    I think sometimes guys think when they look real good that they won't have to put any effort into meeting guys/girls (w/e) and that they will be flooded with ppl hitting on them. Maybe ur friend just needs to look for someone he might like and go after em. Idk? is that way off?
  • jarhead5536

    Posts: 1348

    Sep 08, 2009 8:13 PM GMT
    An observation...

    When I was skinny, I was lonely because no one would go out with me. I dreamed of being wanted for my body. Then I got one.

    I was even lonelier because everyone just wanted to hook up. I would get my hopes up every time only to be brushed off because there is always going to be someone prettier, with prettier muscles...
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    Sep 08, 2009 8:15 PM GMT
    I think that many gay men with great physiques tend to think that having one is the only thing that they need to have to offer someone else, which is why so many of them are just as single as the chubby/ugly guys

    I know that that is a broad statement, but a point of view that has developed over years and years of going out and almost a year of being on this site.

    Moral of the story: a nice/pretty package ain't enough. Have more to offer, or accept your fate with a big muscly bear hug.
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    Sep 08, 2009 8:18 PM GMT
    Indy404 saidA friend of mine was always into muscular guys but he was a bit on the chunky side himself. Those guys never gave him the time of day. So he worked hard, got his new cut body and...He's STILL single. He's still going through the dating process and not liking his options. Turns out, with the new body he's just attracting a different type of "loser".

    A lot of people with extra pounds think it would be so much easier to date if they had ripped abs and huge arms. But most of the guys I have met slaving away in the gym with the hot bods are still single themselves...

    Is this a problem for most of you guys?



    That's because having cepts and abs do not make you any less insecure or make you any more attractive a package. So you work on the outside and never take time to work on the important stuff - the internal issues. do you really expect anything more, than for such guys to remain single?

    then again- perhaps they just don't date or wanna date icon_razz.gif
  • swimbikerun

    Posts: 2835

    Sep 08, 2009 8:24 PM GMT
    Well, I've recently lost a lot of weight... It's funny, I get a lot more flirting but not really a more than that.
    Being in better shape can give one more confidence but that doesn't overcome the realities of dating.
    Is he getting hit on by more guys but he's not attracted to them? Bet that's the case.
    And you're going to be generally unhappy if the primary reason you're working out is for someone else. For me, exercising is incorporated into my lifestyle because I really enjoy it.
  • MuslDrew

    Posts: 463

    Sep 08, 2009 8:37 PM GMT
    I think improving your physique and neglecting other things increases your opportunities for hook ups. Incorporating other interests such as sports, creative arts, church, volunteerism, etc. will broaden your social contacts. More likely to come across potential dates in those settings than in gyms or bars.
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    Sep 08, 2009 8:39 PM GMT
    Maybe it's about who and what he's attracted to and not his physique at all.
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    Sep 08, 2009 8:44 PM GMT
    badmikeyt saidI think that many gay men with great physiques tend to think that having one is the only thing that they need to have to offer someone else, which is why so many of them are just as single as the chubby/ugly guys

    I know that that is a broad statement, but a point of view that has developed over years and years of going out and almost a year of being on this site.

    Moral of the story: a nice/pretty package ain't enough. Have more to offer, or accept your fate with a big muscly bear hug.


    Amen sistah!icon_biggrin.gif
  • gymguy81

    Posts: 455

    Sep 08, 2009 8:47 PM GMT
    no i have similar issues i cant meet a good guy and i use to be skinny now yeah guys look for hook i cant get them past that to let them see i have anything to offer.
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    Sep 08, 2009 9:38 PM GMT
    This really isn't a surprise to me. After all, looks do not make the man.

    Working out should be viewed as an activity to increase performance and overall health. Seeing it as a way to find a date is unhealthy and destructive.
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    Sep 08, 2009 9:40 PM GMT
    Pianist saidThis really isn't a surprise to me. After all, looks do not make the man.

    Working out should be viewed as an activity to increase performance and overall health. Seeing it as a way to find a date is unhealthy and destructive.


    And a way of life for many in the gay community!
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    Sep 08, 2009 9:45 PM GMT
    Yeah, muscle guys, tri-athletes and guys with dogs don't have time to do anything else.
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19136

    Sep 08, 2009 9:59 PM GMT
    I've seen enough unattractive out of shape guys around -- with boyfriends -- to know that a fit body doesn't guarantee anything.
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    Sep 08, 2009 10:03 PM GMT
    Indy404 saidA friend of mine was always into muscular guys but he was a bit on the chunky side himself. Those guys never gave him the time of day. So he worked hard, got his new cut body and...He's STILL single. He's still going through the dating process and not liking his options. Turns out, with the new body he's just attracting a different type of "loser".

    A lot of people with extra pounds think it would be so much easier to date if they had ripped abs and huge arms. But most of the guys I have met slaving away in the gym with the hot bods are still single themselves...

    Is this a problem for most of you guys?






    Can I get his number?
  • swimbikerun

    Posts: 2835

    Sep 08, 2009 10:14 PM GMT
    Alpha13 saidYeah, muscle guys, tri-athletes and guys with dogs don't have time to do anything else.
    Hey that's not true (though I'm not a muscle guy nor do I have a dog)!

    Now if you're training for an Ironman, that's when there's no time for friends/lovers, lol...

    And I actually prefer being single. Why is being single automatically considering an undesirable situation?

  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Sep 08, 2009 10:18 PM GMT
    Since I came out and did anything socially involving gay dating, I've never been single, so I can't really give much input.

    If I was single, I'd assume I'd know what was important to me and I'd date those I'd feel comfortable dating. If they were more into sex than getting to know me, I'd probably pass.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 08, 2009 10:22 PM GMT
    swimbikerun -
    And I actually prefer being single. Why is being single automatically considering an undesirable situation?


    Because as a Single, (male or female, gay or straight), society views you as an Incomplete person that needed to be loved! (heard that from somewhere - Carrie from Sex and The City.) icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 08, 2009 10:24 PM GMT
    I've been slowly improving my physique over the past half year or so and I see about the same in terms of flirting or even people being interested. Maybe I've just gotta get along a bit further before I qualify as "hot bod" enough.
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    Sep 08, 2009 10:37 PM GMT
    jprichva said
    CuriousJockAZ saidI've seen enough unattractive out of shape guys around -- with boyfriends -- to know that a fit body doesn't guarantee anything.

    And yet the gorgeous men like you are still single.......go figya


    OH.... there's always some mild flirtation going on in these forums. Juicy.
    ^_^

    MuslDrew saidI think improving your physique and neglecting other things increases your opportunities for hook ups. Incorporating other interests such as sports, creative arts, church, volunteerism, etc. will broaden your social contacts. More likely to come across potential dates in those settings than in gyms or bars.


    +1
    Most people you will meet at bars are interested in hooking up only and so... the likely hood of finding something long term is not likely.

    He'll be better off going to (non sexual) social events.
    ------------------
    Aren't you supposed to workout to improve *your* self image and not the one that others have of you?
    I do it because I love the way it makes me feel. I get a sense of accomplishment after a good hard workout.
    -----------------
    Indy404 saidA lot of people with extra pounds think it would be so much easier to date if they had ripped abs and huge arms.


    It is... I'm sure he is attracting many more 'losers' now than he was before.
    So he isn't attracting his target audience.... at least he's getting more attention. right?

    *smirk*
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 08, 2009 10:51 PM GMT
    I think if you are happy with yourself and it will show.
    Then other will feed off of that. icon_biggrin.gif

    Q
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 08, 2009 10:57 PM GMT
    SexySwimmer said swimbikerun -
    And I actually prefer being single. Why is being single automatically considering an undesirable situation?


    Because as a Single, (male or female, gay or straight), society views you as an Incomplete person that needed to be loved! (heard that from somewhere - Carrie from Sex and The City.) icon_cool.gif


    You're gay, why are you shaping your opinion of a person's single situation based upon the opinion of a "society" that also views you as undesirable? icon_rolleyes.gif

    I agree with swimbikerun. Some people would rather not burn their time dating guys they find undesirable simply because they're single.
  • styrgan

    Posts: 2017

    Sep 08, 2009 10:59 PM GMT
    jprichva said
    CuriousJockAZ saidI've seen enough unattractive out of shape guys around -- with boyfriends -- to know that a fit body doesn't guarantee anything.

    And yet the gorgeous men like you are still single.......go figya


    It's cause he's Republican, isn't it?

    icon_wink.gif
  • swimbikerun

    Posts: 2835

    Sep 08, 2009 11:03 PM GMT
    RyanReBoRn said
    SexySwimmer said swimbikerun -
    And I actually prefer being single. Why is being single automatically considering an undesirable situation?


    Because as a Single, (male or female, gay or straight), society views you as an Incomplete person that needed to be loved! (heard that from somewhere - Carrie from Sex and The City.) icon_cool.gif


    You're gay, why are you shaping your opinion of a person's single situation based upon the opinion of a "society" that also views you as undesirable? icon_rolleyes.gif

    I agree with swimbikerun. Some people would rather not burn their time dating guys they find undesirable simply because they're single.
    Well that and I've already done two stints in the "LTR" concentration camp. lol!
    Now I'm only turned on by love when it's cheap. icon_twisted.gif