Does anyone find a corelation between the severity of their depression and the closer they try to go back to religion... and the lessening as they go back to gay life.

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    Sep 09, 2009 1:30 AM GMT
    I feel my depression came on once I got rid of all my online porn and went to church. And now that I'm back on here I feel better.
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    Sep 09, 2009 5:39 AM GMT
    Spiritual fulfillment, yay.

    Organized religion, nay.
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    Sep 09, 2009 5:50 AM GMT
    Maybe you need another church, one that loves you for who you are. They're out there.

    I'm certain that if a God created you, he/she/it wouldn't discard you being gay. That would be very un-omnipotent of him/her/it.

    And by porn, I hope you're talking about adult porn. And human.
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    Sep 09, 2009 5:59 AM GMT
    In a word, no. Hanging around depressing people will do the trick whether those people happen to be in a church or not.

    For me it's the opposite. Just thinking about spending time in a "gay" venue fills me chock full of exasperation.
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    Sep 09, 2009 6:08 AM GMT
    organized religion can be oppressive but so can obsessive compulsive tendencies. Sounds like you're having some sort of inner battle. Check your bulb!
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    Sep 09, 2009 6:35 AM GMT
    It's the
    ...........................................guilt-300x299.jpg
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    Sep 09, 2009 11:42 AM GMT
    I found out as a young man that when I try to stamp out my homosexuality I also stamp out my heterosexuality. So being married, and having plenty of access to straight sex, I have sometimes found that gay porn is a good thing for me for balance icon_biggrin.gif. Of course I wander over to the straight channels too...

    Being Christian, I sometimes worry about the spiritual well-being of the people I am watching. But then I figure they would not be doing it if they did not get something out of it, just as I do. Maybe that is a cop out.

    As far as the Church goes, I find it helpful. I have gone out of my way to find a church that accepts all people no matter who they are. Like other posters here, I believe that an accepting church that reflects Jesus's own acceptance of all people is the key to finding a place in organized religion as a gay person. I believe there is always a place in spirituality for any person.
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    Sep 09, 2009 12:34 PM GMT
    What kind of church is it? There are A LOT of different types of churches. Some I find uplifting and inspirational and some make me want to hang myself. Admittedly, most I've visited fall in the latter category but there are some which have fallen in the former. Just like you wouldn't limit yourself to just one porn site, don't limit yourself to one church or denomination. Shop around.
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    Sep 09, 2009 1:26 PM GMT
    My severe depression didn't lift until i walked away from christianity and accepted my homosexuality
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    Sep 09, 2009 1:56 PM GMT
    I am not going to tell you to walk away from your religion, though I would suggest that to anyone. I am going to tell you to never, ever, ever walk away from your porn.

    Porn is a wonderful way for us to explore fantasy. Porn gives us a few minutes a day to be elbow deep in a power bottom when we should be doing the dishes. Porn allows us to transubstantiate a mere sock into a glorious, shimmering cum rag. At the end of all your long and were years you will look back on your life. You will see all the joy you have had in your life. And when you look at all the sorrow you will see only one set of footprints in the sand. You will wonder why, why did you walk alone at the hour of your greatest need. That is when porn carried you.
  • Aquanerd

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    Sep 09, 2009 2:29 PM GMT
    yourwarmnfuzzy saidI feel my depression came on once I got rid of all my online porn and went to church. And now that I'm back on here I feel better.


    I think that porn vs religion isn't the issue. I agree with a few of the post that "quilt" is the issue. When you are in a "religious setting" it pulls your subconscious guilt to the fore. Porn lets you escape from the real world and thereby suppress your guilt. It's up to you and only you to figure out what you feel guilty about. It my or my not be a "sexual quilt." Again you have to figure that out. no one here on a message board will be of any help.

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    Sep 09, 2009 2:39 PM GMT
    Yes and no. On the one hand, a weight was lifted from my shoulders when I gave up oppressive organized religion. On the other, clinical depression is not necessarily situation-specific; rather, it is a medical condition characterized by a chemical imbalance in the brain.

    Otherwise, Ciarsolo7 said it best. Christianity gets a very bad rap on RJ, but I think that many detractors aren't making a distinction between organized religion and the faith, itself.
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    Sep 10, 2009 4:37 PM GMT
    I feel as if the Grace oriented Non-denominational Church is Happy enough, as long as it is Jesus you are happy about. But that is not a place to celebrate homosexuality. RJ is great for the freedom of expressing the christian and homosexual side. I don't get porn here. But the comfortableness I get here leads me to go get the porn, instead of going to Church and singing Praises to God.

    I was looking at porn before joining back in to RJ and my depression didn't go away until I got on Real Jock again, so maybe I really depend on the fellowship I get here more than the porn. Being free to text on here is the healthy thing. Porn will let me see the studmuffin from the college locker room have sex and then I'll know what that looks like. But texting here is being intimate on emotional, intellectual level that porn even I dare say real sex can't give. Maybe communication is what is needed most between people and when I go to my huge church and sit there for an hour listening to the Pastor then spend only a few minutes chatting small talk with others I know is not enough for me.
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    Sep 10, 2009 4:47 PM GMT
    I was once a saved-by-grace-not-by-works, personal-relationship-with-Jesus, we-walk-by-faith-and-not-by-sight, God-is-love, mushy gushy sweet and sappy Christian.. and I can't agree with John Lennon more in saying...
    imaginenoreligionbillboard.jpg

    Then you could have just about anything in life any decent human being could want without feeling the unnecessary guilt imposed upon you by religion.

    Some would say not to question your faith. I say question it all you want, and keep questioning it - demand answers from your religion, hold it accountable for the validity of its claims; and surely you will see that it falls apart like a stack of cards.

    The only people who remain religious are those who have never really scrutinized their faith sincerely, or those who are too afraid to.
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    Sep 10, 2009 5:04 PM GMT
    yourwarmnfuzzy saidI feel my depression came on once I got rid of all my online porn and went to church. And now that I'm back on here I feel better.

    Your profile merely indicates you're in the USA, no specific city or state. A Metropolitan Community Church (MCC), if near you, might provide both the religious and gay support you wish.

    http://www.mccchurch.org/Content/NavigationMenu/FindanMCC/USAandPuertoRico/USA_and_Puerto_Rico.htm

    I'm not religious myself, but respect those who are, and appreciate noble sentiments. I attend an MCC, and while I don't accept their religious doctrine literally, I love the spirit and good will to others I eperience there. No doubt a lot of rationalization on my part, but I like the results I see there.

    In fact, the first time I ever attended an MCC, in Minneapolis, Minnesota, was one of the watershed moments in my life. I saw couples, gay & lesbian, lining up in the aisle to receive Communion, hand in hand, or arms around each other, something I had never known in any church before. I started crying uncontrollably, and had to remove myself to the church vestibule.

    For future services I sat in the last pew on the end, knowing I would have to excuse myself at those moments. It was a while before I could remain seated through the whole service.

    At the MCC here in Fort Lauderdale I now go into the aisle myself, with my partner, first for the anointing, and then again for Communion. I suppose it's blasphemous, because I don't believe in much of the words they're saying, but I do believe in the goodness of it. And so I attend, and sometimes am a Lector at the pulpit, because of my trained speaking voice.

    Do consider an MCC for yourself, or some other gay-friendly church.
  • twentyfourhou...

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    Sep 10, 2009 5:53 PM GMT
    There may well be a correlation between the two. But the root of major depression can be very complex and not as simple as being comfortable or guilt free regarding living and accepting oneself as a homosexual. There are those who are genetically predisposed to have recurrent bouts of major depression at different stages in life. For such individuals, medications serve a very real role in the recovery or managment of such episodes. For those without the genetic predisposition or tendency, the turmoil of dealing with unwanted same sex feelings on a daily basis weighs heavily. It is not surprising that this translates into mental health issues like anxiety and depression and ultimately engaging in unhealthy behaviors (alcohol, risky sex, etc). For such people, they must first come to terms with who they are as a human being and this takes time and a lot of work!

    I will also say that finding a church that you truly feel comfortable in and supports you as a human being can be a great help and is vital to acceptance (as long as you have such beleifs)).
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    Oct 04, 2009 3:59 AM GMT
    As a gay man coming out of a long term hetero marriage, I found liberation as a Christian and as a gay when I became involved in the United Church of Christ. They were the first to irdain a black, a woman, and a gay.

    www.ucc.org

    Contrary to some on RJ, a gay man can be a Christian AND scrutinize his faith carefully.
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    Oct 04, 2009 4:28 AM GMT
    Bleeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
    blood-shot-eyes.gif
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    Oct 11, 2009 5:04 PM GMT



    Hey hockynick79,

    "The only people who remain religious are those who have never really scrutinized their faith sincerely, or those who are too afraid to."

    This is based on your experiences, which have been quite horrible.


    I'm not at all like your quote.
    Religious, meaning belonging to an organized faith, or believing in god? I say believing in god, as in believing in love, or believing in my partner.


    -Doug, a christian
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    Oct 11, 2009 5:09 PM GMT
    yourwarmnfuzzy saidI feel my depression came on once I got rid of all my online porn and went to church. And now that I'm back on here I feel better.


    Actually, I believe that this comment doesn't need to evoke responses on the value of religion, or organized religion vs spirituality.

    I believe the comment illustrates something that is really very common sense.

    The OP has found purpose and direction. Whether it was religion (in his case) or volunteerism (for others), or devotion to a pursuit (as in physical exercise), that purpose and direction provides a set point that doesn't exist if one's day consists of sitting in front of a computer monitor looking at pictures and getting off.

    John
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    Oct 11, 2009 5:17 PM GMT
    hockeynick79 saidI was once a saved-by-grace-not-by-works, personal-relationship-with-Jesus, we-walk-by-faith-and-not-by-sight, God-is-love, mushy gushy sweet and sappy Christian.. and I can't agree with John Lennon more in saying...
    imaginenoreligionbillboard.jpg

    Then you could have just about anything in life any decent human being could want without feeling the unnecessary guilt imposed upon you by religion.

    Some would say not to question your faith. I say question it all you want, and keep questioning it - demand answers from your religion, hold it accountable for the validity of its claims; and surely you will see that it falls apart like a stack of cards.

    The only people who remain religious are those who have never really scrutinized their faith sincerely, or those who are too afraid to.


    How did you arrive at this conclusion?

    I can state just the opposite. I can state that the only people who are not religious are those who run from themselves and do not scrutinize the emptiness of their lives.
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    Oct 11, 2009 5:18 PM GMT
    Not exactly.
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    Oct 11, 2009 5:23 PM GMT
    MunchingZombie saidI am not going to tell you to walk away from your religion, though I would suggest that to anyone. I am going to tell you to never, ever, ever walk away from your porn.

    Porn is a wonderful way for us to explore fantasy. Porn gives us a few minutes a day to be elbow deep in a power bottom when we should be doing the dishes. Porn allows us to transubstantiate a mere sock into a glorious, shimmering cum rag. At the end of all your long and were years you will look back on your life. You will see all the joy you have had in your life. And when you look at all the sorrow you will see only one set of footprints in the sand. You will wonder why, why did you walk alone at the hour of your greatest need. That is when porn carried you.


    Porn still plays such an important role in your life?

    I guess we all have our coping mechanisms