Is it possible to be gay and NOT engage in gay sex?

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    Sep 09, 2009 3:47 AM GMT
    I am sure this has been the topic here before, but seriously, I was told it's OK to be gay! It's just not ok to have GAY SEX! So WTF? Just because I am ...you know....GAY....I have to have a sexless life and let everyone else have a good time? I mean why not put me with the others who are handicapped in some way!

    Tell me what I should go back and say to these people please....icon_question.gif
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    Sep 09, 2009 3:50 AM GMT
    Were these Catholics by chance? Sounds like the typical Catholic stance on homosexuality. As far as what you should go tell these people - nothing! You do not have to justify your sexual life choices to anyone but yourself.
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    Sep 09, 2009 3:52 AM GMT
    Who told you this? Was it someone religious?
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    Sep 09, 2009 3:56 AM GMT
    phemt saidWere these Catholics by chance? Sounds like the typical Catholic stance on homosexuality. As far as what you should go tell these people - nothing! You do not have to justify your sexual life choices to anyone but yourself.





    These people are all the ones I have to constantly stand up to. They are family, friends and others in my community. I am looked down upon if I say I am gay. I think just mentioning the ...gay...word jars some real emotion in people.

    If I wore a halo around my head and it said....oh don't worry, he's a good gay boy and has no sex. You can all be happy and go on fucking like animals. I really do live in such a community!

    I think I need to move now...
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    Sep 09, 2009 3:58 AM GMT
    hockeynick79 saidWho told you this? Was it someone religious?





    My Family members expect me to not be sexual UNLESS I am married...and to a woman!!

    God Help me....

    Not only them, it's my neighbors and others in my ultra right wing community.........
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Sep 09, 2009 3:59 AM GMT
    "Is it possible to be gay and NOT engage in gay sex?"
    _______________________________________________

    Certainly.
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    Sep 09, 2009 4:02 AM GMT
    Webster666 said"Is it possible to be gay and NOT engage in gay sex?"
    _______________________________________________

    Certainly.



    HOW? HAHA

    I want and LIKE to fuck....

    ok..then what...be a spinster? How and why should I have that....it's like telling a 19 year old to wait to have sex....until WHEN? 80?

    Also, sex aside I would like to have a nice and loving relationship whit a man and I am told that's forbidden too...so what gives?
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    Sep 09, 2009 4:08 AM GMT
    of course you don't need to engage in sex with men to be gay, being gay is not about sex, yes, its a delightful perk, but it's the the whole picture.

    Being gay is about what goes on inside of you, being gay means that drive within you is pushing you to seek out other men for romantic (and sexual) persuits, you desire a wanting to develop a relationship with another man, the idea of having a relationship with a women is about as foreign to you as to heterosexual men having a desire to develop a relationship with another man.

    Many Christians wont understand this because it weakens there point, so they reject, ignore or just outright deny it.

    Sex is a great thing, but a relationship isn't built on sex since, you don't fuck 24 hours a day 7 days a week 365 days a year, most of the time you spend together, enjoying each others company.
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    Sep 09, 2009 4:08 AM GMT
    Are you catholic? Do you practice Catholicism?

    I have a friend of mine who prays the rosary every day, Hail Mary's, the whole thing. I asked him what he thinks about their stance on sexuality. He said he wasn't sure about all of it, but he knows he is still Gods child and knows that God loves him. That was enough for him. I feel the same way. Im happy with my relationship with God, and that is that.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Sep 09, 2009 4:11 AM GMT
    Sorry.
    I responded after only reading the title of your thread.

    The radical right wing religious nuts used to cling to their belief that it was a sin to be gay. But, now that homosexuality is so much more widely accepted as being perfectly normal, they still want to hold onto their ignorant prejudice by claiming it's okay to say you're gay, but it's not okay to be gay.

    Roll my eyes.
    _____________________________________________________

    "Indeed, Miss Manners has come to believe that the basic political division in this country is not between liberals and conservatives but between those who believe that they should have a say in the love lives of strangers and those who do not."

    --Judith Martin (AKA Miss Manners)

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    Sep 09, 2009 4:13 AM GMT
    Also, I do believe that if I still live a "Christian" life, obey all the laws that the heterosexuals do, Im still doing what God wants us to do to live a happier and healthier life. I am confident that if I find a man to settle down with, get married, and live a good life, help others, etc, I'm going to be ok. It is possible to be gay and not have sex. Its not about sex, its about life and love. Gotta remember, Man wrote the bible, not God.
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    Sep 09, 2009 4:16 AM GMT

    If you suck enough cock, you are bonified GAY. If you swallow, you are awesome and also pretty damn gay.If you smoke lots of bunghole, you might be straight. It's just a bussy, that's why. icon_surprised.gif
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    Sep 09, 2009 4:17 AM GMT
    Dude you are 36 right? Isn't it time you lived your life they way you want without giving a damn trying to justify yourself to your family. Dan Savage has good advice: Bascialy, "Give your family one year to come to terms with you being gay. If after that one year they are unable to accept you they lose having you in their life".
    http://friendlyatheist.com/2009/06/07/dan-savage-on-coming-out-to-your-evangelical-family/
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    Sep 09, 2009 4:18 AM GMT
    Epiphany1882 saidAre you catholic? Do you practice Catholicism?

    I have a friend of mine who prays the rosary every day, Hail Mary's, the whole thing. I asked him what he thinks about their stance on sexuality. He said he wasn't sure about all of it, but he knows he is still Gods child and knows that God loves him. That was enough for him. I feel the same way. Im happy with my relationship with God, and that is that.



    Is my religion important here.??

    This is what the world believes!!!
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    Sep 09, 2009 4:24 AM GMT
    i have tried to live without gay sex in my life when i knew that i was gay. it sucks. now that i allow myself to enjoy what i had always denied, i feel invigorated. there is an excitement that wasn't there before. i feel more fulfilled as a person. we are all sexual beings.

    going the straight marriage route doesn't solve any problems either. tried that too. don't want to ruin any other women's lives.
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    Sep 09, 2009 4:25 AM GMT
    phemt saidDude you are 36 right? Isn't it time you lived your life they way you want without giving a damn trying to justify yourself to your family. Dan Savage has good advice: Bascialy, "Give your family one year to come to terms with you being gay. If after that one year they are unable to accept you they lose having you in their life".
    http://friendlyatheist.com/2009/06/07/dan-savage-on-coming-out-to-your-evangelical-family/


    I always knew I liked guys since I can remember. I was forced to live a lie most of my life. Gay is now ok....If I told who I was just a few years back I would have been stoned to death.

    Gay and no sex.....no matter ...I was still GAY!

    Now, your right, I am in control. I have call the shots! They are in my grasp. I feel the power of WHO and what I have become.

    When I told my mom I was NOT sexually attracted to other women....guess what happened? She for some reason took it personally. It floored me and the story continues. I just want away from here....
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    Sep 09, 2009 4:42 PM GMT
    That's what the Catholic church teaches. i went to catholic school and said no one can stop themselves from being gay, but if they indulge, it is a mortal sin that will lead to hell if they don't go to confession.

    It makes no sense. I ended up leaving the church because of it. It's clearly not fair to say gays are called to be celibate. I'm not going to live a sexless, unpartnered life. It's asking too much.
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    Sep 09, 2009 5:32 PM GMT
    Mystic_Man saidI am sure this has been the topic here before, but seriously, I was told it's OK to be gay! It's just not ok to have GAY SEX! So WTF? Just because I am ...you know....GAY....I have to have a sexless life and let everyone else have a good time? I mean why not put me with the others who are handicapped in some way!

    Tell me what I should go back and say to these people please....icon_question.gif


    Tell them to mind their own business. They have no more right to tell you how to live your life, than you have a right to tell them how to live theirs.

    Tell them *they* don't get to decide what's "ok" and what isn't.
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    Sep 09, 2009 6:00 PM GMT
    You are a grown ass man. Your family has no right to make demands of you in this regard. What you need to do is draw a line in the sand.

    "Mom, Dad, I am gay and I have sex just like you are straight and you have sex. I don't have a right to make demands of your sex life any more than you have the right to make demands of mine. So, our sex lives are off the table for discussion. You will not talk to me about my sex life. I will not talk to you about your sex life. If you do, I will walk out that door and you will not hear from me again. Understood?"

    Your parents do not provide for you. They do not live with you. What they get out of this relationship is time with you. If they are unwilling to let you be you then you will not give them relationship time. It is that simple.

    You have to be the one to tell them to stop and make it explicitly clear what will happen if they do not. If you don't, they will continue to poison you with these ridiculous, homophobic demands.

    Let us know how it goes.
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    Sep 09, 2009 6:11 PM GMT
    I used to hear similar admonitions. So, no. Tell them you are a slave to your primal urges, and that you must perform illicit sex acts with other men or face certain death. That oughtta shut 'em up.
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    Sep 09, 2009 6:12 PM GMT
    Mystic_Man said
    Epiphany1882 saidAre you catholic? Do you practice Catholicism?

    I have a friend of mine who prays the rosary every day, Hail Mary's, the whole thing. I asked him what he thinks about their stance on sexuality. He said he wasn't sure about all of it, but he knows he is still Gods child and knows that God loves him. That was enough for him. I feel the same way. Im happy with my relationship with God, and that is that.



    Is my religion important here.??

    This is what the world believes!!!


    No, not at all, but what you are saying is being said to you is usually heard from said denomination, and Baptists. lol Just a curiosity thing really.

    Main point, I think you should assert yourself to your family, like has been said elsewhere here. You are their Son, but your sex life has nothing to do with them. Not a easy situation though, and I wish you the best as you go through it.
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    Sep 09, 2009 6:41 PM GMT
    I think it is impossible to be a *human* without sex.
  • swimbikerun

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    Sep 09, 2009 6:53 PM GMT
    I say ENGAGE!
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    Sep 09, 2009 6:55 PM GMT
    Yes it is possible. There is a guy I know who is gay and goes to church often. He reallys wants to get to heaven and realizes that gay sex is wrong, in his eyes. Because of this, he claims to have a great relationship with God and doesn't blame him for being born gay, as long as he doesn't act on his temptations. He always seems so happy and always content with life, so perhaps it is true. I really do respect him, I know I couldn't go long without a manly face, nice arms and thighs, a nice beautiful dick, and bubble butt to lick.

    He lives by the scripture that says "It is better for some men to not marry" I'm not sure what scripture this is stated in...
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    Sep 09, 2009 6:57 PM GMT
    You can be human and not have sex.